


Starting over

by Veli



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 48,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3805513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veli/pseuds/Veli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity Smoak is a computer genius and former ‘Hacktivist’. She works for a high end private security company as the resident IT-expert and PA to the company’s owner, Oliver Queen. She loves her job and the people she works with – in fact their team have become her second family. Pretty much all is well in her world - except for one tiny, inconvenient, problem: Felicity is hopelessly in love with Oliver, but Oliver shows no romantic interest in her and has apparently taken a vow to remain single for life! </p>
<p>One evening Felicity has to drop off some paperwork at Oliver’s apartment and the two of them wind up sharing a bottle of wine. Later that night Felicity wakes up alone in Oliver’ bed, with a hang-over and no recollection of how she got there or what happened. She assumes they’ve slept together and knowing full well there’s no going back once that line has been crossed, she realizes it’s time to make some major decisions about her life – one of which may be leaving behind the dream of a future with Oliver.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So that happened...

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic - and in English! - so a little scary.
> 
> Anyway, this is a semi-AU, in which Oliver is not a Vigilante, but in stead owns and operates a private security company and Felicity is his IT-specialist and PA. However, characters and events are pretty close to and / or based on the show up until mid season 3.
> 
> Hope you will like it.

So that happened…

“I need to have my head examined” she muttered to herself, as she re-read Oliver’s note. “Emergency at work!” she scuffed – “I’ll just bet,” she mumbled to herself. “that ’Emergency’ will turn out to be yet another suicide mission that no one will ever thank you for undertaking.” Then she mentally slapped herself for thinking like that. She believed in what they did – they helped a lot of people, and he was very, very good at it too. She silently admitted to herself that what really bothered her was the fact that his note was so completely impersonal. 

“How did I let this happen?” she complained to her own reflection in the darkened window, wincing slightly at the pounding in her head. “This is SO bad!” Not only was Oliver a friend – and her boss! – he also just happened to be the man she’d been deeply (and secretly) in love with for the past three years. Okay, so maybe not so secretly, come to think of it. At least it seemed lots of people had guessed her secret. But it had never been discussed between the two of them, and therefore it wasn’t a thing, she decided. 

And judging by his note that wasn’t about to change because of what had happened here tonight. With a disgusted sigh she turned away from the window and went to pick up her clothes. She got dressed in the semi darkness not wanting to wait around till Oliver got back. They would obviously need to talk about this, but now wasn’t the time. He was working and would be completely focused on the job. Besides, she really needed to sort out the current confusion of her own feelings – and this headache - before confronting him. 

She picked up her purse and slipped on her shoes, all the while scanning his bedroom for a scrap of paper – something to leave him a note in return. 

His bed side table was a mess of papers, all of them full of unintelligible scribble – unintelligible to most that is. Felicity knew exactly what they were. He’s nighttime thoughts and musings often caused by recurring nightmares courtesy of his troubled past. She’d gotten little bits and pieces of information out of him over the past three years of working closely with him, and knew enough about his past at this point to understand his drive and dedication to the work they were doing. 

She leafed through the pile till she found a piece of blank paper. She fished her favorite pen from her purse and paused a second as she contemplated what to write. His friendship was important to her and she didn’t want this to get between them. Besides, he was her boss so it wasn’t like she wouldn’t see him again - and soon. Oh, yikes! She shuddered. How awkward was THAT going to be! Mind you, he wasn’t likely to allow one night of poor judgement to influence their working relationship. He was far too professional for that – way too professional actually, she thought, wistfully.   
Chewing her pen for a minute while mentally composing the note, Felicity was struck by the futility of the feelings she’d been nursing for the past three years.   
It wasn’t even like she hadn’t tried to get over him. She had! She had dated – not a lot maybe but some. She had even made an attempt at a real relationship. None of it had lasted very long, though. The dates never really seemed able to capture her interest. She had mostly been bored silly after just a few hours, and had rarely agreed to a second date. Her one attempt at an actual relationship had been with a guy she’d met while working a case for one of their big corporate clients – a follow-up on a theft of some highly confidential high tech research equipment.   
On paper they had been perfect for each other, but it had lasted less than three weeks and had ended when he had casually referred to her as his ‘girlfriend’. Way too soon she thought. Anyone would have been freaked out by that. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t entirely fair. If she was being completely honest, the real issue had been Oliver and the way she felt about him. Truthfully, she kind of doubted she’d ever feel that way about anyone else. And if she was being really honest, she knew she would have had no problem if Oliver had used that word minutes after they met. How pathetic was that?   
“Oh, get a grip!” she mumbled angrily to herself. It was bad enough that last night’s wine session had resulted in this annoying hang-over and her doing the one thing she couldn’t allow herself to do – get intimate with Oliver and risk showing him how she felt about him. But to add insult to injury she couldn’t even remember any of it!!! How ironic was that? Three years of hopeless infatuation and pining for the guy, and she didn’t even have any delicious memories to nurse from the experience. It was SO unfair! It was obviously SO time to move on! Clearly, Oliver had. And now he was out on another assignment, risking his own life to keep others safe. For all she knew this would be the job he didn’t return from. And even if he did – there would always be another, and another, and another. 

But since she was being honest (if only with herself) the job didn’t really bother her. The assignments she could deal with. That was after all the job she’d signed on for. No, the problem was that Oliver had made it perfectly clear on multiple occasions that he could never risk a serious relationship with anyone because of the work he did (come to think of it, wasn’t it a little insulting that he’d felt the need to stress that to her?). He probably thought he was being all noble and self-sacrificing, but what he completely failed to understand was that his sacrifice also meant serious heartache for anyone unlucky – or stupid - enough to fall in love with him. 

He always seemed anxious to ensure that every one he cared for was happy – including her – but he seemed to have foregone any chance of happiness for himself. “Yeah well”, she thought, ”happiness – that’s just not going to happen – not like this”. For her to be happy would require more than just being alive, she grumpily thought to herself as she was pulling on her coat. Being alive was just… well, being alive. Happiness, on the other hand? It really said it all when your happiest memory was of the man of your dreams professing his love for you, as a ploy to catch a psycho killer on a rampage! (This had happened the previous year, on one of the few occasions she’d actually been in the field with the rest of the team during an assignment, when she had volunteered to be their ‘bait’). “So pathetic!” she thought, silently berating herself for not being able to stem the slightly fuzzy feeling the memory of that “I love you” still gave her. “Even now…” she sighed at her own weakness, turned on her heel and headed for the door. 

No, this had to end! She was going to have to cut herself out of his life. It was about time she moved on, and it seemed the only way that was going to happen was if she removed herself from all temptation. She was never going to be able to fully commit to anyone else if he was still in her heart and her head – and as long as she was anywhere near him, that would never change. Besides, if sleeping with her didn’t even make Oliver sit up and take notice, she was clearly fighting a losing battle. “Enough is enough!” she thought, as the door slammed behind her. “I have too much self-respect for this”. 

***

Oliver usually didn’t allow himself to see her privately. His impossibly smart, super-efficient, sometimes infuriating, and always absolutely adorable PA and IT-girl was just too great a temptation for him. He usually wouldn’t risk the intimacy of one-on-one private visits. It made it too hard to keep his resolve to keep things platonic between them. But tonight he had needed someone to talk to, and when she had stopped by with the papers he had requested, it had seemed like an innocent enough gesture to invite her to stay for a glass of wine. Friends did that, right? But once they got talking he had sort of lost track, and somehow they had ended up sharing the entire bottle. 

She wasn’t much of a drinker and the wine had made her talkative – well, more talkative than usual, which was really saying something, he mused. But then her voice had suddenly gone all slurry and she had rested her head on the back of the couch and drifted off, snoring ever so lightly. He grinned at the memory – she would hate that he had heard her snoring, he knew. But he had found it cute – endearing really, he thought – before he mentally slammed the lid on that box of thoughts! 

Of course he had been at a bit of a loss as to what to do with her once she’d nodded off. He was a little unclear on the protocol for employees/friends/adorable-as-hell females falling asleep on your couch. 

In the end he’d decided on putting her to bed, because he had to leave on an assignment, and he might be gone for a while. And he wouldn’t want her to get a bum neck from sleeping in an awkward position. At least that was what he had told himself - repeatedly - as he carried her to the bedroom, unzipped her dress and removed her shoes (because he wanted her to be comfortable). He had tucked her into his king size bed, trying very hard not to look at the lacy, pale pink, underwear the dress had been hiding, or the smooth, soft skin that his hands couldn’t help but come into contact with, while he settled her under the covers. 

Tucking the duvet in around her, he had sat on the edge of the bed for a while, studying her familiar features. They had been working closely together for three years now and he had long since memorized her face. Her every expression. That way she had of angling her head when she wanted to comment on his actions but didn’t. They knew each other so well by now that he knew exactly what that peculiar head tilt meant. He smiled to himself. No one could put him in his place with just a stare the way she could. Even the lift of an eye brow spoke volumes! 

He studied her face now – something he usually didn’t allow himself to do, but he couldn’t pass up the chance of looking without being discovered. His eyes traced the soft curve of her cheek, the rounded chin, plump pink lips, slightly parted in sleep. Her eyes, he knew, were a mesmerizing blue-grey color that would change depending on the light and her mood. She looked so peaceful and vulnerable in her sleep. He hadn’t been able to help himself. He had gently brushed a stray lock of blonde hair off her forehead. Then, he had leaned down and lightly brushed his lips over her forehead, her cheek – he had pulled back and studied her peaceful features for a second, then finally, pressed a butterfly-light kiss to her lips. God, she smelled so good! He’d just wanted to breathe her in for a while. 

No, strike that. What he had really wanted to do was curl up on the bed next to her, pull her in close, and go to sleep with her in his arms. But that was an impossible dream and he never allowed himself to even think it. Besides, he thought as he reigned in his wayward imagination, he had work to do, and he needed to leave – which was exactly what he had done after writing her a brief note and leaving it on the bedside table.

***

Felicity paid the cab driver and hurried up the steps to unlock her front door. She was glad she’d taken a cab earlier that evening because she didn’t feel up to driving just yet, and she’d really needed to get out of Oliver’s apartment before his return. It was very late – or very early depending on your point of view – but she didn’t feel tired. She was anxious to sort out a solution for getting herself out of the mess she had made of things this evening, before her resolve evaporated (which it was sure to do if she heard from Oliver now). 

Not that she considered herself a pushover or anything, but she knew she had a weak spot where Oliver was concerned. Okay, so probably more like a weakness the size of the entire North American continent. If he asked for her help – she would stay and help. 

So, it was absolutely necessary to make a clean break and get far enough away that she wouldn’t be tempted to come running every time he got himself into trouble, which he did on a regular basis.   
In all honesty Felicity wasn’t entirely sure that her leaving wouldn’t be a bit of a relief for him. She suspected he knew she felt more than friendly affection for him, even if he had never said anything. In any case, after what happened tonight, he most certainly knew! And since that was obviously not a good thing in his book, he might welcome her decision, she thought, disheartened.  
She flung her coat over the back of a chair and dumped her bag on top of it. She needed to think. She needed distance – she needed a new life that could hopefully make her forget the one she was leaving behind.   
The obvious first step would be to go home - to her mom. It might even be kind of nice to spend some time with her mom again. They hadn’t spoken for a long time when her mom had suddenly breezed into her life again a few months ago, and for the first time in her adult life they had reconnected. When her mom had gone back home they’d made a promise to stay in touch – and for once Felicity had actually meant it. 

But even so, the prospect of staying with her mom for any length of time wasn’t very appealing. No, she needed a place of her own to start fresh. And she needed something to do – preferably something challenging to take her mind off Oliver and everything she was leaving behind.

She had some savings that would tie her over until she found a new job. She sighed, contemplating the difficulty of finding anything even remotely like the dream job she was in right now. “Make that the impossibility”, she thought despairingly. For someone with her expertise and special skills this job was heaven!

And there was just that minor detail of getting out of her current job. She was pretty sure that giving notice was still a thing (even if you ended the job by sleeping with your boss!). She was also fairly certain that Oliver would be reasonable, but there really was no way around going in to talk to him in the morning, she realized. They would just have to work something out. Something that could take effect immediately!   
“Great!” she said to the empty living room, ”I’m quitting my dream job, and saying good bye to the only man I’ve ever loved – all so I can go and start a new and exciting career as a check-out girl at the local K-mart in my home town! Fantastic!”   
Still, having decided on a course of action, made her feel a little bit better. What she needed now was a couple of painkillers for the headache, a hot shower and a few hours of sleep to get her through the next day. She sighed, undressing as she went, dropping items of clothing like breadcrumbs between the front door and the bathroom.   
Felicity stood under the shower for ages, letting the hot water massage her scalp and shoulders, feeling some of the tension drain away. The lemon and vanilla scented shower gel slowly worked its magic on the chaos of her emotional state. She was going to be all right, she told her sullen, inner romantic, who was clearly not impressed with her decision to leave! She just needed a fresh start. So what if her heart was breaking all over again whenever she thought of never seeing Oliver again – it would heal eventually. It was the only way. 

***

The assignment had gone as was to be expected, meaning nothing went as planned so all contingency plans – plus some improvisation - had to be deployed. Oliver had gotten back with more problems than solutions in the bag, but all he could think about now, was that he needed to see her. He had left her asleep in his apartment, but when he got back she was gone. He had found a note saying something vague and incomprehensible about their ‘situation’. That in itself was worrying – Felicity didn’t do vague! 

So here he was, racing to her apartment on his motorcycle. She would probably be asleep, he thought, but he would just check that all was quiet around her place. If she was asleep he’d head home to get some much needed sleep himself and talk to her in the morning – or at least that’s what he kept telling himself. He felt a slight pang of disappointment at the thought of going to bed alone, but quickly discarded the thought as ‘off limits’. It was just a case of raging hormones talking, brought on by the fact that he had put her to bed – his bed - and watched her sleep, earlier that evening. He really shouldn’t have done that. An unwelcome image of her curled up on her side, in nothing but those scraps of pale pink lace intruded on his thoughts. No, he really, really shouldn’t have done that!   
When he got to her apartment the lights were still on behind the curtains. He might as well check in on her and maybe talk over the mission with her, he thought as he knocked on the door, suddenly a little hesitant. He wasn’t exactly sure how to explain being there. But, he told himself, she was after all his favorite sounding board for work complications. And there was also the matter of that somewhat cryptic note she had left him. It felt a bit off for some reason, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. No, something was definitely up with her and he didn’t like it. So here he was, in the middle of the night, just checking up on her. Friends did that.  
He knocked again, but still no answer. Feeling oddly uneasy he searched for a crack between the curtains to get a glimpse of the inside. No such luck. All was quiet, and he couldn’t see movement. The slight flutter of nerves began to tighten into a ball of worry. He was aware that their line of work tended to make him overly paranoid but what if she was in real danger? What they did made them all targets for dangerous people. She wasn’t usually in the field, but anyone on the team could be targeted. He wasn’t aware of any immediate danger, but lots of people knew how much he cared about the people on his team. Did anyone suspect how much he cared about her in particular? And would anyone have a reason to try to get to him by using her? 

He knocked one more time, but still nothing happened. Resolutely he tried the door handle – locked. But that was to be expected, he thought. A locked door wasn’t much of an obstacle for him, although he paused briefly to consider just how angry she was likely to be with him for breaking in. He smiled at the thought. He could already hear her indignant protests at his violation of her privacy. But he would take the scolding any day - her safety came first. 

Silently picking the lock, he didn’t even consider his course of action if someone was in fact threatening her. There was nothing to consider. Quietly he slipped inside, and pushed the door shut. He scanned the room for movement. Then he noticed the trail of familiar clothing on the floor (for a second the sight of pale pink lace made him contemplate the fact that she was now without the fancy underwear he had spied earlier that evening), just as he heard the shower turn off. Relief flooded him as he silently berated himself for overreacting. She was fine – just taking a shower. 

He was just debating how much trouble he was likely to be in for breaking in, when the bathroom door opened and a cloud of steam billowed out. From inside the cloud came a figure wrapped in a fluffy robe and a towel wrapped around her head. She was mumbling to herself and clearly hadn’t noticed him there. 

Oliver cleared his throat to warn her of his presence….and was rewarded with an immediate and piercing scream. God, the woman had a set of lungs on her! She clearly didn’t need the high tech alarm system he knew she’d had installed (but obviously hadn’t activated on coming home – he would have to talk to her about that) – she was perfectly capable of raising the alarm herself! 

“Felicity!” he yelled, “Calm down! It’s me – Oliver”. 

***

The shower had worked its magic and Felicity was feeling just drowsy enough to be hopeful that she could manage a few more hours of sleep. She wrapped a towel around her damp hair and opened the door to the steamy bathroom, letting the cool air from the living-room in. She couldn’t be bothered with the hairdryer now. It would just have to go in a pony tail tomorrow she thought, as she padded barefoot towards the kitchen for a drink of water.

And then she heard someone – a man – clear his throat! Someone was in the room – in the middle of the night, a man in her apartment! She let out a loud scream and turned to run for her phone only to turn right back around when she remembered that she had dumped her bag – and her phone – on the chair by the front door!

“Felicity!” a familiar voice yelled. “Calm down! It’s me – Oliver!” She stared at the familiar face for what felt like ten minutes – but was probably no more than a few seconds. Then, without a word, she turned around one more time and headed for the kitchen again for that drink of water. And more importantly, for a chance to get her head straight. What was he doing here? She wasn’t ready for that talk yet. She needed time, she needed a speech, she needed - clothes!

“I’m sorry” she heard him saying.” I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to check that you were okay”.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she said, aiming for carefree but sounding a little choked up even to herself. “I guess I must have forgotten to lock the front door”, she added, frowning slightly. She was pretty sure she’d locked it. She always did. 

“Actually” he said, sounding a little sheepish,” I sort of picked the lock. I’m sorry. It’s just that you didn’t answer when I knocked and I was worried. So I, eh…sort of picked it,” he trailed off, clearly not sure how she was going to react. 

Actually, she wasn’t entirely sure how to react either. On the one hand there was a flash of irritation with him for taking it upon himself to come barging in uninvited, trying to save her from whatever danger he had perceived, like she was some damsel in distress – even going to the length of picking her lock when he wasn’t immediately let in! Really? The nerve of the man! On the other hand she was having a hard time holding back a giggle at his obvious discomfort. And also there was that unwelcome warmth at the thought of him caring enough to come to her rescue – however unnecessary. 

“But why are you here” she asked, frowning slightly, as the unusual situation registered.

“Ah, that”, he said, an uncomfortable note to his voice. “Well, like I said I just wanted to make sure you were all right. You know, after what happened.”

Oh dear God, she thought – he wants to have ‘the Talk’. Now - in the middle of the night - and obviously with the idea of letting her down easy. This just wasn’t on. Not now!

“Look, Oliver”, she said, “I thought we could talk tomorrow, you know, at the office? It’s kind of late, and I just want to go to bed”. Oh God! “Alone!” she added hastily in case he got the wrong idea.

He looked startled. “Oh, of course”, he mumbled, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have come here at this hour. It was just that you seemed a little off before you, you know – passed out - earlier this evening, and I wanted to be sure everything was okay”. He looked slightly guilty now – and somehow regretful at the same time? Odd.

“Yeah, about that”, she said. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t know why that happened - I mean, I do. I’d just forgotten that I had started taking my allergy pills this morning, or I guess that would be yesterday morning by now, and they don’t mix so well with alcohol. It tends to make me sleepy, as you’ve probably realized”. Oh God! Someone please stop me, she thought, as she heard herself babble on about her hay fever and the antihistamines that she had to take every year for a few months.

He was looking amused now – and a little relieved too. “Don’t worry about it”, he said, smiling that unfairly adorable, knee-weakening smile of his. The smile that could always get her to do anything. She just really, really hoped he didn’t know that. “I was just concerned when you dosed off like that. You were completely out of it, and you really hadn’t had that much to drink. So how are you feeling now?” 

She winced at the idea of him seeing her ‘completely out of it’ as he put it. Not a good thing, she thought. What if she’d said something embarrassing? Or – horror of horrors – what if she’d told him how she felt? 

“I’m fine”, she said quickly, “like I said - just tired. You must be too – after the night you’ve had. I mean, the assignment…she trailed off, not sure how to talk to him with this thing hanging between them. Talk about an elephant in the room she thought wryly. More like a whole herd of them! 

“Oh, don’t worry about me” he said, “things got a bit tight at one point, but it was nothing we couldn’t handle. Business as usual.” He smiled again. 

“Right,” she said, ”good, that’s good. So did you want anything else? I mean,” she hurriedly added, blushing furiously, ”was there something else you wanted to talk about, or did you just want to make sure I wasn’t comatose on the bathroom floor?” He was definitely laughing at her now, she thought. Oh, blast her lack of brain-to-mouth-filter! 

“Well,” he drawled, with a small amused smile, ”I do want to talk some things over with you but it can wait till morning. You should go and get some sleep. I’ll just see you in the office tomorrow. Make sure you activate the alarm system, though. You never know who’s going to pick your lock next”, he winked and turned towards the door. 

She couldn’t believe it. What was wrong with him? Yes, she hadn’t really wanted to talk now. She had dreaded having to go over it because she was worn out and confused and an emotional mess, but this was even worse! He acted completely oblivious to the fact that they’d crossed a very important line tonight – the line you don’t cross with your friends – and definitely not with your boss! Was it really that insignificant to him? 

For a second she just stood there watching as he walked to the door. 

“Oliver wait”, she blurted out. “Maybe we should talk this over now – in private, I mean”. He turned and looked at her questioningly. He seemed willing enough to stick around, but clearly didn’t see the urgency of the matter. 

“Sure, if you’re up to it” he said,” we can talk now. It’s not that important though. I just thought I’d run the assignment by you – some things went sideways tonight, that we might want to prepare for in the future, stuff like that.” She stared at him, thinking she had misheard or something. Was he seriously talking about work right now? Was that what he’d come here to talk to her about? 

“The assignment. Right, of course”, she said, with the distinct sensation that her stomach curled in on itself and gave up commission. “You know what, you’re right. I’m beat, so let’s just talk tomorrow. There’s no rush”. She was babbling again now. Suddenly she couldn’t get him out of there fast enough. She was completely mortified. How could he be so nonchalant about it? Did it really mean nothing to him? Did she mean so little? “I’ll see you tomorrow”, she added, looking everywhere but at him. 

He stood there looking at her for a minute, as if searching for some sign or other. “Okay, goodnight then,” he said, opened the door and then he was gone.


	2. Moving on...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver clear up a few misunderstandings - but in doing so Felicity realizes that she needs to stick to her original decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a transitional chapter, introducing a few more characters ans such stuff. So basically, just laying the groundwork for what's to come. Hope you'll bear with me.

Felicity had come in to work early. She had finally given up hope of falling asleep around six in the morning, and had decided to just go to work and get some stuff done before Oliver got there. If she was leaving, she reasoned, she should at least make sure that everything was in order first. And hopefully work would take her mind off…other things, she thought, as she mechanically went through her usual morning routine. 

 

Lack of sleep made her head buzz uncomfortably. And it didn’t exactly help matters that she was all jittery because she was about to have ‘The Talk’ with Oliver. But really, it was just like ripping off a band aid, she told herself, as she brushed her teeth. Yeah, and if she kept telling herself that, she might eventually believe it, she thought, rolling her eyes at her own reflection in the mirror. She gave her ponytail a final tug, and straightened her glasses. This was just great! She was going to have the hardest conversation of her life and she was nervous, embarrassed AND sleep deprived – just perfect! 

 

She had been working steadily at her wall of computer screens for a few hours when she heard the ping of the elevator. She felt her heart rate pick up and her cheeks grow hot, but she stubbornly kept her eyes on the screen and the information she was sifting through. She was determined not to act like some love sick puppy. “Calm and professional, Smoak”, she mumbled to herself. She was going to act just like any other day – well, except for the part where she was going to hand in her resignation, obviously. She had actually managed to concentrate on work for the past couple of hours (if you didn’t count the stray thoughts of Oliver, that kept popping into her head every thirty seconds or so – and Felicity didn’t). But really, who could blame her? How was it possible that she couldn’t remember a single thing about last night, between passing out on the couch and waking up in his bed? It was enough to drive anyone insane with unanswered questions. It was just SO frustrating! 

 

“Keep calm! Deep breaths, Keep calm! Deep breaths”, she chanted to herself, as she unseeingly scrolled through the never ending stream of data on her screen, waiting for the sound of his familiar voice, and the ‘Good morning, Felicity’, that usually kick-started her day. 

 

The smell of fresh coffee reached her seconds before a paper cup of steaming hot, deliciously fragrant – and most importantly – caffeinated, beverage landed on her desk top. “Morning”, John said, smiling his usual calm smile. “You look like you can use the java!” She reached for the cup gratefully, breathing in the heavenly aroma. “Ooh, thank you, you’re a life saver”, she said with a smile, quickly readjusting to the reality of John – not Oliver – standing in her office. She took a sip of the cup and closed her eyes for a second, savoring the flavor. It was her favorite roast too, she realized, the one from the coffee shop just around the corner. 

 

“I really needed that”, she said, turning her swivel chair around to face him as he leaned his tall frame against the glass wall. “I couldn’t sleep last night”, she admitted. The she frowned at him. “But how come you’re here so early? You guys were out pretty late last night. Do we have another assignment that I’m not aware of? Oliver’s not in yet”

 

“No”, he said, shoving off the wall and starting towards the window. “But my daughter decided to start her day a bit early today, so I’ve been up for hours and I thought I might as well come in and get a head start on things”. John’s baby girl was the most adorable thing imaginable but like all babies her sleeping patterns had quite an impact on her parents’ life. Lately, John had been looking a little worn out from the early morning wake-up calls. Not a good combination with work that often stretched far into the night. 

 

Felicity felt a fresh pang of regret at the thought of leaving behind not just the job and Oliver – but also this man. John Diggle – Dig for short - was Oliver’s best friend and partner, but he had also become her friend. Someone that she had come to rely on for advice and support no matter what kind of craziness their work threw at them, and she was going to miss him so much, she realized, looking at his broad back as he stood gazing out on the city. 

 

Dig turned around and caught her wistful look before she could rearrange her expression into the best version of a sunny smile that she was capable of this morning. “What’s up Felicity,” he said. “And don’t tell me it’s nothing. Something is clearly bothering you.” He walked back to her desk and sat on the edge, facing her. “Spill!” he ordered, with a warm smile. 

Just then the elevator pinged again, interrupting Digs friendly interrogation. Seconds later Oliver strolled into the front office – her office - and nodded at the two of them with a mumbled ‘good morning’. He looked tired she noticed. But that wasn’t so surprising considering how late he must have gotten to bed last night. He also looked a little wary. Thank God that Dig had shown up first and taken her mind off of things. At least now she was able to act normally around him, she thought gratefully. 

 

“Felicity”, Oliver said. “Would you make sure that I don’t have any meetings this morning? In fact, could you please cancel all meetings today? And no phone calls for the next hour either. Something’s come up”. She nodded, pushed her glasses up her nose and went to work on his schedule, not about to start in on ‘the Talk’ with Dig still in the room. 

 

Oliver turned to John and gave him a closer look. “You look like crap! Did Sarah wake you up early again?” he asked with a relaxed smile. “Yeah, man” Dig answered with a crooked grin. “I love my baby girl to death but I’m seriously beginning to understand sleep deprivation as a means of torture!” He smiled, shaking his head and headed for the door. “I’ll be back in a little while to talk over last night’s assignment. Give you some time to deal with whatever has come up”, he said, giving Felicity a sideways glance. Then he walked down the hallway to his own office. 

 

Felicity shrugged, and went back to work. She would give Oliver a chance to settle in and clear his head, before talking to him, she decided. Not because she was a coward of course – just because the man obviously needed a minute to gather his wits – and possibly down a gallon of coffee! After all, she needed him to be awake and fully functioning for their talk.   
***  
How on earth had he gotten himself into this mess? Oliver thought, as he stood gazing out the window of his corner office. It was almost nine thirty by the time he had gotten in today, and even though he had over slept he was still feeling pretty loopy from sleep deprivation. Seemed that was going around today, he thought distractedly.

 

He had left Felicity last night, feeling inexplicably bothered and confused, and had spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, only to fall into a troubled sleep around seven in the morning. 

Some of the confusion he understood – part of it was purely physical. He had watched her walk out of the bathroom in that robe, knowing full well that she was wearing nothing – nothing! – under it. And although she was technically dressed, somehow the slightly gaping V of the neckline and the loosely tied sash just emphasized the fact that she was naked underneath. It didn’t take much imagination to picture what she looked like under that robe – and he had an excellent imagination! Of course it really didn’t help matters that he’d already seen her in those lacy scraps of underwear earlier that night. He had been completely unable to form complete sentences as he watched her come closer, and he had only a vague   
recollection of the conversation they had had. 

What was wrong with him? He always avoided these situations. Always kept his cool and stayed detached. It was better that way. No one got hurt, and - most importantly – he didn’t have to worry about being the one doing the hurting. Besides, they were friends. She was his employee for crying out loud! He’d managed to keep it that way for three years now, so why was he suddenly unable to keep his usual cool around her? He seemed to be running through a mine field of close calls with her recently - it was getting ridiculous! 

 

Through the glass wall he could see her – blond ponytail swinging - tapping away at her key board in the front office, busy with her usual intricate computer operations. He was no idiot in that department himself but she was in a league of her own and he had only a vague notion of the things she could do. 

 

When he had first drafted her from the IT department, he had mainly cared about her results - and there was no arguing with them! She was incredible and had proven herself a great asset to his team. She was smart, imaginative and resourceful – a pretty powerful cocktail, and one that he put to good use on a daily basis. But she had also become an integral part of the team and his daily operation – okay, who was he kidding? She was an integral part of his life really, and at this point he couldn’t imagine it without her. 

 

And now they had to have a talk about last night. It sounded like such a cliché, when you said it like that, he thought. And yet it had all been very innocent and should be easily cleared up. Only it didn’t feel simple at all! He was well aware that he had behaved most uncharacteristically last night – from the wine session, to showing up at her door step in the middle of the night (no need to mention the breaking-and-entering). And he probably owed her an explanation – possibly an apology, but he was finding it pretty difficult to come up with…anything really. And then there was this nagging feeling that something was really off with her. Somehow he just knew he wasn’t going to like what she had to say. 

 

Oliver sighed and walked to his desk, thinking that he could at least get a little work done while he worked up the nerve to talk to Felicity. (Not that he was scared of her or anything - of course not, but no sane man would take on that particular conversation with a woman without a plan). At least he could buy some time pretending to be dealing with urgent business matters. “Oh, come on”, he thought to himself, “This is just stupid”. What did he have to be afraid of really? This was Felicity! They talked all the time. Why was he suddenly nervous like a school boy trying to work up the courage to ask a girl to the prom? 

 

Besides, if there was something going on in her life, if something was bothering her, he needed to know – as her friend of course, he hastily added on, for the sake of that pesky little inner voice that kept reminding him how good it had felt to have her all to himself last night. And, it whispered persistently, how good it would feel to really be with her.

 

Stop! He told himself firmly. This line of thinking was SO off limits! Shaking his head, as if to rid himself of the unwelcome thoughts, he stood up again, and headed for her office. He had better get this over with right away, he thought, before he talked himself into doing something really stupid. Like …asking her out. 

Oliver stopped in the doorway and watched her at work, apparently in deep concentration. He couldn’t help but smile at her frown – she got the cutest little wrinkle in her forehead when she was concentrating on something. Funny how he suddenly noticed those little things… but not exactly relevant to the situation he quickly reminded himself, mentally gathering his boss/ friend/ not-at-all-thinking-about-you-naked persona around him. 

 

“Felicity do you have a minute?” he asked. “There’s something I’d like to talk to you about”. He rubbed his palms on his thighs suddenly worried that they might be sweaty. Now, why would that be a concern at all? he thought, exasperated at his own reaction. He watched as she got up and walked by him into his office, then he closed the door behind them and turned to face her. 

 

“Right, so I thought we should just, you know, finish that talk we didn’t really get to have last night…”he trailed off suddenly not really knowing how to start. She turned around and looked at him coolly. Crap! She was going to make him do the work here, wasn’t she? He could feel sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. Great! So this scrap of a girl – okay woman, no denying that – was actually intimidating him. He was used to facing down hard core criminals, hired mercenaries, terrorists of all kinds, and yet this 5’5” blond, with her sexy-librarian-glasses was making him all flustered. Unbelievable!   
***  
“Look, I’m really sorry,” he began, but then he seemed to run out of steam. Felicity watched him flounder for a few seconds, then decided it was time to take charge. 

 

”So, maybe you could fill me in on what actually happened last night?” she said. “And I don’t mean the assignment”, she added. “I mean, I get that we, you know… ‘got intimate’, and I know we need to talk about that – but I have to admit I don’t actually remember much after the wine and the couch…no offense”. She was trying very hard not to blush and look away, and almost succeeded when she caught the look on his face.

 

“What?” she said. “What’s wrong?” He looked completely taken aback, like that was the last thing he’d expected her to say. Oh crap, she thought. He’s offended because I don’t remember – men could be funny that way, she knew – but that was really the least of their problems, in her opinion.

 

“Got intimate!” he spluttered. “Is that what you think? You think I’d actually take advantage of you – of anyone – in that state?” He looked livid. “Wait, what?” she asked, “What state – what do you mean? If we didn’t... you know, then how did I end up naked in your bed?” Oh God she thought, please tell me I didn’t get drunk and strip naked in front of him! Please, please!!!

 

Now it was his turn to look a little sheepish, she noted. “Well”, he said, “That was what I was trying to apologize for. I mean, I know I crossed a line with the whole ‘undressing you’-thing – I shouldn’t have done that and I’m sorry, but in my defense I had no idea how long I was going to be gone or how long you were going to stay passed out, so I just figured you’d be more comfortable in bed.” He looked at her, a little pleadingly she thought. “And I promise you, I never peeked!” he added hastily. 

 

So he had only undressed her and put her to bed! Nothing else. Not even a kiss? How utterly embarrassing! Had he at least sneaked a peek (she would have kind of liked that) - but this! This was horrible. She knew she wasn’t his type – not that she was sure what his type was. She’d seen him with lots of women before, but hadn’t really been able to detect a type. Unless of course you considered ‘beautiful’ a type, she thought deprecatingly. 

 

But for him to strip her practically naked and not even find her interesting enough to take a closer look? She might as well grab her bag and leave right now. He was clearly never going to see her as anything other than the slightly geeky girl who performed magic with computers!

 

“Oh!” she said, “well, I guess that’s all right – no need to apologize for that really. I just figured, you know..when I couldn’t remember…” She looked at the floor for a second. Then out the window, wondering where to go from here.

 

“So are we good, then?” he asked, clearly eager to get over the awkward part. Felicity looked at him – and decided that no, they weren’t good. In fact, they weren’t anything at all. She wanted to move forward, and in order to do that she needed clarity. 

 

Resolutely she took a step forward and looked up into his (way too handsome) face. He looked back, clearly at a loss as to what she was doing. She reached up, took his face firmly in both hands and pulled him down – and kissed him! She closed her eyes as she pressed her lips to his, not thinking, just reveling in the feeling of him, his lips, soft, yet firm, the feel of stubble on his cheeks, his smell…For a few seconds he didn’t do anything. Then she felt him kissing her back. His hand came up to cradle the back of her head, and he angled his head slightly in order to deepen the kiss. Lips parted, tounges brushing, breaths mingled. She heard herself moan softly…and then it was over. He had pulled back and was looking away from her, breathing heavily. His hand was still in her hair as if he’d forgotten about it.

 

She realized she was staring at him, completely unable to think of anything to say. It had been a spur of the moment decision to kiss him, but the intensity of it – the heat that had exploded between them – had taken her by surprise. All she had wanted to do was show him, make him understand, that she wanted more from him than just friendship. That he didn’t have to apologize for putting her to bed – that frankly, she wouldn’t mind if he did it again sometime! But she hadn’t expected this! 

 

He looked back at her, seeming to have gained some control again, and realizing that his hand was still entangled in her hair. He stepped back, releasing her, and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry”, he said again. “I don’t know what came over me – that won’t happen again.”

 

“You’re sorry?” she said, glad to find that her voice still worked. ”I kissed you! Why would you apologize for that? And just for the record, I wasn’t upset about the possibility that something had happened between us last night. I was upset that I couldn’t remember! Because I’ve wanted something to happen – for a really long time now. But you don’t seem to want that – with me, or with anyone. So tell me, has it ever occurred to you? Have you ever even thought about it?”, Felicity was aware that she was talking in her loud voice now, but she couldn’t seem to reign in her temper now that she had started. She’d been carrying all these emotions around for too long.  
Oliver looked completely stunned, but also a little pleased she thought. But then, as she was watching him, she saw him regain control of his emotions, saw him close his eyes, shake his head, and square his shoulders. And when he opened his eyes to look at her again, all she could see was determination.

“Look, Felicity”, he said. “You know I care for you – actually it’s more than that. A lot more. But the thing is, I just don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be in a relationship with anyone as long as I’m doing what I do – it’s too dangerous, and I wouldn’t want to risk it. Particularly not with someone that I really care for”. He looked at her gravely, and as if what he’d just said made complete sense. 

 

Well, he was wrong! she thought. It was a load of BS and to her it sounded an awful lot like a well rehearsed excuse designed to let women down gently. So, back to plan A then, she thought. I need to leave – like right now!

 

“Okay”, she said. “Duly noted. Won’t happen again.” She took a step back and was about to turn on her heel and walk out. “Just one more thing, though”, she said, turning back. “I’ll be handing in my resignation by the end of the day.”  
***  
“It’s really nothing Dig”, she said. They were at the diner just down the road from the office, having lunch – or in Felicity’s case: pushing food around a plate, trying to find space in her tightly knotted stomach for something other than butterflies. ”I just have a lot on my mind lately. Personal stuff, you know?” She shrugged and smiled, trying to pass it off as inconsequential. Dig wasn’t buying it, though. She could tell by the way he scrutinized her. “Is this about Oliver?” he asked, as always uncomfortably perceptive. 

 

“You know, Felicity, he may not say it, but he really does care for you. You know that, right?” he said, looking at her earnestly. Dig was one of the few people who knew how she really felt about Oliver. Not that she had flat out told him – that would be kind of weird, she thought, inappropriate even, considering that Oliver was her boss and all. But it hadn’t been necessary to say anything. In fact, it had been kind of hard to hide her feelings from Dig. She’d probably not always been able to hide how much it worried her when Oliver was doing something dangerous (which happened on a daily basis) or even worse – when he was dating (which thankfully happened less frequently). Okay, so there was no ‘probably’ about it, she thought. Dig knew! 

 

She swallowed, and smiled a wobbly little smile. “I guess”, she said. “I just think it’s time to move on, you know? He may care for me - the same way he cares for all of us – but you know he doesn’t do relationships, and…well, I do” she finished abruptly. “And I just think it might be better for both of us if I cut my losses and try to make a fresh start. Before things get awkward”, she added. 

 

Dig just looked at her. For a long time! In the end she had to avert her gaze, afraid that she was going to blurt out the whole embarrassing truth. That She’d practically offered herself up on a silver platter – and he’d politely declined! “Look, it really isn’t that big a deal”, she said, “I was kind of looking for a change anyway. You know, try something new – maybe travel for a while…?” she trailed off, knowing full well that he wasn’t about to believe that. 

 

“What happened, Felicity?” he asked in that super-calm, quiet tone of voice he always used when he meant to take to no BS from anyone. Odd, Felicity thought, how that could be so effective – maybe she should study up on that. It was quite fascinating really. And now even her thoughts were babbling, she realized. Just to avoid answering the dreaded question. “Felicity?” he asked again. 

 

“Nothing, okay?” she said. “Nothing happened. Not really. It was just the usual. I thought we had a moment – he didn’t. End of story. Except this time I think it has to be the end-end. I’m done with this. I shouldn’t be wasting my time on a man who’s not ever going to be interested. Not even if that man is Oliver”. She sat back, suddenly exhausted, and let out a trembling sigh. “Dig, it’s impossible. I’m being pathetic and I hate that! I’m not a pathetic kind of person – I won’t be like that”, she finished, determination creeping back into her voice. 

 

“You know, loving someone is never pathetic, Felicity”, he said. “It all depends on what you do about it. Now, what exactly are you planning on doing? You’re not actually going to run away because of some misunderstanding between you two, are you?” The obvious concern in his voice was killing her. He really was like the big brother that she had never had, she thought.

 

The sound of an up-beat pop song signaling an incoming call from – of all people – her mother interrupted the conversation. “Sorry Dig,” she said as she fished the phone out of her purse. “I need to take this”. She scooted out of the booth and he watched as she walked to the hallway leading to the washrooms.


	3. Road-trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity makes her escape, making Oliver realize that he has really messed up this time - and that he needs to find her..and quickly!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's mom is introduced - I love her so sorry if she's allowed a little more stage-time here than on the show!!! :-)

Chapter 3  
Road trip

Felicity found a quiet corner in the hallway to take the call from her mother. This was going to require a fair amount of acting on her part she knew, and unfortunately lying wasn’t her strong suit. She took a deep breath and pressed the accept-button.

“Hi Mom,” she said, trying to sound bright and chipper. “Honeeeeey,” her mom squealed. “Oh, baby, I was SO thrilled to get your message. Are you coming home for a visit? I’ve missed you so much. I’d love it if you could stay for a while. How much time are they giving you off? Will we have time to do a mother-daughter-spa-retreat you think? Or anything you want to do, we could..” 

“MOM!” Felicity practically yelled in order to stop the verbal avalanche that was her mother in full gush-mode. 

“Mom,” she repeated in her normal voice. “I’m not really sure for how long – it might be for a while. I’ve got some vacation time saved up, and I really need a break, so…” she trailed off, not knowing exactly how to explain the situation to her mother over the phone. There was no way she was getting into all the gory details of her broken heart with her mother. 

“Anyway” she hurried on before her mother could launch into another ‘I’ll stop-for-nothing-not-even-breath-monologue’. “I was thinking I’d catch the evening flight out, and if you could take a little time off too, maybe we could do a mother-daughter road trip?” Felicity tried to sound up-beat and excited, but even to her it sounded fake.

There was an uncharacteristically long pause on the other end. “Honey, is everything all right?” her mother said. Clearly her mom-radar had picked up on Felicity’s mood. Felicity sighed silently. 

“Sure, mom” she said. “I’m just exhausted and I really, really need a vacation – I need to get away from…everything” Felicity finished lamely, holding her breath as she waited for her mother to reply. 

“Well, I would just LOVE to go on a road-trip with my baby girl,” her mother finally said, sounding as enthusiastic as ever. “Don’t you worry about a thing, Honey. I’ll make all the arrangements. Just get yourself on a plane and I’ll pick you up at the airport.” 

Felicity shuddered at the thought of her mom taking charge of ‘everything’, but decided to let it slide. She’d deal with it when she got there, she thought. First she had to pick up her stuff at the office – and avoid Oliver. Then go home and pack – and not think about Oliver. And finally, get that one way ticket out of here! 

***

“Oh, crap” Oliver thought watching Dig stride purposefully into the office. “He knows.” (And Dig obviously didn’t approve). 

Dig stopped in front of his desk, clearly in combat mode. Feet planted wide, arms crossed over his chest, eye brows raised questioningly. He didn’t speak, and for a second Oliver contemplated waiting him out. He quickly dismissed the idea. He knew full well that Dig wasn’t going to let this go. Resigned, Oliver squared his shoulders prepared for battle.

“I take it that look means you’ve talked to Felicity” he sighed. 

“Yes,” Dig said. “I did. Oliver, what the heck is going on, man?”

“You talked to her – you know what happened.” Oliver replied a little defensively. “She resigned.”

“And what exactly did you do?” Dig asked. 

“I refused to accept it, of course” Oliver said. Dig just stared at him for a while longer. 

“Okay, so I told her to take a leave of absence” Oliver finally relented, well aware that wasn’t what Dig had wanted to know. “I told her to take as much time as she needed, and that we would talk about it when she comes back,” he finished with the air of a man who’s just found a solution to world hunger.

“Oliver, you do know that she may never come back?” Dig asked, not at all impressed by Oliver’s apparent bravado. “She handed in her resignation”, he continued, stressing every word. “Whether you accept it or not, that girl may be gone for good, man.”

Oliver didn’t reply. He just stared out the window as if looking for divine inspiration in the city skyline. “I don’t accept that Dig,” he finally said, quiet determination in his voice. “I need her – we need her here.”

“I don’t disagree” Dig said. “But you might want to get this thing straight in your head Oliver. Which is it? Are you saying that we – that the company – need her? Or are you saying that you need her?” 

“Same thing,” Oliver said with a shrug, aiming for ‘nonchalant’, but succeeding only in ‘helpless puppy’. 

“No man,” Dig said. “It really isn’t.” 

Then he turned on his heel and marched out of the office. Oliver got the distinct impression that had he been able to, Dig would have slammed the door on his way out. But the doors being big, heavy, glass doors made that gesture impossible. Thankfully. 

***

Oliver got up and walked to the windows considering what Dig had said. 

Dig was right of course, about Felicity not coming back. He knew he was fooling himself about that leave of absence thing. But he was also serious about not letting her disappear. That was just unacceptable (he wasn’t going to examine the reason for that further – it just was!). 

And it was just possible, that Dig might be right about that other thing too, he thought. That this…situation, was about so much more than losing a skilled employee. After all, if that was all, he wouldn’t be feeling like this, would he? The thought of her gone for good wouldn’t be making his blood run cold and his insides curl up and die. Like he had somehow withered and petrified all at the same time. 

“Way to go Queen” he said to himself. “As if falling for her wasn’t bad enough, you just had to go and ruin your friendship too – and to finish off your self-destruction you run her off to God knows where! Nice work!” He felt the need to punch something – probably himself he thought, but the dummy in the gym below would have to do. Maybe that would clear his head a little. 

He turned towards the elevator but stopped dead in his tracks as his mental ramblings caught up with him. What was that again? Had he just acknowledged to himself that he had fallen for Felicity? Oliver hardly dared breathe as he sorted through emotions, trying to make sense of everything that had happened the last few days.

Oh God, how had he let this happen? He groaned. She had always been a close friend. Right from the start they’d had a certain undeniable connection – chemistry you might call it. He’d always enjoyed how easily they seemed to understand each other and communicate even without talking. She had this way about her – she could make fun of him or openly disagree with him, yet it never bothered him. He actually liked it. 

And of course there was no denying the physical attraction, which had gotten him into so much trouble last night and again this morning. For a second he felt heat rising up his neck at the memory of her in his bed. Then he quickly filed away those images – sealed them up for good, he thought. He never let himself fall for anyone. Ever. It wasn’t safe. So how could he not have noticed that he’d crossed that line with her? 

He suddenly saw the morning’s encounter with Felicity in a very different light. He replayed the conversation in his mind – and that kiss! Mmm…that kiss…it had taken him completely by surprise and he had simply responded without thinking. He’d kissed her back, like he’d imagined kissing her a thousand times over the past three years. Only it had been even better than he’d ever thought it would be. She had tasted so good, and the feel of her body pressed against his…he’d fought SO hard not to give in to his urges and ignore the fact that they were essentially standing in a glass box on full display for anyone who happened to walk by. She had made a small sound – like a soft moan – and it had almost pushed him over the edge, but he had managed to reign in his desire and pull away.

And he had actually been proud of that! Okay, now he really needed to punch himself! He had turned her down, and without really explaining why… No wonder she’d left. He deserved to be fed to the dogs! Except he didn’t have any and he would much rather find Felicity and make amends (in any way she pleased, he vowed, momentarily distracted by thoughts of how she might decide to exact her punishment.). Shaking his head to get back on track, he grabbed his phone and headed for the elevators again. He really hoped he wasn’t too late!

***

Felicity was seriously considering faking a broken leg just so she could escape to some nice, quiet hospital-ward for a few hours. But she grudgingly dismissed the idea, realizing that her mom would still be all over her (and all over the doctor if he was single!). She rolled her eyes at the images that thought evoked! 

Anyway, this was what she had wanted, she reminded herself. Well, maybe not what she really wanted, but it was after all her own idea not only to do a road trip, but to invite her mother along for the ride. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. It would be a distraction from her heartache, and a chance to strengthen the new bond between them. And if it just happened to make her that much harder for anyone to track down – so much the better!

But she should have known this would back-fire. She sighed and turned to see if her mother was done flirting with the balding man in the horrible polyester shirt, who was walking her through the rental agreement on the car.

Her mom had been waiting for her last night as she entered the arrivals hall at the airport. She had been jumping up and down in excitement, when she saw Felicity push through the revolving doors. Felicity had let her mom drag her into a ten-minute hug. She wasn’t one for public displays of affection, but she had to admit it had felt nice to be wanted. To be missed. 

They had spent the night at her mother’s house, chatting and catching up, ordering thai food and having a real girl’s night in. Felicity had felt renewed hope that this would turn out to be exactly the right thing to do, even if she had to dodge a lot of probing questions from her mother, who clearly sensed that something was off. 

But this morning, as they were getting ready to leave for the rental place to pick up the car, things had started unraveling. 

First, her mother had plopped down a two-ton suitcase and an only slightly smaller beauty-box next to Felicity’s small, practical, cabin-approved trolley. Felicity had stared at them and silently hoped that her mother had had the sense not to rent an Italian sports car with a shoe box-sized booth. They were going to need something big and American, she thought. 

Then she’d taken a closer look at her mother and realized that they must have gotten their wires crossed about the nature of this trip. Either that or her mother’s idea of ‘casual wear’ was in fact a hot pink body con dress, with a dangerously low cut neck line, teamed with a pair of insanely high, strappy, sandals. 

“Uh, mom” Felicity had said, “Maybe you should consider something a little more comfortable? It’s not like we’re going clubbing – we’re going on a road-trip. I mean, how do three-inch heels count as ‘practical’? Unless of course by practical you mean that they double as a weapon if we get mugged!”

Her mother had just rolled her eyes and laughed. “I’ll have you know that these sandals happen to be super comfortable – and they have been known to help me charm hotel concierges to let me in after hours.” Her mother had winked and happily continued stuffing things in to her already over-flowing hand bag. 

And now, here they were – not even on the road yet, and she was already regretting this whole plan. She was seriously beginning to worry that she’d end up dumping her mother in some motel in the mid west and head for the hills in their ‘deluxe town car’-rental just to escape with her sanity intact. 

For a second she thought longingly of her office, her beloved computers and all the work she had to do …no, that SOMEONE ELSE would have to do, she reminded herself. And then she thought of Oliver. The painful squeeze of her heart that immediately followed helped remind her why she was doing what she was doing. “That’s it!” she thought. “Enough with the self–pity – time to go and enjoy myself.”

Resolutely she marched over to her mother and took over finalizing the documents with Polyester-man, suddenly very eager to get going. 

***

Oliver took the elevator back up-stairs feeling murderous and helpless at the same time. 

He had tried calling Felicity about a thousand times only to get her voicemail every time. He’d tried activating the simple tracking device he’d had her install in all of their phones, only to discover that she had – of course – disabled hers. He’d even driven by her apartment and – once again – broken in, to search for clues as to where she’d gone. Finally he’d enlisted the help of the IT-department to try and track down his wayward PA, but so far without any luck. 

He had discovered that she had taken out a large amount of cash earlier that day, and had apparently paid for whatever mode of transport she was using in cash, making her virtually untraceable. The irony wasn’t lost on him. Naturally someone with Felicity’s skill in tracking people would be equally skilled in avoiding being tracked herself! 

This was absolutely infuriating – and to make matters worse, he’d just gotten a call from a client, about a potential threat. The client was a huge research and development company specializing in bio-chemicals. They had been alerted to an infiltration in their organization and were requesting Queen Security’s special brand of preventative measures.

Oliver really needed to concentrate on that. And he needed his team focused on it – including Felicity. But right now, he didn’t HAVE Felicity - and his own mind was a scattered mess! 

He needed to find her! He paced his office trying to come up with anything that could give him a hint about her location. Every ten minutes or so he kept dialing her number – not really expecting her to pick up but feeling the need to try anyway. 

He went through a mental checklist of people who might know where she was - her friends and family. The last one was pretty short he realized. Basically it was just her and her mother as far as he knew. He somehow sensed that she wouldn’t go to any of the friends that he knew about – and that left only her mother. 

He’d met Donna a few months ago, and had instantly liked the woman. She was warm, affectionate and very…colorful, was probably a good way to describe her, he thought. And she had a very useful habit of not thinking too much before talking, so if she knew anything about where Felicity was hiding out, chances were he could get it out of her. 

Resolutely he found her number – conveniently included in the back ground file he’d originally compiled on Felicity before asking her to join his team.

Without hesitation he sat down and punched in the numbers. 

***

“Donna?” Oliver said when he heard the phone connect. “Hi, this is Oliver – Oliver Queen? I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me. I’m trying to get a hold of Felicity, but she’s not answering her phone, and…well, it’s kind of an emergency” he finished. Oliver held his breath, waiting for Donna to reply.

“Mr. Queen” Donna replied in a somewhat frosty tone, he thought. “Yeah, I know who you are. And it just so happens I do know where my daughter is,” she continued. “She’s on ‘vacation’.” He could practically hear the quotation-marks in Donna’s voice. 

Donna didn’t leave him room to jump into the conversation, but carried on without pausing for breath. “I also know that something isn’t right with her at the moment. She won’t tell me what’s going on, but I’m her mother and it is obvious that something is bothering her.”

Oliver had a sinking sensation in his stomach as he quickly lost control of the conversation with Felicity’s mother.

“Now,” Donna said. “I think you and I both know that Felicity isn’t really on vacation, is she? I think she’s running away from something, and that ‘something’ is looking very much like a broken heart to me. And, Mr. Queen, if she’s not taking your calls, something tells me that you have everything to do with my baby’s heartbreak. So tell me, why would I want to help you?” 

Oliver felt like he’d taken a punch to the gut. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He had to get this woman to help. He had to fix this. 

“Donna,” he tried again. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea. You’re absolutely right about her not being on vacation. I mean, she is – but...it’s a long story. It’s all a big misunderstanding.” He searched desperately for something that would make Donna believe him. “Look,” he pleaded, “it was certainly never my intention to hurt her – in fact it’s just the opposite. I care a great deal for your daughter, and I’m just trying to protect her.” He trailed off. 

There was a pause on the other end.

“You know, Oliver,” Donna finally said,”I don’t know much about what it is you do at that company of yours, but I do know that it can be dangerous. I also know that my daughter is extremely capable and that she has chosen to be part of your venture. I respect her choice even if I worry about her, and you should too.” Oliver noticed with relief that she sounded a little less hostile. It hadn’t escaped him either, that she’d reverted to calling him by his first name. 

“You say you want to protect her? Well, I know my daughter, and I’m willing to bet that given the choice, she’d choose the danger over the heartbreak any day” Donna continued. 

Oliver was silent, trying to get his head around what Donna was saying. Every instinct told him to do whatever he had to, to protect Felicity from harm – but what if he was actually the one causing it? Was that any better? 

 

“Donna,” Oliver finally said, aware of the desperation in his voice. “Please, tell me where I can find her – I really need to talk to her, to clear up this… misunderstanding.”

Donna didn’t immediately reply and Oliver started to worry that she was going to refuse.

“Well,” she finally said. “I do actually think that the two of you need to talk this out. My baby girl needs that – even if she won’t thank me for it at first. So for that reason alone, I’ll tell you where we are. But Oliver, you better make this right with her or I swear you’ll find out what an angry mother can do with a pair of three inch stilettos and a hand-full of acrylic nails!” 

Too relieved to laugh at her threat (and not entirely sure she wasn’t serious), Oliver jotted down the address she gave him, thanked her and disconnected.

***

Felicity was curled up under the covers on one of the twin beds in the dark motel room. She had given up on actually falling asleep. She had told her mother that she was exhausted, and her mother had immediately sent her off to bed, announcing that she was going to the indoor pool to maybe go for a swim. Which in reality, Felicity suspected, meant that she was going to hang out in the bar till she found someone to talk to. Her mother didn’t really do ‘alone’ she had discovered. But she had a natural talent for making friends so it wasn’t really an issue. 

Meanwhile Felicity was left alone to wallow – which is exactly what she was doing, when she heard the door opening softly. She was facing the back wall, her back to the door, and decided to pretend to be asleep, to avoid explaining her tear-streaked face to her mother. She wasn’t ready for that conversation yet. 

Forcing herself to breathe deeply, Felicity listened to the sounds of her mother tip-toeing closer to the bed. She felt the mattress shift as her mother leaned over her to check that she was sleeping. She expected to feel the weight lift and to hear her mother move away again, but in stead she felt the mattress give further, and the heat of another body through the covers, as her mother sat on the edge of her bed. Felicity kept her eyes squeezed shot and concentrated on her breathing.

She felt a hand softly stroke her hair, and relaxed a little. It was nice having her mother around, she thought. 

“Felicity, I know you’re awake” a voice said – a man’s voice. Felicity’s eyes flew open, and she sat up so fast she made herself dizzy. It was too dark to see clearly, but she had no trouble recognizing that voice – or even the silhouette. Oliver. 

“What are you doing here?” she cried, outraged. “You almost gave me a heart-attack! Did you just pick the lock to my room? You know you’re developing a really creepy habit there! How did you even know where to find me? Does my mother know you’re here?” as Felicity heard herself ask that last question she shut up, before she risked reverting to complete teenage-mode. Thank God it was too dark in the room for him see that she was blushing furiously right now. 

She felt him shift a little on the bed, and had the impression he was trying very hard not to laugh. 

“Seriously Oliver” she said. “What’s going on?”

He sighed and reached for her hand. For a second she thought about pulling it away, but then she got lost in the feel of his warm hand enveloping hers, his thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand, his fingers lacing themselves with hers. She looked down and just sat there, waiting for him to speak.

“Felicity,” he said again. “We need to talk. I shouldn’t have let you go like that and I really want you to reconsider – to come back. We need you – I need…” he broke off as the headlights of a car pulling into the parking lot lit up her face for second. “Are you crying?” he asked, suddenly sounding appalled. 

Before she could move, his hand was on her face, cupping her cheek, and without thinking she leaned into it with a small sigh. He mumbled something that sounded very much like a string of swearwords, and then his lips were on hers. 

There was no hesitation, no restraint, as her lips opened for his, and she leaned into him. His hand was still cupping her face, and she felt his other arm snake around her waist, pulling her in closer. She didn’t think, she just gave in to the sensations – just like in the office her reaction was nuclear! Her breath came in shallow gasps, her hands tangled in his hair. She felt him shift slightly, pushing her back on the pillows, without releasing his hold on her. She held on tight, bringing him with her, unwilling to let go even for a minute. He stretched out on the bed laying half on top of her, tracing kisses along her jaw line, down the side of her neck. Felicity traced the muscles in his back, slid her hands under the hem of his t-shirt to feel his warm skin, the firm muscle, the slightly raised skin along one of his scars. She felt him shudder as she involuntarily arched up into him when he kissed a particularly sensitive spot below her ear. 

At some level she was aware that there was a reason why this was a bad idea, but she couldn’t for the life of her remember what that was, and dismissed it as unimportant.

Then he kissed her again, and she stopped thinking altogether.


	4. Rain check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver tracks down Felicity and tries to persuade her to return - she agrees to come back, but only for the two weeks notice she's contractually bound to.
> 
> This bit has a little fooling around, a bit more MamaSmoak and en office-fight between Oliver and Felicity..that'll lead to more fun...:-)

Felicity was vaguely aware of a knocking sound, but decided it wasn’t important. She was kissing Oliver. He was kissing her, touching her... She really wasn’t the least bit interested in the world outside of this motel room right now. 

She succeeded in peeling off his shirt and was running her hands freely over his bare chest. His scars and tattoos were only dimly visible in the darkened room, but she knew them very well by now. She’d seen him practice his martial arts and do his workouts – shirtless - more times than she could count. And the sight of a shirtless Oliver working out was not something a girl would easily forget. She’d often thought about how it would feel to touch him. The hard muscles, the scars – in her weaker moments she’d thought about tracing those tattoos with her fingers, her tongue… And now she was touching him and she didn’t plan on stopping any time soon!

Oliver pushed the strap of her cami off her left shoulder, following its path with his lips, leaving a trail of hot kisses from her neck to shoulder. Felicity sighed and shifted to give him better access to her neck. She was completely wrapped up in the sensation of the glide of warm, soft, lips followed by the rasp of his stubble over her skin. 

She managed to ignore the knocking for a few more seconds, but eventually Oliver seemed to register the intrusion too and lifted his head reluctantly. Felicity moaned in protest, but the knocking intensified to the point where it was no longer possible to ignore it. Oliver looked down at her – still pinning her to the bed with his weight. 

“Are you expecting company” he asked, “or is it possible your mother called the cops on me?” 

Felicity rolled her eyes at him, but realized that it was probably too dark for him to see the gesture. “No, I’m not expecting anyone”, she said, “and my mom wouldn’t bother with all the knocking. I wouldn’t put it past her to hire a group of cheer-leaders to spur us on, though!” she mumbled as an afterthought.”

“Well,” Oliver said sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed in one smooth motion. “There’s only one way to find out.” He walked to the door and peered through the peeping hole to check who was outside. 

“Some middle-aged guy in a very loud shirt and Donald Trump-hair”, he said questioningly looking back at Felicity. “Does that ring a bell?”

“Not at all,” she said, “But dollars to donuts it’s one of my mother’s admirers who’s been crafty enough to figure out her room number.” She sighed audibly, located her glasses on the bedside table and put them on before joining him at the door. 

“Allow me” he said with an amused smirk. He took a second to rearrange his features into his most menacing ‘don’t mess with me’-face. Then he flung open the door and faced down the noisy gentleman caller with an icy stare. 

For a minute there was only silence (finally! Felicity thought) while the Donald Trump-look alike took in Oliver’s bare chest, the scars and tattoos, his obvious muscle power. ‘Donald’ apparently reached the conclusion that Oliver was trouble and most likely dangerous, and immediately started apologizing profusely. ‘He was so sorry for the disturbance, a misunderstanding, wrong room number, was looking for a lady friend – obviously not the right room, so sorry sir, will just be on my way.’ He babbled on until Oliver closed the door quietly but firmly. Oliver hadn’t uttered a word. 

He turned around and grinned mischievously at Felicity. He looked more light-hearted than she’d ever seen him before. In fact he looked like a naughty school boy, she thought, and not like the successful head of a security company. And, she noted with a small sigh, ‘naughty school boy’ looked really, really good on Oliver Queen!

“I guess he had the wrong room”, Oliver said with a small laugh. “I hope your mother wasn’t too hooked on getting to know the guy. But if you ask me she’s better off without him. He scared way too easily”. 

Felicity couldn’t help but laugh at his sudden playfulness. He didn’t let that side of him show very often. 

“Well, I doubt she’ll miss him,” she said. “We’ve only been here for a day so it’s not exactly a long term relationship yet”. 

“But now that you mention it,” she added with a small frown, “where IS my mother? I assume she knows you’re here? I mean how else would you have found me?” ‘And just like that I spoiled the mood completely’, Felicity thought as she mentally kicked herself – hard!

“Yeah, about that,” Oliver said, an uncomfortable note in his voice. “I guess I kind of skipped the intro just now,” he said with a nervous smile. “The thing is I’ve been trying to find you for the past two days - ever since you walked out of the office, actually. I’ve been calling, leaving messages, but I guess your phone was off.” He looked at her with a slightly hurt expression, but she decided not to offer up any explanations just yet.

“So I reached out to your mother,” he continued, ”to see if she had any idea how I might get in touch with you – she told me you guys were on a road trip and where you’d be tonight.” 

Felicity kept quiet, waiting for him to go on.

“To be fair,” he said, “she didn’t want to help me at first. She yelled at me – which I absolutely deserved,” he quickly added. “Honestly Felicity, I’m not even sure why she finally decided to help me. But I’m glad that she did. I hated the way we left things the other day. I know I can’t make you come back to Queen Security if you don’t want to, but I really hope you’ll reconsider. Coming back, I mean.” He finally ran out of steam and just stood there for a moment, looking lost. 

“Is that it?” Felicity asked, suddenly very aware of a sinking feeling in her gut, and her heart giving a painful squeeze in her chest. “You tracked me down just to say that you wanted me to come back to work?” 

He looked at her uncertainly, clearly aware that he had somehow committed a very serious faux pas, but - just as obviously - not sure what it was. 

Felicity groaned in exasperation. 

“Seriously?” she asked, her voice getting louder. “The other day I kissed you, and told you that I wanted more, to which you replied that ‘it’s too dangerous - it can never happen’”. She was mocking him now. “But then you show up here and practically crawl into bed with me! And now you’re just all business again? Oliver, what am I supposed to think? What do you want from me? Because honestly? You’re sending out a lot of very mixed signals right now!” She was working up to a pretty formidable rage and it felt good! At least it felt better than the slow tearing of her heart, she thought. 

“Look” he said. “I know I was wrong to kiss you just now – and...well, the touching and getting into bed with you and...” He looked awfully cute in his embarrassment she noted, but quickly pushed that thought aside – she was angry, and she had a right to be! 

“I did come here to talk to you” he continued. “I just couldn’t help it, when I saw you looking so sad, and sleepy, and warm..and – did I say warm?” 

He pulled himself up short, cleared his throat and tried again. 

“What I’m trying to say Felicity, is that I’m sorry for the way I acted back at the office. You really took me by surprise and I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings – I care for you, you know I do. A lot. And I really, really want you to come back. To the team” He looked serious but somehow also very unsure of himself too. “And to me” he added quietly.

Felicity looked at him for a long moment, considering his words. 

“What does that mean exactly, Oliver?” she finally asked. “Why do you want me to come back to you? Do you miss my IT-expertise? My superb scheduling-skills? Do you miss me as your friend? What, Oliver?”

He ran his fingers through his hair and groaned in frustration. “Felicity,” he said, “I’ve told you how I feel about relationships. Why I avoid them. It’s not a good idea, doing what I do. It’s too dangerous, and I can’t put someone that I really care about in that kind of danger. I won’t. Can’t we just go back to the way things were? We’re friends, aren’t we? I mean, I know what just happened – and what happened at the office - It’s a little outside friend territory.” He gulped audibly. “But I don’t want to lose you. I need you in my life Felicity.” 

Felicity stared at him for a second as his words sunk in. She felt like she’d had all the air knocked out of her. ‘Please God, don’t let me cry, don’t let me cry,’ she silently prayed as she tried to retrieve some of the anger. No dice. He obviously hadn’t changed his mind about the two of them, and Felicity just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. 

“Well,” she finally managed, “that’s too bad, because I won’t put my life on hold until you decide it’s ‘safe’ to have people in your life again. But I guess I do owe you my two week’s notice, now that you’ve decided that my resignation is in fact a resignation – not a vacation request! So you can expect me back in the office on Monday. But Oliver, it’s two weeks only. Then I’m out for good.”  
***  
“Honey, I know you are a genius when it comes to all that techy stuff that you do – and I know I don’t understand even a fraction of it,” Donna said. “But when it comes to people, I’m actually pretty smart myself. And when it comes to the people that I love, I’m damn near a genius too.”

The two of them were in the small café next to the motel having a late breakfast. Donna was busy working her way through a heaping plate of eggs and fruit while grilling Felicity about what happened between her and Oliver last night. 

Felicity was cradling a steaming mug of coffee, fending off her mother’s probing question, and trying to keep up a reasonably happy face. Her pancakes sat untouched on her plate. 

“You’ve clearly fallen pretty hard for Oliver,” Donna continued. “It’s obvious that you love him, Honey.” Donna smiled and clapped her hands in happy excitement. Felicity didn’t share her enthusiasm.   
Donna looked at her for a second with that special ‘mom-sees-all’-look that Felicity had never been able to hide from. 

“Felicity,” she said. “You may not see it right now, but believe me, Oliver is so head over heels for you too, he can hardly remember his own name when you walk into the room! You’re both so obviously crazy about each other – it’s almost embarrassing to watch!” 

Her mother gave her an encouraging wink and smiled. “So what I don’t understand is what is keeping you two apart?” she said. “I was hoping you’d have solved it last night – that’s why I told him where to find us, you know.” 

 

Felicity sighed. “Mom, I just really don’t understand him sometimes. I’m not sure what he feels, but he definitely doesn’t want to be with me. He made that perfectly clear last night. So I guess your love-radar is off this time.” She managed a wobbly smile, but didn’t for a second think she could fool her mom. 

“Oh, Honey, I’m so sorry” her mom said. “I mean, I know I’m not wrong about you two, but I am sorry you didn’t work things out. But you will – I’m sure whatever it is can be fixed.”

“Not this time mom,” Felicity said. “Like I said, he isn’t interested. So I’ve made my decision. I’m going to cut my losses and move on. I’ve handed in my resignation, and in two weeks time I’ll be a very available IT-specialist. Know anyone who’s hiring?” she finished in an attempt at a joke.

“Oh no, sweetie, are you sure about this?” her mom asked. “I mean, I’m sure you’ll find a new job in a heartbeat, but you love it there – and not just because of Oliver.” 

“I’m sure mom. You’re right, I do love my job and I know I’ll miss it like crazy – and my friends there too. But you see, you’re also right about me being in love with him. And that’s exactly why I can’t be around him every day. I’ll wind up in a constant limbo and I don’t want to be one of those pathetic people who spend their life waiting for something that’ll never happen!” Felicity felt the tears coming on, but refused to give into them.

Her mother scooted out of the booth and came round to Felicity’s side of the table. “Move over Honey,” she said softly as she slid into next to Felicity. She put her arms around her in a tight hug. 

“You do what you have to sweetie,” she said. “Just promise me that you won’t write him off completely just yet. Give him a chance to miss you. After all he was pretty desperate to find you this time.”

“Yeah!” Felicity snorted. “Because he needs me at the office. And that reminds me – I’m really sorry to do this mom, but I’m going to have to cut our trip short. I have to be back at work on Monday – but maybe we could do a real trip once my two week’s notice is up? Rain-check?” she asked hopefully – and a little surprised to discover she actually meant it. 

“Anytime, Honey” her mom said and hugged her again.

***

Oliver was confused. Actually, he was pretty much completely lost at sea, clueless, in the dark, and 100% unable to explain even to himself how things had gone so wrong.

 

Just a few days ago everything had been fine. Normal. He had his trusty team all lined up like ducks in a row, ready to protect their clients and fight evil wherever necessary. 

 

But then – in the space of one night – his nicely ordered world seemed to have come undone. And every attempt to fix things since then just seemed to get him into more trouble. And by ‘things’ he meant his relationship with Felicity. And by ‘trouble’ he meant said relationship going to hell. 

 

Oliver growled in frustration as he got up from the couch in his living room, where he was trying to catch up on work. 

 

He knew he had messed up his attempt to convince her to come back. He’d been so sure he could talk sense to her, once he’d tracked her down. But he couldn’t explain how he’d lost it so completely in that motel room. For crying out loud - he’d been seconds from having full on sex with her! ‘Way to go Queen!’ He thought to himself. He’d meant to sit down and have a quiet talk with her, find out what could be done to fix the situation and then get it done. 

 

Instead, he’d found her crying in bed – and there was just no way he could NOT try and console her. Of course, he didn’t usually console upset friends by kissing them, undressing them, falling into bed with them, losing himself in their soft skin, their hot kisses, getting tangled up in their long, blond hair and forgetting time and place over the way they tasted…

 

Okay, STOP! He told himself. He was out of control – and he did not EVER lose control. There was no denying that he was attracted to her. As in ‘can’t-walk-straight-when-you’re-near’-attracted! And he also acknowledged to himself that he felt a lot more than just physical attraction. He had made the ultimate mistake and fallen in love. He shuddered. Not a smart move for a man in his position. But it didn’t mean he had to be a slave to those feelings, he decided. He could control himself. He could be friends with her, work with her, and things could go back to normal. He was sure of it (at least as long as she didn’t cry in front of him).

 

He just had to make her see that that was the right thing to do. And make her agree to stay. That was non-negotiable. He needed her here. He wasn’t about to let her go. He may not be willing to risk a relationship that could put her in danger, but that didn’t mean he was prepared to see her walk out of his life. 

 

She’d given him two weeks – well, technically her contract had given him two weeks – to convince her to stay. He wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to do that, but he would do it! 

 

Happy with that resolution, Oliver returned to the couch and the case he was trying to read up on. He still needed to help their client, ChemCor, with the security alert. It would seem the NSA and lots of those other three letter-agencies had gotten involved this time. That’s what happened when the problem involved a potential terrorist threat and possibly the release of a weapon of mass destruction, should the research wind up in the wrong hands. 

 

The intel that had triggered the alert said that an senior employee in the Research and Development Department had been flagged as a potential risk. The man was suspected of selling information to an international terrorist organization – information that could be used to engineer a bio-chemical weapon. The NSA had contacted their client, and the client had asked Queen Security to help in the investigation, since they were responsible for in house security. 

 

Given the sensitive nature of the investigation Oliver didn’t think their usual intimidation-by-muscle-approach would be the right way to go. They needed a much more covert operation this time, and for that he needed Felicity. 

 

***

Dig had brought the coffees as usual. He walked by their favorite coffee shop on his way in every morning, so by tacit agreement he picked up a tray of coffees for their morning briefing. 

Felicity gratefully accepted hers. Today the mood was a bit strained she noticed as Dig deposited the other coffees on Oliver’s desk. And not just because of the ChemCor-situation that was on the agenda for the morning’s meeting. Clearly Oliver was having a bad morning. He looked tired, she thought with a worried frown.

“So,” Felicity said when they were all seated. “What would you like me to do for the next two weeks? I can finish up all the day-to-day administrative stuff and prepare a transfer to whoever will be taking my place. Or I can go all in on this new assignment? Whichever you prefer.” She felt pretty drained herself, and just hoped it wasn’t showing. 

“Wait, what’s going on?” Dig interrupted. “Who’s taking your place? I thought, you know, since you’re here…?” he trailed off looking questioningly between her and Oliver. 

“I resigned, Dig,” she said. “You know that. I’m just thinking I should spend my last two weeks doing what you guys need the most.” 

Dig looked at Oliver, who was staring hard at her but otherwise seemed to have turned to stone - or at least he was doing a very good impression of it. 

“Okay guys, how about we just deal with this case first, huh?” Dig said, clearly trying to diffuse the mood. 

“Right,” Oliver said, snapping out of his zombie-state. “The case. We really need to focus on this. I think we all need to get on this one for now, and I definitely think we’ll be needing you for this, Felicity. Are you both up to date on the situation?” He asked.

They got down to work, discussing their options and different ways to expose the suspected terrorist. The man was a senior scientist in the R&D-department, and was working on some highly sensitive products. The government agencies had him under surveillance outside of office hours, and were hoping to intercept any communications between him and the terrorist organization who was supposedly preparing to buy the information he was selling. 

But while he was at work, surveillance was difficult due to the security measures surrounding the R&D-departments work. As part of their services Queen Security had implemented extensive security measures to ensure that information leaks were virtually impossible, and that any kind of tracking, hacking or spying would be extremely difficult. Felicity had done an outstanding job of securing their systems.

“I think the obvious solution is for someone inside ChemCor to take a closer look at him,” Felicity said. “He’ll be alerted to any kind of probing from the outside immediately. But a coworker with similar clearance would be able to gain access to his lab, his office, his computer without setting off any alarms.”

“I’m not sure I want to involve anyone else,” Oliver mused. “It’s too risky – besides most of them are lab-nerds with little or no idea how to hack into this man’s computer.” 

“And that is precisely why I should do it,” Felicity said. “I can go under cover as a new analyst, assigned to his department and with security clearance for his section. It’s perfect. I’ll be right there and have full access to the lab, computers, everything.”

Felicity leaned back in her chair, trying not to look too pleased with her solution.

“Out of the question,” Oliver said getting up so fast he almost knocked over his chair. “It’s too dangerous, I won’t allow it. You can do the search remotely – I’ll break in after hours and get you the data you need.” His voice made it clear that this wasn’t up for discussion. 

“Come on Oliver,” Felicity snapped, also getting up and practically stalking him across the office floor. “If ever there was an assignment where I should be in the field, this is it! You know it’s the best way to do it. It will be untraceable, he’ll have no warning that we’re on to him.” 

“No!” Oliver yelled, turning around to face her. “Felicity…no! it’s not safe. I can’t protect you. You’d be there all on your own, and ..no, it’s just not a risk I’m willing to take.” He finished.

“Not safe!” now she was yelling too, practically nose to nose with him. God! The man was infuriating! What did he think she was? A porcelain doll to be bubble-wrapped for protection? 

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Dig sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest, clearly enjoying the show. 

“It’s a lab full of scientist, Oliver.” Felicity was still talking in her loud voice. “Ordinary people, doing their jobs, and I’d just be a new coworker doing mine. There’s nothing dangerous about it. It’s not like I’m proposing to go under cover with the Mob or anything. It’ll be no more dangerous than coming here every day.” 

“Felicity!” Oliver yelled, grabbing her arm. “You’d be putting yourself on the line - maybe not with the ‘ordinary’ people who work there, but this guy? He could find out about you, and that would put you smack in the middle of a very dangerous terrorist organization’s cross hairs. And the guy himself – what do we really know about him? If he’s capable of selling this information he might be desperate enough to hurt you if he finds out. No, it’s not an option,” he finished categorically.

“It’s the only option that makes any sense, Oliver” Felicity persisted. “You know it is. If you’d been able to do it yourself, you wouldn’t have hesitated for a second to go undercover, would you?”

“That’s different,” he answered, turning away from her.

“Why? Because you know fifty different ways to kill a guy with your bare hands?” she asked angrily.

“For one,” he snapped, turning back to face her. “And I’ve done it before. You have no idea how difficult it is to keep up a phony identity over time – there are so many ways you could slip up.”

“So you don’t think I can do it?” she said, rising up on her toes. The challenge was clear in her voice now. 

“No, I mean, yes..I…” Oliver looked unsure for a second. Dig looked like he was about to laugh at the obvious dilemma – there was no right answer to that question. No matter which way Oliver went he’d be in trouble with her. 

“Look,” Oliver finally said, sounding calmer. “I just think it’s an unnecessary risk, that’s all.” He looked at her almost pleadingly, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

“Well, I disagree,” She said. “I put those security measures in place myself, and I can tell you there is no way around them that won’t leave a trace.”

Dig cleared his throat making the two of them turn around to look at him. Felicity realized that they’d both forgotten his presence in the room. 

“If I may offer an opinion,” he said with an amused smirk. “I think Felicity is right, Oliver. And before you bite my head off, just hear me out, okay?” he added. 

“Felicity is right that the only way to get around the security without leaving a trace is hacking him from the inside. We all know that. And seriously Oliver, I have to agree with Felicity’s assessment. She’d not be in any serious danger there during office hours. All we need to do is make sure she has a chance to fiddle with the guy’s computer at some point.”

Felicity gave Dig a grateful smile, then turned around to face Oliver again. “See?” she said. “It’s not that dangerous. And if anything happens you both have access as part of the security team. I’m actually the only one they haven’t seen yet. I’m the obvious choice.” She was trying very hard not to look smug. 

Oliver looked at her intently for a moment. He seemed to be debating something with himself. Then he sighed. Felicity was aware that she was holding her breath, waiting for his verdict. 

“All right,” he finally said. “I agree that you’re the best choice for an inside job. I’m not saying I’m happy about you going in, but I think John is right – we can work out a way of having security on you at all times.” He put a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to look him in the eye. 

“Felicity,” he said. “I’m serious about this. You cannot take any chances. And if we’re going to do this – we’re doing it my way! Agreed?” 

Felicity could barely nod, she was so excited (and if she was being honest, also pretty scared all of a sudden).

“Right,” Dig said, getting up.”I’ll get in touch with ChemCor and get started on getting her credentials and all”. He gave her a wink and hurried out, leaving Felicity to deal with an obviously very unhappy Oliver Queen.


	5. Agent Smoak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity goes undercover to find information about the suspected terrorist working for one of Queen Securities clients.
> 
> Oliver is not happy with her putting herelf at risk - and things take a turn for the worse when the man she's investigating takes an interest in her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay - here's chapter 5 - finally!
> 
> Fair warning: if you're a Ray Palmer-fan you're not likely to like this chapter - or the rest of this story. I'm afarid Ray is turning out to be a bit of a bad guy. Sorry! Ever since he was introduced on the show I always felt that something was off about him, and I was sure he was going to turn out to be a bad guy . I just decided to go with that gut feelign for this :-)

Felicity felt her heart rate pick up as she pushed through the revolving doors that lead into the ultramodern lobby of ChemCor on Tuesday morning. She was feeling a little on edge. Probably just ‘first-day–at-the-new-job’-jitters, she reasoned, which was to be expected even if this wasn’t technically a new job. ‘First-day-at-the-new-fake-job-trying-to-catch-an-international-terrorist’ totally accounted for jitters too, she thought. 

 

She was assigned to work on the team where their suspect - a man called Ray Palmer - was the lead scientist. Dig had somehow managed to swing an opening on Palmer’s team as a replacement for a former analyst, which put her in an ideal position to observe their suspect, and possibly gain access to his computer and correspondence. 

 

She would be posing as an analyst, by the name of Meghan Seldon – well, not so much posing as actually working as one. She knew her way around a lab and the tech-work done at ChemCor was really very interesting. 

 

As an added bonus, she soon discovered that ChemCor had some seriously fun toys in the R&D department. She was there on important business, sure, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy the chance to work with some top of the line equipment, Felicity thought. Some of it wasn’t even available on the market yet! She mentally clapped her hands in glee and did a happy dance.

 

Ray Palmer himself also turned out to be a bit of a surprise. Felicity wasn’t exactly sure what she’d expected from a man who was supposedly willing to sell a bio-weapon of mass destruction to a terrorist organization, but she certainly hadn’t expected this. 

 

The guy was surprisingly charming – albeit in a slightly creepy way – and almost stereotypically ‘tall, dark and handsome.’ He was undeniably smart and he was even able to crack a joke once in a while. And he wasn’t your typical high handed, elitist, senior scientist either. He seemed very down to earth and easy going with the staff on his team. In fact he seemed to be quite popular with the people she talked to.

 

But something about him felt a little off. Felicity couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was that set off alarm bells in her head – it could of course just be the fact that they were investigating him for participation in terrorism and potential mass murder, she thought. But somehow she didn’t believe that. There was something else, something other than the terrorist-thing.

 

More importantly, however, the man seemed to have taken an immediate liking to her. They were to work closely together so it was important that he be comfortable around her and happy with her work. And it was even more important for her real mission that she gain his trust and be allowed to move freely around the labs and offices. 

 

At lunch time Felicity was starting to relax a bit and feel more secure in her ability to pull this off. No one had questioned her credentials or work experience, and she was more than capable of handling the work they expected her to do. Palmer’s team was a fun group of people and she felt right at home. She had spent the morning working with a guy called Barry – Barry Allen. The two of them had hit it off right away and she was actually beginning to enjoy herself. 

 

Barry was showing her the ropes and had also taken her to lunch, where they’d shared sandwiches and life–stories - or in her case the fabricated story that Oliver had rehearsed with her last night. Felicity had been a little nervous about that part, but Oliver had insisted. They had kept it simple, though, and as close to her real life as possible to make it easier for her to remember. 

 

By the end of her first day at ChemCor Felicity was starting to feel confident that she could do this. She just had to find a way to slip some of her special spy-tech onto Palmer’s computer and phone, so she could monitor his activities. 

 

At 5.30 Felicity said good bye to her new colleagues and headed home – or rather she headed to the rental apartment that Oliver kept on special retainer for undercover jobs. He had insisted that nothing should lead to her real identity while she was undercover. Last night he and Dig had helped her move the things that she would need for the next two weeks to the ‘Undercover HQ’, as she had dubbed it in her head. 

 

But after a day of pretence and constantly being on her guard, Felicity was exhausted. What she really wanted was to go home-home. She thought longingly of an evening on her own couch, binge-watching her favorite TV-shows while enjoying a few scoops of mint-chip ice cream. That was definitely going to be first on her agenda as soon as this was over. But for now she had to go to her temporary home and study up on information about ChemCor, her new colleagues - and especially Ray Palmer. 

 

Felicity sighed and swiped her new employee-card through the reader in the lobby. Then she headed out into the darkening city.

 

***  
“No Dig,” Felicity was saying in a despondent voice, polishing off the last of her latte. “Nothing yet. I’m going to try again this afternoon. Ray has a meeting with the board of directors today and should be gone for at least half an hour.” 

 

She was now three days into her new job, and Felicity was starting to feel frustrated. She had expected to find plenty of opportunities to sneak into Palmers office and slip in her spyware, but so far it had been impossible. The guy was just always there! It was like he didn’t even go to the bathroom, she thought, wondering briefly if maybe a laxative in his coffee would do the trick. She quickly discarded the thought. The whole operation would be compromised if he so much as suspected anyone was on to him, and drugging his coffee was probably not the best idea – the risk of him finding out was just too great, what with him having a state of the art lab at his disposal. 

 

On the up-side work was going great, and she was starting to feel at home in the expansive, modern labs and office landscapes of ChemCor. She was also enjoying working with her new best friend Barry. The guy was an adorable combination of Brains and Cute, she thought with a fond smile – with a hearty helping of Nerd on top! But that just made him even more lovable as far as Felicity was concerned. He was so easy to talk to – such a welcome change from Oliver she thought.   
Where Oliver was always guarded, brooding and secretive, Barry seemed straight forward, happy and …and she was doing it again! Comparing other guys to Oliver. “Stop it” she told herself angrily. “I don’t need Oliver and he has made it perfectly clear he doesn’t need me.”

 

She got up from her window seat at the café across the street from ChemCor where she’d had her lunch today in order to be able to call Dig and report on her progress. Or rather lack there-of, she thought with a sigh. 

 

Felicity pulled on her favorite purple coat – the one she always wore when she needed a confidence-boost. She grabbed her tablet from the table and left the café. She crossed the street and headed back into the towering glass and steel structure that was ChemCor. 

 

As she walked into the lab a few minutes later, Barry looked up from the samples he was preparing for analysis and smiled. Felicity smiled back and not for the first time she regretted having to deceive him. It was getting really difficult not being able to tell him the truth about herself. She really liked him and was starting to worry that their budding friendship would suffer once he found out that she’d been lying to him all along. 

 

But that couldn’t be helped. The job came first – that’s what she was here for, she reminded herself, as she plunked down in front of the over-sized computer screen. 

 

When Ray popped in a few minutes later to let them know he was headed up to the board meeting, Felicity almost choked on the pen she was chewing. Suddenly a whole family of butterflies was having a party in her stomach it seemed. 

 

‘Get a grip!’ she mumbled to herself. This was the moment she had been waiting for and she had to take advantage of his absence – who knew when she’d get the chance again.

 

“Barry, I just remembered I left my report in the car this morning – I’m just going to go down and get it – I’m supposed to present it to Mr. Palmer today,” she finished, feeling like the biggest fraud alive. 

 

But Barry didn’t seem to think anything of it. He just smiled and waved as she headed out the door, a notebook casually clutched in her hand. 

 

Ray’s office was down the hall, around a corner. Felicity speed-walked the length of the hallway until she could turn the corner. Once she was out of sight from the lab, she slowed down and walked as inconspicuously as possible to Ray’s office. The door was closed but not locked she discovered as she surreptitiously tried the handle. Checking to see that no one was looking she quickly slipped in and closed the door behind her. 

 

“Finally” she whispered to herself as she dropped into his chair and got to work on slipping in her spy-ware. The computer was done in a matter of minutes. But she couldn’t find his phone anywhere. Not so surprising she thought, since most people carried them around these days. It might be tricky to get a hold of it, but at least she now had access to his computer and could spend the evening hacking and sifting through his files and mails. 

 

She checked the time and decided there wasn’t time to search his office for further proof of his intentions. He could be back at any second. 

 

Satisfied that she’d left no trace of anyone being in the office, she left, pulling the door shut behind her quietly. Felicity turned around to head back to the lab – and froze in her tracks. Ray Palmer was striding down the hall towards her, and there could be doubt he’d seen her come out of his office. 

 

“Oh, crap!” she whispered to herself, clutching her notebook, containing her stat-report to her chest.

 

“Ms. Seldon,” Ray said with a frown. “Can I help you?” 

 

“Mr. Palmer,” Felicity said, desperately trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for being in his office. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in here – I just wanted to give you the report you asked me to work up. I wanted to know if I’ve got the format you want” she rambled on.

 

“Oh, thank you”, he said immediately losing the frown. “And call me Ray please,” he said with a smile. He quickly browsed through the file she handed over. “This looks perfect, Ms. Seldon” he said, giving her a warm smile.

 

“Call me Meghan please,” Felicity smiled back, hoping he wouldn’t notice the sweat on her forehead or the way her hands were shaking. 

 

“Meghan,” Ray said, almost as if tasting the word. “Actually Meghan I wanted to talk to you – come in for minute please?” he opened the door and signaled for her to walk in. 

 

“Su..sure,” Felicity stammered and stumbled ahead of him into the office she’d just vacated. “Oh, crap, crap crap!” she thought. “I’m SO busted! Oliver is going to be so mad…” Although come to think of it, right now Oliver’s temper wasn’t her biggest concern. 

 

“So, Meghan,” Ray said as he sat down behind his desk, in the chair she’d been in just minutes before. “How are you liking it here at ChemCor?” He smiled warmly and indicated the chair on the other side of his desk.

 

“Fine,” Felicity managed, as she dropped into the chair, relieved that she could at least hide the fact that her legs were trembling. “I’m loving it, and the team is really great!” she added, wondering if she was overdoing the enthusiasm. 

“Good,” he said. “I’m glad. I have to say it’s a pleasure working with you and I’m, so thrilled to have you on my team. In fact,” he added, with a smile “I was wondering if perhaps tomorrow, after work, you’d join me for a drink? You know, to celebrate your first week here at ChemCor?”   
***

“Absolutely not!” Oliver shouted, pacing angrily in front of his desk. “You are NOT going on a date with this creep. That won’t be happening! It’s not safe. We’re investigating him for terrorism for crying out loud and you want to have drinks and share small talk with the man? Are you out of your mind?” He paused briefly for breath.” It’s out of the question!” He was absolutely livid. 

Felicity calmly surveyed him from her position by the door, arms folded over her chest, head held high. She had never seen Oliver Queen lose control quite like this before, she mused with almost clinical detachment. 

 

She walked over to the coffee table by the windows, shrugged out of her coat and deposited it along with her bag on the leather sofa facing it. Then she turned to face him again.

 

Felicity had accepted Ray Palmers invitation with no hesitation. She had figured it would be a great way to find out more about the man and maybe get him to let his guard down around her a little too. It could come in handy, she had thought, if she could get him to trust her. And with any luck the guy would be a little less careful with a few drinks in him, and maybe – just maybe, she’d get a chance to slip her tech onto his phone. 

 

But apparently her real boss didn’t see it quiet that way. Oliver was still going strong, enumerating the myriad different ways things could go wrong. 

 

“Oliver!” Felicity finally cut through his ranting. “I think you misunderstood me. I’m not asking your permission to go on this date. I’m going. I just thought you might like to know,” she said, feeling a little bit like she was facing down a raging bull with nothing but a red hanky for protection. 

 

“I expect you’ll want me to be bugged and tracked and all the usual, so you can keep an eye on what’s going on,” she soldiered on. “And I thought, it might give you and Dig a chance to have a look at the guy’s apartment while I keep him occupied for a few hours.” 

 

Oliver stopped pacing and turned around to face her, an incredulous look on his face. For one, two, heartbeats nothing happened. Then he stormed across the floor, stopping only when he was toe to toe with her, looming over her in all his imposing anger. Felicity didn’t back down, but boldly returned his glare. He was NOT going to intimidate her into submission, she thought. He could be such a bully sometimes! 

 

“Feli-ci-ty” he said in a low growl, pronouncing every syllable. “This. Will. Not. Happen! You are not doing this.” He actually looked more pained than angry now, she noticed. 

 

“Oh, get over yourself Oliver,” she said, starting to get annoyed with his bossy attitude. “You know it’s a good idea for me to socialize with him – you’ve used that same tactic yourself a million times,” she pointed out, poking him in the chest with her index finger to make her point. And what exactly is it you think can go wrong in a bar full of people? It’s not like I’m meeting him in a dark alleyway.” 

 

Felicity was aware that her own voice was getting louder too now. They were getting into a really bad habit of shouting at each other rather than talking, her inner Bhuddist informed her sadly. But he was just SO infuriating, she argued with herself. He was being completely patronizing, overbearing and downright insulting with his constant ‘you can’t do this’, ‘it’s too dangerous’, ‘I won’t allow it’ (oh, yeah, that last one really ticked all the boxes on her rage-list, she had discovered). 

 

He needed to accept that she was capable of making her own decisions. She had helped save the day often enough in the past – even if she usually did so from behind her wall of computers. But that was beside the point. She was part of this team (at least for another week and a half), and he had better start acknowledging that!

 

But just as she was about to let him in on her thoughts on the subject, Felicity was completely side-tracked, when Oliver grabbed her firmly by the shoulders and hauled her up against his chest, lowering his head to her eyelevel. She was momentarily distracted by his close proximity, the blue fire in his eyes, and she promptly forgot the verbal punches she had lined up. Oliver was quick to take advantage of her silence. 

 

“Felicity,” he said in a strained voice. “I agreed to let you go undercover at ChemCor, because you and Dig both assured me you’d be safe at the lab - but I never agreed to let you dangle yourself as live bait in front of a psychopath! I can’t have you do that. Don’t ask me to be okay with you putting yourself at that kind of risk.” His voice was throbbing with emotion and he was clearly struggling to keep himself in check. 

 

Felicity’s eyes were locked on his, like a deer caught in the headlights – unable to move, just waiting for the inevitable to happen. 

 

For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her, his lips hovering just above hers, their breaths mingling, his eyes burning into hers. She didn’t really think she’d mind, a part of her speculated, while another – more rational part of her brain – was screaming at her to move away, that this was dangerous territory, that her heart had taken as much as it could and that she needed to keep a safe distance until she could get away from him and the power he clearly still held over her. 

 

Oliver lowered his head a fraction more, his hands travelling down her arms as if to pull her in closer. Felicity closed her eyes in anticipation. 

 

“So, I hear Agent Smoak is in the house,” a familiar voice came from the behind her. “Oops! Sorry guys, am I interrupting something?” Dig said, sounding amused. 

Felicity’s eyes flew open, and she quickly took a step back from Oliver. His hands were still holding firmly onto her arms, so she couldn’t move completely away from him. He hadn’t looked towards Dig but was still staring hard at her. 

 

“Felicity was just telling me that she’s going on a date with Ray Palmer.” Oliver said in a deceptively calm tone of voice. He was still looking at her, making it impossible for her to look away. 

 

“No you’re not,” Dig said categorically and without hesitation. “What is he talking about Felicity?” 

 

Oliver tilted his head and raised an eyebrow at her in an obvious ‘told-you-so’-gesture. Then he finally let go of her arms, and turned to face Dig. 

 

“Apparently Mr. Palmer, has the hots for Felicity and he’s asked her out,” Oliver explained. “Either that or he’s on to her and is trying to trip her up,” he added, casting a sidelong glance at Felicity.

 

Felicity gave an exasperated sigh, and folded her arms across her chest, trying to regain her composure.

 

“Come on guys,” she said. “It’s not like that. He’s just being a good colleague. It’s not even a date-date. It’s just two people who work together, going out for a pre-weekend-drink Friday afternoon. People – normal people - do it all the time. It’s nothing. We’ll be in a crowded bar, lots of other people from ChemCor will be there. It’s perfectly harmless and a good opportunity to get to know him better. Finding out more about him is helpful, remember?” She looked from one to the other with a look that told both men that she felt like the only adult in a room full of toddlers. 

 

“Well,” Dig said, “I suppose when you put it like that it doesn’t sound quite so sinister. Oliver”, he said turning to face their boss. “She has a point. It could be useful – and it might even look more suspicious if she doesn’t go if it’s a work-thing. I can be posted right outside. If we keep her bugged we’ll know if anything happens and I can be there in a second.” Dig shrugged. “I can keep her safe.”

 

Oliver gave Dig a look that spoke volumes of the betrayal he felt. Dig just shrugged again and returned the look. 

 

“It makes sense, man” he said. “And like Felicity said, it’s not really a date. It’s a work-thing. “We can keep her safe”, he repeated and looked at his watch. “And now, you’ll both have to excuse me. I’ve got to get home – family dinner tonight. Lyla is going to kill me if I’m late.” His happy smile belied the severity of the threat. ”I just wanted to say hi when I heard you were in,” he said, turning to Felicity. Then he gave her a quick hug, nodded at Oliver and left. 

 

When the door closed behind Dig, Felicity turned back to face Oliver. “So,” she said with as much confidence as she could muster. “How do you want to do it?...and by ‘it’ I mean, the fake-date surveillance set-up,” she added hurriedly, feeling a give-away blush rise up her neck. 

 

Oliver looked at her with a pained expression. His eyes searching her face as if looking for something. Then he sighed. “Well, for starters we get you geared up,” he said resignation clear in his voice. 

***

The late afternoon gloom was turning the office into a dark cave, lit only by small pools of light where computer screens glowed. Oliver and Dig had spent hours going over the schematics of the lounge where Palmer was taking Felicity in a few hours. They were working out the best way to cover the place - and her - trying to prepare for any eventuality. But Oliver was feeling restless and getting more and more worried about the whole set-up as the day progressed. And he hadn’t exactly been a fan of the idea to begin with! 

 

Dig must have picked up on his mood, because he suddenly stopped his recital of estimated TOAs from his designated hiding place to any of the 4 exits from the place. 

 

“Oliver, you don’t honestly think that I’m going to let anything happen to her, do you?” Dig said. “Look, I’ll be in direct contact with her throughout the whole thing. She’ll have a few drinks with the guy, flirt a little to put him at his ease, they’ll talk - and that’ll be it.” I’ll even follow her back to the apartment to make sure she gets there safely. She’ll be fine,” Dig repeated for what felt like the tenth time – at least! He’d never seen his friend and boss this on edge before.

 

Oliver hated this. The idea of Felicity alone with this guy, a man who – according to the government agencies’ reports on him - had little or no conscience and who’d be completely ruthless should he ever discover her real purpose in being there. It made his blood run cold. It made him want to just grab her and run with her – far, far away to someplace safe. It made him want to punch things! 

 

His sudden violent inclinations were obviously showing on his face, he realized, judging by the look Dig gave him. Oliver walked around his desk and sat down. He turned to face the computer screen, which lit up the darkening office with its bluish light. 

 

“Look, Dig,” he said with a sigh, staring at nothing. “I need to be the one at the bar. I need to make sure she’s safe. You go check out his apartment – I’ll watch out for Felicity.” He turned back to face Dig, the look on his face making it clear he wasn’t in the mood to argue about this. 

 

Dig cocked his head and looked at him for a second. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Oliver,” he said quietly. “I mean, you’re not exactly being objective here. I know you hate the idea of her going out with him. I know you’re worried about her – so am I – but I’m worried about you too. About your judgement slipping because this is getting personal for you.” 

 

Oliver was about to snap something very impolite at Dig, but managed to reign in his bad temper just in time. This wasn’t Dig’s fault. The whole situation was just messed up! Oliver closed his eyes for a second, rubbing his temples to ease the tension. 

 

“I’m fine, Dig,” he said. “You don’t need to worry about me or my ability to take care of her. I just need to be there. I mean, think about it. If it had been Lyla going on this ‘date’ - how would you feel? Wouldn’t you want to be there too, to look out for her?” Oliver asked, suddenly feeling very tired. 

 

“Oh, absolutely!” Dig said. “But that’s because I love her – and I’d do anything to protect her. Are you saying that’s what’s going on here with you and Felicity?” Dig sounded just a little smug now. 

 

Oliver looked at him with a menacing glare. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect her, Dig,” he practically snarled at his friend. “Because she’s mi… she’s my friend” he caught himself. “And I care about her, and it’s..it’s’ just.. It’s Felicity!” Oliver stopped to draw breath. As he exhaled he looked up at Dig again, and suddenly the fight went out of him. “Look” he said. “It really doesn’t matter why. All I know is I have to make sure she’s safe.”

 

“Well,” Dig said. “I may not matter in terms of tonight, but it sure matters if you plan on keeping Felicity around, man. She isn’t going to hang around waiting for you to get your head out of your ass. Just a friendly word of advice – tell her how you feel, and do it soon!”

 

Dig got up and stretched the kinks out of his neck. “I’m going to head down to the gym for an hour or so,” he said. “Work out some of this tension before we head out – even if I’m suddenly only on breaking-and-entering duty.” He gave Oliver a pointed look and walked out.


	6. Undercover Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity goes on her 'date' with Ray Palmer, while Oliver has assigned himself protection duty for the evening.
> 
> Agent Smoak rises to the challenge - but is also a little overwhelmed by the emotional drain it causes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...things are still pretty unresolved between Oliver and Felicity, and Ray Palmer isn't making things easier. 
> 
> But things usually gets worse before they get better, right? :-)

Felicity was touching up her make-up in the ladies’ room at ChemCor. It was Friday afternoon and she was getting ready to go out for drinks with Ray Palmer. “Drinks with Ray Palmer,” she muttered to her own reflection in the mirror. She shuddered. Just thinking it made her stomach lurch.   
She pulled out her usual smooth ponytail and re-arranged her hair in a casual down-style, held in place over one shoulder with a hair-clip. Then she applied her raspberry-colored lipstick – again - and decided that had to do. It wasn’t even a real date, she reminded herself, so she shouldn’t be feeling nervous about this at all. But she was. Very!  
In fact, if she didn’t know any better she’d say she was having a severe case of cold feet right now. She was starting to have serious doubts about this whole enterprise. What was she doing? She wasn’t a field agent, or an under-cover-type person at all. She belonged behind a computer screen – that’s where she did her finest work, that’s where she performed damn near miracles! She was superwoman with a keyboard and decent wifi! But this? Pretending to be someone she wasn’t? Lying to people? Constantly worrying that she might slip up?   
And now – a date? Or as it were, a fake date, with her fake boss whom she was trying to lure into revealing his secret intentions of becoming a terrorist - or helping terrorists commit mass murder… one of those… It was all so far out of her comfort zone she wasn’t even sure she could find her way back anymore!   
She wasn’t exactly sure what had prompted her to agree to this date-thing in the first place, but she had a sneaking suspicion her recent emotional melt-down over Oliver had something to do with it. And that was SO not a good thing. If this was her subconscience trying to get back at Oliver by going on a date with another guy she was so screwed - and so far from achieving anything, it wasn’t even funny! Oliver wasn’t going to get jealous over this. He was concerned about her safety, about the safety of the mission - sure. But he wasn’t jealous. First of all, he knew it was a fake date. And second – wait for it, wait for it – oh, there it was: he didn’t care!! She’d best keep that in mind, she told herself sternly.   
Besides, she might have been nursing a crush on him for the past three years, but it wasn’t exactly as if Oliver had been celibate. He had dated his fair share of women. He just didn’t seem to want anything permanent.   
Although, come to think of it, she couldn’t recall the last time she’d actually seen him with a woman. And considering the hours they all put in – and the fact that they were together or at least in close contact almost 24-7 - it was practically impossible for him to go on a date without her knowing about it.  
Huh, that was...well, Felicity didn’t really know what that was. Maybe he’d taken this whole non-commitment thing to the next level and decided to forego human contact altogether, she thought wryly. Then she shook her head and silently apologized to the universe in general for the bitchy thoughts. She needed good Karma right now – and lots of it!!  
Anyway, now wasn’t the time to get lost in another hopeless day dream. She had a fake date to go to and a possible terrorist to take down!   
To that end Felicity finished her pre-date primping by attaching the miniature camera she would be wearing to her necklace. The camera was so small it looked like just another stone on her pendant. Then she slipped the tiny combined transmitter and mic into her ear – the side covered by her hair.   
She tapped both devices to turn them on for a quick test, to make sure everything worked. Dig confirmed immediately that he had both visual and audio. Felicity confirmed that she was receiving his voice loud and clear on her end. “Right”, she murmured. “All set then.”   
Giving her reflection one last check, she smoothed the skirt of her knee length, fuchsia-colored dress (chosen for its flattering, flirty, cut with office-appropriate coverage), then she grabbed her purse off the counter, and walked purposefully towards the elevator bay.   
She was meeting Ray at the ‘Blue Notes Bar & Lounge’. It was conveniently located just around the corner from the ChemCor high-rise, and was a place where ChemCor-employees often went for an after-work drink.   
When Felicity walked into the bar at five minutes past five, the place was just starting to fill up with the Friday afternoon crowd. Happy people, eager to forget the toils of the week and let lose a little before heading home for the weekend.   
She couldn’t see Ray anywhere, so she chose a seat at the bar, placing her purse on the stool next to her. She looked around the room, trying to look casual but feeling incredibly conspicuous. Nobody seemed to notice her though, except for the bartender, who hurried over to take her order.   
“I’ll just have a club-soda,” Felicity said.”I’m waiting for someone, and I wouldn’t want to get plastered before he gets here,” she babbled on with a nervous chuckle to the indifferent, but politely smiling, bartender. He probably thought she was on a blind date she figured. He must see lots of nervous first-daters in here.   
With the glass in front of her Felicity felt slightly less out of place. She even started to relax a little, which was probably how she managed not to freak out when she suddenly heard Oliver’s voice in her ear.   
“I see him coming towards the bar now Felicity”, he said. Wow, that felt weird. It was like he was inside her head, Felicity thought. “Oliver!” she whispered, trying not to move her lips too much. “What are you doing out there? Aren’t you supposed to be searching his apartment?”   
“Yeah, Dig’s doing that” Oliver’s voice replied in her ear. Funny how intimate this felt, Felicity mused. She’d never really thought about it before. So this was how it was for him every time he was out there and she was speaking to him via the ear-piece? Interesting.  
“Felicity?” his voice sounded urgent.   
“Oh, right, yes – I’m here” she answered in a low whisper. “But how come you switched? Is everything all right?” she asked.   
Just then she saw Ray through the glass partition that separated the bar from the entrance.  
“Never mind – he’s here” she whispered furiously, suddenly crazy nervous again.   
“Yes, I see him,” Oliver said, as Ray came closer and her necklace-cam picked up his image.   
“Just remember,” Oliver’s voice continued in her ear. “Don’t respond out loud to anything I say from now on. If you need to say something to me, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Otherwise this is one way from now on.”   
Somehow, having his voice in her head like this made it all seem a little less terrifying, she thought. Then Ray smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek in hello. 

***  
Oliver was stationed on the roof top of a low-rise building housing a coffee shop and two small apartments above the shop. It was just across the street from the bar where Felicity was meeting Ray Palmer.   
He had a clear view of the entrance and the side-entrance of the place, and could be down there in a matter of seconds if he had any reason to think that something was wrong.   
But it was a public place after all. She was in the middle of a Friday afternoon-drinks crowd, with lots of people having a good time all around. There was no reason to think she would be in any kind of danger.   
AND he had both audio and visual contact with her and could see the interior of the bar – at the moment specifically the front of Ray Palmer’s sports jacket as he leaned down for what Oliver supposed was a cheek kiss – at least he hoped that was what it was. The bastard had better not try anything more, he silently fumed.   
Oliver absolutely HATED this whole set-up.  
Felicity was in there having drinks with a known psychopath and he was just sitting here listening in on their conversation but otherwise completely useless. At least that’s how it felt as he watched the live feed of Palmer signaling the bartender, ordering champagne – really, champagne? Oliver’s fists clenched involuntarily. He briefly entertained the thought of barging in there and extracting Felicity just for the satisfaction of seeing the stunned look on Palmer’s face.   
But of course that was out of the question. Palmer couldn’t know he was under surveillance.   
Oliver went back to listening intently to the conversation.   
“So Meghan,” Palmer was saying. “Tell me a little more about yourself. I mean, I know what Human Resources’ file says, but I would like to know a little more about the person – who is Meghan Seldon?” He smiled charmingly at Felicity – something that her necklace cam did an all too good job at picking up, Oliver thought.   
“Oh, there’s not that much to tell really,” he heard Felicity say. “I’m a pretty ordinary girl Ray,” she added. Oliver wished he could see Felicity’s face. He felt pretty sure she was smiling at the creep right now. He knew her smile. He knew how good it felt to have her smile at you, and he resented the fact that she was smiling at this man right now, even if it was all a ruse.  
“You are very far from ordinary, Meghan,” Palmer was saying. “I’ve seen some of the stuff you’ve done, not just this past week, but at your previous place of employment, and I’m very impressed. What I’m curious about is how come you decided to leave your former job and come to work for me – I mean, I’m sure what I have you doing must seem a bit....mundane for someone with your expertise?”   
Oliver sat up straight and followed the feed more closely. Palmer was starting to pry into the background story they had fabricated for Felicity. He just hoped she managed to throw him off track before he found any inconsistencies.   
“Well, Ray,” Felicity said. “I needed a fresh start – for personal reasons,” she added. “I just needed a new city, new job, new people to take my mind off of…well, like I said, some personal things.” Felicity paused and Oliver hated that he couldn’t see her face.   
“I…let’s just say, I suffered a loss,” she continued. “And I really want to move on and put that behind me.” He voice sounded soft and vulnerable. Either she was a far better actress than she gave herself credit for, Oliver thought, or she was telling the truth. It wasn’t lost on him that was she was saying came disturbingly close to what she’d told him, the day she had handed in her resignation.   
Palmer’s face looked appropriately concerned when it came into focus via the necklace cam.   
“I’m sorry Meghan,” he said. “I didn’t mean to pry. I was just wondering what could be behind such a choice.” He smiled disarmingly at the camera – or rather at Felicity, Oliver reminded himself.  
“But as sorry as I am for your sake, Meghan, I must confess I’m thrilled to have you here – so a toast? To a new start?” Palmer smiled again. He really resembled an alligator with all those teeth showing, Oliver thought sullenly.   
The conversation went on for a while interrupted by champagne sipping, colleagues stopping by to say hello, and a few innocuous phone calls for Palmer. Nothing alarming was going on – well, except of course for the fact that Felicity was having drinks and flirting with another man, Oliver thought. He hadn’t expected to be so bothered by it – it was after all a fake date. But somehow as the evening progressed and he listened in on Felicity’s talk with Ray, he realized that the two of them were getting along famously. They seemed to have a lot in common, and once Felicity had steered them away from her background story the conversation had flowed naturally.   
Some of it he didn’t even fully understand when it got too technical – but Felicity genuinely sounded like she was enjoying herself and the conversation. He just really hoped she remembered that her companion – that Ray Palmer – wasn’t who he said he was!   
***  
It was getting late and the clientele in the bar was changing, Felicity noticed. The Friday after-work crowd had left and was now being replaced by people in fancy clothes coming out for pre-dinner drinks, dates were meeting up and the whole tone of the place was changing.  
‘Time to call it a night,’ she thought. Even if she hadn’t learned a lot about her new boss or gotten a hold of his phone, she had at least managed to put him at ease around her she thought. That had to count for something.   
“It’s getting late, Ray,” she said, smiling at her companion. He had turned out to be a lot more entertaining than she had imagined. He was very charming when he wanted to be, and scary smart too. At one point she had actually thought that they could have been friends, had circumstances been different. ‘Yeah, that is if he hadn’t been a terrorist or consorting with terrorists,’ the cynical part of her brain reminded her.   
Still, bottom-line was that she had actually enjoyed herself, she admitted. Even if she had never completely been able to forget that Oliver was listening to every word they were saying. It had been a little strange to try and banter and flirt with another man, while Oliver was there – practically inside her head. But it had also been kind of thrilling, she admitted to herself. That was probably very wrong, but she couldn’t help if she enjoyed the situation a tiny little bit, now could she? So what if she had been a little warmer with Palmer than she would have normally been? Oliver couldn’t know that, right?   
“I think I need to get home – I’m exhausted.” Felicity said to Palmer. “First week at the new job and all, you know?” she searched through her purse for her phone, intending to call a cab.   
“Of course. Can I just say, it’s been a pleasure, Meghan,” Ray said. “I really enjoyed this evening.” He smiled at her – genuinely she thought. “But why don’t you let me give you a lift home?” he continued. “I have my car right out back, and I’d be happy to drop you off?”  
“Felicity, NO!” Oliver’s voice was suddenly very present and very tense in her ear. He hadn’t said much since Ray had arrived. Just prompted a few questions a couple of times, but other than that he’d kept quiet. But Ray’s offer obviously didn’t sit well with him.  
Felicity wavered. She didn’t quite know how to proceed. On the one hand she was aware that Oliver was right – going with Palmer in his car could be potentially risky. On the other hand the whole evening had been completely uneventful, and Palmer had absolutely no reason to suspect her, she thought. Besides, he wouldn’t have invited her out in public if he intended to hurt her, she reasoned.   
“Are you sure?” she said to Palmer. “Can you even drive? With all the champagne, I mean?”  
“Yes, I’m sure,” he replied reassuringly. “And I’m fine to drive – my last two drinks were club-soda, so you’ll be safe with me Meghan.” He smiled again, and held out his hand to her.  
Felicity looked at his outstretched hand. Then she decided to go for it, to go for one last shot at getting more information out of him. She got up, placed her hand in Ray’s, and let him lead her to the back entrance of the bar, which led to the parking area behind it.   
“Felicity! What are you doing?” Oliver’s frantic voice was in her head immediately. “DO NOT get in that car with him. Felicity, please, don’t do this,” he pleaded. “I won’t be able to get to you in time if anything happens. I can’t even see the parking lot from here.”  
Oliver’s pleading almost made her change her mind, but they were out the backdoor and to Ray’s car so fast she didn’t have time to come up with an excuse.  
‘I’ll be fine’ she thought. ‘He’s just being over-protective.’ But a small voice in the back of her head was telling her that what she was doing was really stupid – an unnecessary risk, and that Oliver was right to try and stop her.  
Ray was holding the door open for her now. His car looked foreign and expensive, she noticed. It wasn’t a brand she was familiar with. Probably European. She hesitated for a second, but then decided there was no turning back now, and slowly got in the car.  
“Felicity!” she could hear Oliver’s voice over the sound of the car-engine starting. Then she heard a strange noise over the com…like a rush of air, the sound of running feet, then more noise. Engine noise. His bike, she realized. He must be following them on his bike of course. That made her feel a little bit better, as Ray’s car slowly pulled out of the parking lot and began to make its way through the evening traffic towards her part of the city. She was wondering if Oliver was keeping up with them, if he knew exactly where they were. Of course the tracking device in her phone would tell him, she reasoned. But she couldn’t see him anywhere, and she was afraid to look, in case Ray noticed anything strange.   
“Everything all right, Meghan?” Ray asked as they stopped for red at an intersection. “You’re very quiet all of a sudden.”   
“Yes, I’m fine thanks – just tired,” she answered, trying not to let her sudden tension show. “It’ll probably be faster to take the turn up there” she said, indicating the next intersection. “Frasier Street usually isn’t as congested.” She wondered if Oliver had heard her direction, or if he was anywhere near at all.  
“All right,” Ray replied, “Just talk me in the rest of the way, then. I’m not really familiar with this part of town.” He sounded calm and relaxed she noticed. ‘He wouldn’t if he was about to do something horrible to me now, would he?’ she asked herself.   
Suddenly Palmer’s phone buzzed. It was on the console between them, and Palmer glanced down to see who the caller was.   
“Do you want me to get that for you?” Felicity offered, eyeing an opportunity. Before he could respond she reached out and grabbed the phone.   
“Don’t!” Palmer barked the order surprisingly roughly, and Felicity almost dropped the phone. Instead she wound up fumbling with it for a moment, before getting a secure grip on it, and placing it back on the console.  
“Sorry,” she said. “I just thought I’d help, you know, since you’re kind enough to drive me, and you really shouldn’t use the phone while you’re driving as I’m sure you know, and I thought it might be important so it couldn’t wait and…” Felicity babbled on, for once not the least bit bothered by her mouth’s tendency to run on. She had no idea if she’d just ruined everything by overstepping her mark by a mile.  
“No problem,” Palmer replied, sounding calm again. “It was a personal call, so no need for you to take that for me.” He smiled reassuringly at her.  
“Oh, left here,” Felicity said, “and then we’re on my street. Two buildings down, that’s me.”  
Ray followed her instructions, and pulled over by the curb right outside her building’s front gate. Then he got out of the car and walked around to open the door for Felicity.  
‘Oh God,’ she thought. ‘He better not be expecting to be invited up!’ She took the hand he offered her and stepped out of the car. Then she turned to face him.  
“I had a really nice time tonight, Ray,” she said with a smile. “Thank you for that.”  
Ray smiled back at her, completely at ease, she thought. Then he bent his head and gave her a small peck on the cheek. “Me too Meghan,” he said. “Let’s do this again.”   
He squeezed her hand in good bye. She could feel him watching her as she walked the few steps to her door and went inside. The moment she heard the front gate close behind her, Felicity let out a sigh of relief, and took a deep breath – her first real breath in hours, she thought.   
***  
Oliver watched from the shadows as Ray Palmer parked the car, got out and walked around to help Felicity out. He watched as Palmer held her hand, and kissed her cheek, and he watched as Felicity smiled at the man, then turned on her heel and headed for the building.   
The minute the gate closed behind Felicity, Oliver felt like a huge burden had just lifted from his shoulders. Or his heart to be precise. He saw Palmer get back into the car, and drive off.   
Then he was running. He was at through the gate of her building and at the elevator in seconds – and there she was. Waiting for the elevator, looking pale and lost, but more importantly, unharmed, he noticed.  
Felicity looked up when she heard the gate close. She looked at him for a long moment, her eyes huge in her pale face. She made a small sound and then she ran straight into his arms. She flung her arms around his neck and clung to him like he was her life-raft and they were in the middle of the Atlantic.   
She was shaking and obviously more affected by the stress and tension caused by the evening’s events than she had expected.  
Oliver held her tight, stroking her hair, mumbling soothing noises in her ear. “Stop that,” she mumbled against his neck. “It feels weird.”   
He didn’t understand at first, but then she raised her hand to her ear and pulled out her earpiece. “Oh,” he said, understanding dawning on him. “Yeah, I guess it would sound strange like that”, he smiled down at her, for a second just grateful that she was fine.  
“Are you okay?” he asked, searching her face for signs of distress.   
“I’m fine,” Felicity said, “God, I feel like I’ve said that a million times tonight.” She let go of him and took a step back. He wanted to reach out and pull her back into his arms. He wasn’t done holding her. It was just to reassure himself that she was indeed fine, he said to himself. But he didn’t really believe it.   
“Okay, so do you mind telling me what the heck you were doing getting into his car?” he asked instead, going with the notion that offense was the best defense.   
“What I was thinking?” Felicity said. He could almost see her hackles rising, he thought, and tried very hard not to smile. “I was thinking that I should do my best to get the information we’re looking for – or at the very least plant that spy-ware on his phone so we might get the missing pieces of the puzzle! That’s what I was thinking.” She looked daggers at him now, clearly using anger to fight through her fear.   
“Well, that was just stupid Felicity,” Oliver said. “It wasn’t worth the risk. What if he had been on to you? What if he had suspected you? It could have gone really, really wrong. Never, ever do something like that again!” he was working up to a pretty good steam himself now, as the initial fright was leaving him, and he started thinking about all the things that could have gone wrong.  
“I almost barged in there and physically pulled you out, and that would have ruined everything”, he barked, feeling pretty righteously angry.   
“Oh come on, Oliver,” Felicity said. “You were there the whole evening. You heard our conversation. It was completely innocent and friendly. In fact, if I didn’t know any better I’d say Ray Palmer is just your average super-smart, wealthy, and pretty good-looking scientist guy, who was just out with a woman he liked, having a few drinks! How very sinister!” she said in a mocking tone.   
“Yeah, well, he isn’t!” Oliver said tersely. “And you know that, and you can’t tell me you weren’t afraid just now, being in the car with him alone like that.” He had moved closer to her again as he spoke and now he reached out and placed his hands on her shoulder, his eyes searching her face.  
“Yeah, so maybe I was a little nervous – but that was just because you made it into a big deal with all that ‘No Felicity’, ’You can’t Felicity’,” she snapped. “I was doing fine, and for your information I actually managed to get my hands on his phone in the car. I got the spy-ware on it, so now we just wait for something to turn up!” she glowered at him.   
A small voice in the back of her mind told her that maybe – just maybe – he had been just as frightened as she had, and that maybe this was just his response to that. That maybe he had been scared out of his mind that she would get hurt and now he was just processing. But she wasn’t in the mood to be reasonable right now. She ignored the voice and went back to glowering at Oliver.   
“As great as that is, Felicity, it doesn’t change the fact that it was a huge risk and you shouldn’t have done it!” Oliver snapped, gripping her shoulders tighter. “You could have gotten hurt, the mission could have been compromised, and he could have gotten away.”  
“And another thing,” Oliver continued, unable to stop all the pent-up emotion from spilling over now that he had started. “What was with all that flirting? Did you ever stop to consider what you would have done if he’d pushed for more? He was certainly getting the impression that you were into him! Was that really necessary – or was that part not acting?”  
“Are you kidding me?” Felicity’s voice shot up two octaves. “Are you seriously asking me this? Oliver, I was doing my part. It was a date! Remember those? You’ve been on enough of them to understand the concept, I’m sure,” she snapped, her eyes blazing at him.   
“Whoa, whoa guys!” Dig’s slightly metallic voice suddenly came over the coms, cutting through their emotional bubble. “I’m still here, remember? Hearing every word…”  
Oliver looked slightly taken aback. Then he visibly relaxed and took a step back from her.   
Dig’s voice continued. “As entertaining as this little show-down is, I’d much rather get home to my family, so can we please wrap this up? I gather the two of you are both fine, and things went…well… with Palmer tonight? So are we in the clear for now?”   
“Yeah, Dig, sorry about that,” Oliver replied, sounding subdued.”Everything is fine, and Felicity managed to plant the spy-ware on his phone, so we should be getting everything soon.” Oliver glared at her at this last part.  
“I’ll be heading home now too – I’ll just need to check Felicity’s apartment to make sure everything is okay, and then I’ll be on my way. See you at the office Monday.” Oliver disconnected and pulled out his earpiece.   
Felicity looked at him, hands on her hips, eyebrows raised. “You want to check my apartment?” She said, sounding incredulous.   
“Standard procedure,” he replied, and pushed the elevator button again.   
“You’re not coming up!” she said categorically.  
“Don’t be difficult Felicity,” Oliver said. “It’s just a precaution, and I’ll be gone in no time, so you can relive every precious moment of your ‘date’.” He sounded tired now.   
“Fine!” she snapped. “But you’re not staying for coffee!”


	7. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver realizes he needs to tell Felicity about his past, and how it is affecting his life - especially his love life!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit dark and heavy. Oliver has been saving up for at BIG apology for some time now! He has some explaining to do, and in the very emotional aftermath of Felicity's undercover date, he decides it's time to talk things through.
> 
> So this chapter - not so much fun and action - more of an interlude and a lot of 'filling in the gaps' before next step on the journey :-)

“I’m sorry.”  
The quiet words stopped Felicity dead in her tracks as she stormed into the apartment ahead of Oliver.   
“Sorry, what did you say?” she said, slowly turning around to face him. “Did you just apologize to me?” disbelief was written all over her face.   
“Your obvious shock is a little insulting, you know,” he said in a vague attempt at humor, giving her that almost-there-smile that always made her want to hug him. (‘Not that I’m noticing’ Felicity reminded herself sternly).   
When she didn’t respond he sighed. He stepped back, closed the door quietly, made sure it was locked, then turned back to face her.   
“Look, I am really sorry for the way I acted down in the lobby,” he said looking at her as if hoping for some sort of sign from her.   
She noticed his hand was doing that familiar little twitch. A nervous habit he had. She wasn’t even sure he was aware of it.   
“And I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting lately,” he continued after a slight pause. “I’m not sure why or how but somehow I seem to have developed a real talent for being a gigantic jerk around you - and I really don’t want to be, Felicity,” he said earnestly.   
“You’re this amazingly smart and capable person, and I know you’re absolutely qualified to do this undercover thing. I also know you’re not losing sight of who Palmer is, just because he plies you with champagne and an overdose of his charm.” Oliver sighed again, running a hand through his hair.   
He looked away from her towards the darkened living room, lit only by the lights of the city coming through the windows.

Felicity didn’t move. She seemed to have lost the ability to function, a part of her brain noticed in a strangely objective manner, as she waited for Oliver to continue. 

“Felicity,” he said, his voice all of a sudden hoarse with emotion. “Look, I know I had no right to yell at you about how you acted with Palmer. I completely overreacted, I know that. It’s just that… well, it bothered me. And believe me, I know I have no right to get upset about it – but I did!” He paused to look at her. “And also, you really scared me.”   
When she still didn’t say anything he groaned in exasperation and ran his hands over his face.  
“I was so afraid of what might happen to you when you got in that car, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to protect you, and I guess I just… lashed out. You didn’t deserve that.” He was looking at her intently now.   
“But if you’ll let me, I would like to try and explain why I’ve been acting so…not myself lately,” he finished.  
She could feel his gaze on her. Feel his eyes searching her face, running over her body, burning through the coat she was still wearing.   
“Say something, please,” he finally said when she didn’t respond.  
Felicity let out a breath of air she hadn’t been aware she was holding. Then, without a word, she turned towards the kitchen, opening her coat as she went.   
“I guess you get coffee after all” she said, her back turned to him, as she busied herself with beans and percolator.   
She was aware that she sounded detached but she just couldn’t seem to shake out of the autopilot-mode she was in.   
Probably a result of experiencing a complete emotional overload, and not knowing which emotion to respond to first, a small, analytical part of her brain reasoned.   
Oliver was silent for a little while, clearly not sure which way this was going.   
“Okay,” he said uncertainly, as he watched her move around the kitchen, fetching mugs, taking out milk for herself.  
“Coffee will be ready in a few minutes. Why don’t you go and do that check of the apartment you said you needed to do,” she asked without looking at him, her voice still oddly neutral.   
“I for one am going to need coffee if we’re having this talk now,” she mumbled to herself.   
He processed her reply for a moment. Then he seemed to make up his mind about something. He nodded and headed for the bedroom to start a quick, but thorough, sweep of the apartment.   
***  
Oliver’s search was soon done. The undercover-apartment wasn’t big. Just one bedroom (with a nicely appointed bathroom, Felicity had been pleased to discover), a small living room that opened up into the kitchen and a tiny hallway off to the right of the living room.   
It was never meant to be more than a very temporary home to whoever was on that kind of assignment at any given point. But it had the basic comforts. It was fully – if somewhat sparsely – furnished, with modern, minimalistic and functional pieces. And most importantly, the security in the building was top notch. Queen Security saw to that. And right now Oliver was more than a little pleased that he had that part of the operation under control. At least he could keep her safe here.  
He returned to the living room, content that no one had been in the apartment in her absence. All was secure. She was safe. 

He was gazing out the window, not really seeing the night time beauty of the city-scape below. He was trying to figure out how to tell her what she needed to know. What he needed her to know. 

Lost in thought, he jumped slightly when he suddenly felt her hand on his arm. He turned around to face her. She had taken off her coat and shoes, he noticed, and she didn’t make a sound as she walked around barefoot. Two steaming mugs of coffee sat on the small coffee table – one black, one white. She stepped away from him without a word and settled into the corner of the couch, bare legs curled up under her. She reached for her mug and settled back, cradling the mug in her hands. She took a small sip and closed her eyes, obviously savoring the aroma.  
Oliver devoured the sight of her as if to imprint it on his memory for all times. She had taken down her hair he noticed, and it fell in soft, golden, waves around her face. She looked relaxed, and he felt like he was getting a glimpse of the private Felicity. She was so close and so real, right here in this moment, he thought. It was as if she embodied all the things he wanted, but knew he could never have. A normal life. A family. A partner. Someone to love and share everything with.   
She was also his greatest temptation. She was without a doubt the single most fascinating, infuriating and adorable woman he’d ever met. She was unbelievably brave, she always challenged and surprised him – but in an oddly familiar way – and of course he just couldn’t look at her without wanting to touch her. Even now, he felt like his entire body gravitated towards her of its own volition. He was constantly fighting an urge to pull her into his arms, to touch her hair, to hold her hand. Completely inappropriate impulses towards a friend, let alone a co-worker, he kept admonishing himself. But it didn’t help.   
He sat down on the other end of the couch, facing her, and reached out for his own mug. He didn’t really want coffee right now, he realized, but he needed to keep his hands occupied so he didn’t accidentally reach out for her. Instead he took comfort in the warmth of the mug in his hands, and the fragrant steam rising from the hot, dark, brew.   
“So,” she said after a moment’s silence, her voice soft. “What is it you want to tell me, Oliver?”   
She was looking at him seriously, but she didn’t seem angry he noticed. That was a good start he felt, and probably more than he deserved, given the way he had behaved lately.   
“I’m trying to figure out where to start,” he admitted, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.   
“It’s just…not something I ever really expected to tell anybody, but I think I need to tell you now. You need to know - to understand - why I’m having difficulty being with you.” He paused. “In any way that isn’t just as co-workers or friends.” As he said this last part he looked up to catch her eyes. Felicity was staring back at him. Her eyes had gone very big and dark in her face. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking. She swallowed, but didn’t say anything.   
“Felicity,” he said, “how much do you know about my past?”  
“Not much,” she said. “I know what you’ve told me yourself over the years – which isn’t a lot – and I’ve made some guesses based on the stories I’ve read about you and your family. The media dragged it all up again when you returned home three years ago, remember? They plastered the whole story all over the news again, so I know that version of it.” She took a sip of coffee, before she continued.   
“What I don’t know is whether any of it is true. Of course, I suspect the media only got a fraction of the real story. Besides, the media’s story hardly covers the missing years at all” she finished.   
“And I just happen to know that there’s a surprising lack of information about you online”, she added, in that very precise way she had of speaking when she was either lecturing him or feeling self-conscious.   
She looked at him, her eyes full of questions, but she didn’t ask any of them. She was waiting for him to tell his story.   
So he did.  
***

He told her everything. He started with the part that she knew. The part that was public knowledge. He told her how his family – his mother, his father and his younger sister - had all died eight and a half years ago. They had been the victims of an assassination aimed at his father. His mother and sister had simply gotten in the way of ruthless mercenaries but in the end, they were all dead. His mother had died in the hall way, where she’d gone to answer the door. His sister had died on the staircase, that she had been skipping down to see who was calling. And his father had died slumped over his desk in his library, where the assassins had eventually located him.   
Oliver himself had been out of the house that day. He had been at his friend Tommy Merlyn’s house, supposedly studying for exams, but in reality planning their next glorious night out on the town.   
He still vividly remembered the feeling of reality falling away, the feeling of being trapped in a nightmare that followed him everywhere he went for the next several years. He remembered everything but in a strange out-of-body-kind of way. As if it had happened to someone else.   
The police who came to the Merlyn house to tell him the horrible news; The lawyers and the company execs with all their questions; The distant relatives who flocked to the funeral, all hoping that the wealthy Queen estate would somehow benefit them; The psychologist that someone had decided he had to see to work through the trauma. 

He actually hadn’t really minded the shrink, because at least in her office he’d had peace for an hour twice a week. She allowed him to just sit there and not talk, once she’d asked her string of questions, none of which he ever answered. 

He had been of age when it happened so legally he stood to take over everything. The running of the estate, his father’s company - everything. But up until this point Oliver had lived a very sheltered life, no real responsibilities and absolutely no idea how to step into his father’s shoes.  
He’d had good help in his father’s right hand man at the company. Walter had stepped up and taken over the day to day business of everything, presumably until Oliver could finish his education and take his rightful place as heir to the Queen empire.   
But no one had been aware of just what his father’s legacy entailed.   
As it turned out, the reason his father had been assassinated also came with the inheritance. 

Oliver paused to organize his thoughts for a second as he was about to start in on the part of his story that no one knew about. Sensing his difficulty, Felicity reached out and placed her hand over his. She didn’t say anything, but that simple gesture was enough for him to keep going. He took a deep breath and continued. 

His father had gotten involved with the wrong people – the Chinese Triad - while building his empire, and when he had tried to extricate himself, they retaliated. They wouldn’t allow his exit, partly because they feared he would be more likely to turn on them if he was no longer involved, but mostly because they needed his company as a front for their illegal activities.   
When he didn’t cooperate, the Triad simply decided to remove him, and replace him with his young and pliable son, who would be easier to control. 

Of course Oliver wasn’t aware of any of this until the day of his abduction. Six months after his family’s death, on an ordinary Thursday morning. He had been hung over and skipping classes as usual, and had been heading to his favorite coffee shop when his car had been pushed off the road, and his second nightmare began. 

He had spent the next 5 years in captivity, a prisoner of the Triad, learning all about pain and suffering – both about receiving it and inflicting it. He had been an unwilling student getting an education in violence, torture, manipulation and the general workings of a criminal organization – and the criminal mind. And he had survived. Mainly by playing the part he had been told to play, and being convincing enough for them to trust that they had managed to brainwash their golden goose into submission.   
In the end, they had led him ‘escape’ to return to his home, his company and his old life, but only on the surface. In reality the Triad had expected to control him and his empire.

But they had miscalculated. The Oliver Queen who returned had no intention of remaining their puppet for life. He no longer had any family, he had no interest in the family money, and he no longer cared if he lived or died. He had become a man who had nothing to lose, no one to lose, and no regard for his own life. So he went all in on destroying the people who had destroyed his family and his life.   
Three years later, he hadn’t managed to eradicate the Triad completely, but he had succeeded in taking down those responsible for his family’s death and pulling his father’s company from their grip.   
And by so doing, he had also established himself firmly as an enemy of the Triad. They weren’t actively pursuing him at the moment as far as he knew, but for the rest of his life, he could never completely let his guard down.   
And there were other consequences.   
The five years in their ‘school of crime’, and the subsequent mission to destroy his family’s killers, had left him a dark and damaged version of the man he was before. He may have been spoilt and irresponsible before, but he had been an innocent, and a man who trusted other people. That person was gone forever.  
But most of all, it had left him with the knowledge that he could never – never! - get attached to anyone again, because it would risk their life to be in his, and he couldn’t live with that. And he wasn’t sure that he could live with losing any more loved ones either. 

So instead he had thrown himself into work. Not just his family’s old company but adding on, developing new franchises, particularly his own baby - Queen Security. Here, he had found a way to put his newly acquired skills to good use, and hopefully save others from what happened to him and his family. 

Oliver finished his story, his voice raw with emotion, his eyes haunted by the memories it had brought to the surface. They were never buried deep, but most of the time he managed to repress them.   
But sitting here, cocooned in the semi-darkness and the quiet of the living room with her, he had let it all in again.   
He sighed and felt the tension leave his body. He felt exhausted but also oddly relieved. He had never told anyone the whole story before, and it felt good to finally share the horrors with another human being.  
When he looked at her again, he wasn’t sure what to expect to see in her eyes. Possibly revulsion, fear, or maybe pity? What he had definitely not expected was to see tears trickling down her face, her eyes shining with emotion – and her hands reaching out to him.   
“Oliver” she said, sliding closer to him on the couch, taking his hands in both of hers. “Thank you for telling me this. I know that can’t have been easy.”   
Her voice was soft, and slightly shaky.   
Part of him was terrified that she was going to run away now, but another part was hoping that she would. She would be safer away from him.   
He focused on the sensation of her fingers tracing patterns on his hands. Concentrated on what she was saying.   
“I cannot begin to understand the horrors you’ve been through. My heart is breaking for the boy you were, who went through that hell. But I’m also in awe of the man you’ve become, of the person who came out on the other side.” She smiled at him, and squeezed his hands as if to push her message through.   
“That man deserves so much more than to just float through life alone and detached, scared to connect with anyone for fear of losing them. If you do that, you let them win, Oliver!” she said, her voice intense with her conviction.

He started shaking his head, to object, but she continued.   
“I didn’t know you before. I’m not comparing you to a former version of you. When I look at you now, I see an amazing man. A man who’s strong, smart and caring. Someone who’s capable of great things, who’s fighting for good, and who has sacrificed so much for the sake of others. It doesn’t matter to me if the man I know is the same as the person you once were. I never knew that person. But I know this one.” She paused and looked him in the eyes.   
“And this is the man I fell in love with. The man that you have become, good parts and bad.” She stopped to take a deep breath.   
“I don’t accept that you’re damaged or that it’s too risky to love you, Oliver, and you shouldn’t either!” she said, her voice throbbing with passion.   
Oliver kept very still for a long moment, stunned by her passionate words. He didn’t know what hit him the hardest.   
That she had just told him she loved him?   
That she didn’t find him despicable and repulsive in spite of all the things he had done?   
Or maybe the fact that for a second, he had seen a glimpse of himself as she saw him. And for that second he’d dared to believe that there could be another life for him.   
He was holding on to her hands like they were his lifeline, searching her eyes for any signs of wavering. But he didn’t see anything but utter conviction. She believed in him. He could see that.   
He just wasn’t sure that he did.   
***  
“Felicity! You there?” Barry’s worried face popped around the glass wall separating his lab-station from the array of computer screens and other technical equipment that surrounded her. 

“Earth to Felicity! Do you have that data yet?” Barry came all the way around the partition and leaned against the wall, studying her more closely.   
“Wow! That must have been some date Friday night – you looked miles away,” he added with a smile, not really able to hide his curiosity.   
As her surroundings came crashing back into focus Felicity pressed ‘save’ on the data she’d been working on and tried to smile reassuringly at her new friend.   
“Almost ready” she lied. “I just needed to double check a few facts”.   
Crap! This day dreaming habit was so going to get her fired! And that really wouldn’t be helpful to their assignment. They needed her here – close to their target and in place to raise the alarm if and when.   
Day dreaming about Oliver and his revelations (which was what she’d been doing when Barry had interrupted her) was bad. She needed to get her head on straight and get back to her pretend-job.   
The problem was she hadn’t really been able to think of much besides Oliver since Friday night.   
It was haunting her. At first she had felt better because he had finally chosen to open up to her and trust her with his dark secrets.   
Then she had been horrified at the things he had told her – the things he had been through.   
And then she had understood. She finally knew why he never got involved with anyone. Why he seemed to have no intention of ever entering into a serious relationship.   
And she knew why he still didn’t believe there could be a future for them.   
‘How ironic’, she thought. ‘I finally get him to open up – and it turns out, loving him is just as hopeless as it has always been! Strike three for Felicity Smoak!’  
She sighed. She didn’t for a minute agree with him, that he needed to stay away from people, but she knew he wouldn’t be easy to convince.   
Part of her told her to just power through his defenses – kiss him silly and not let him pull back this time. Clearly the attraction was mutual – she hadn’t been imagining that! He felt it too even he hadn’t admitted as much. Unfortunately he seemed to have some sort of super human ability to stop just when things were about to get interesting, while she was lost as soon as he touched her.   
Chances were she would be the only one left defenseless by that strategy, she thought. It just wasn’t fair!  
Felicity went over Oliver’s story in her head again, absentmindedly nodding and smiling while Barry chattered on about his weekend. She was hoping to find something that could give her a clue, something that could change the way he saw himself.   
“..so I told him I’d ask you for him,” she heard Barry saying, as if from far away.   
“Sorry, what was that?” she asked, feeling guilty for spacing out on him again.   
“Felicity, are you all right?” Barry asked, sounding a little worried now. “You don’t really seem like yourself today. Did something happen over the weekend? Was it Ray? ‘Cause I know he can be a bit intense sometimes, but I think he’s just trying to be friendly,” Barry rambled on.   
“I’m fine Barry,” she said. “I just have a lot on my mind today, that’s all.”   
“So…uh, what was it you promised your friend to ask me?” she asked, making an effort to pull her mind away from Oliver Queen and get back to the mission at hand.   
“Well, like I was saying,” Barry said, “my friend was wondering if maybe you could give him a few pointers? He’s kind of new at coding and he ran into a few problems, and I promised I’d ask you if you could help with a work-around? I mean, you’re this completely awesome computer genius, so I figured you’d know if there was a way.” Barry smiled - a friendly and completely un-complicated smile, she thought.   
It occurred to her that life would be so much easier if only she could have fallen for him instead of Mr. Complicated himself. 

And there was no denying that Oliver Queen was complicated!   
They had talked for a long time Friday night, about lots of things. Silly things, painful things, important things - the barriers had been down for once, as they sat in the dark room for hours, holding hands, talking, learning little things about each other.   
But Felicity was painfully aware that one thing hadn’t been mentioned again that night.   
She had flat out told Oliver that she had fallen in love with him, and he hadn’t commented on that statement.   
Granted, his story kind of did that for him, she reasoned. What with his ‘I’ll-never-let-myself-love-anyone-because-they-could-get-hurt’ speech, she knew he wasn’t going to act on her declaration. But that didn’t mean he didn’t feel anything, she thought.   
Unless it did of course.  
Argh! She was driving herself insane going over this in her mind. It was going to stop right now! She had work to do, a bad guy to catch and she wasn’t getting anywhere driving herself crazy over Oliver.  
With an effort Felicity managed to stuff all things Oliver into an overflowing closet in the back of her mind, and return her focus to Barry.  
“Sure thing, Barry” she said with a smile. “No problem – tell him to call me, and I’ll talk him through it. That should be fun – I like writing code.”   
Then she picked up her tablet and started pulling up the spread sheets she needed.   
She had a presentation to show Ray Palmer this afternoon, and she needed to be prepared. The problem that was Oliver Queen would just have to wait.


	8. Agent Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity finally gets the information they have been looking for...but in the process her cover might hav been blown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So back to the action... 
> 
> Oliver has rules for how things are to be done, and Felicity is a constant challenge to his very ordered world. However, sometimes rules are there for a reason, and sometimes even geniuses slip up.

Felicity swiped her ChemCor employee-card through the reader by the exit, and walked slowly to the staircase for the basement garage. Her heels clicked loudly against the marble floor of the already empty lobby. She couldn’t remember ever being this tired before.

Oliver was right, she thought. This under-cover business really did take it out of you, and she was beginning to feel the effects. The whole charade was just such a strain….

Trying to focus on work, keeping up appearances in front of Barry, all the while trying to figure out how to find the information they needed on Palmer. 

Today had been especially draining. This afternoon she had been in the lion’s den so to speak, while going over her presentation with Palmer. It was the first time she had been alone with him since their work-date on Friday, and it had been a bit awkward at first. But he had been chatty and quickly made her feel at ease. 

Maybe a little too much at ease, she realized in hindsight. 

She had been fending off questions all through her presentation – and not just questions about the results she was showing him. Questions about her. He was being quite nice and charming about it she had thought, but still slightly more probing and personal than you would normally expect from a superior co-worker – and certainly a bit more probing than what was strictly appropriate given the circumstances. 

But then again, if she hadn’t been there to investigate him, she reasoned, she probably would have just assumed that he was interested in her.   
Which, of course, was also pretty inappropriate when you thought about it…

Felicity shook her head at her own tired musings, while she made her way to the lower level of the garage below ChemCor, clutching her car keys in one hand and her over-sized purse in the other. 

If she was being honest with herself, she had to admit, that it had been a close call with Palmer today – but she thought she had handled it rather well.   
At one point during their meeting she had spotted an opportunity and taken advantage of it. She had almost tripped up, but had managed to wiggle out of it, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t caught on to her. 

And now she finally had an actual lead that they could move on, and she was excited to share her news with Oliver and Dig. 

She reached the lower level, pushed open the heavy metal door and stepped out into the garage.   
The dim light of the mostly vacated parking area made her feel like it was the middle of the night, like she was up way past her bedtime. She rolled her shoulders to get the blood flowing, cutting across the concrete floor towards the far corner, where her car was parked. 

It was the stress of being someone else - pretending and lying all the time - that had her so exhausting, she knew. Add to that the emotional roller-coaster this whole thing with Oliver had her on, and it was nothing short of a miracle that she hadn’t collapsed in a gibbering heap already, she thought wryly.

She really needed a quiet evening on the couch now – zapping through mindless TV-shows to give her brain a much needed break from this double-life she was leading. She yawned involuntarily, and thought longingly of soft pillows and tubs of ice cream. 

She just had to get through that eight o’clock conference call with Oliver and Dig, and then it was going to be time for a ‘Felicity special’ – a long, hot, bath followed by an evening spent in her most comfy pajamas, watching TV. The thought alone cheered her up, and she picked up the pace the rest of the way to her car.

As she slid into the driver’s seat, it occurred to her that she hadn’t actually packed her favorite pajamas when they were moving her to the undercover HQ. They were still in the closet back in her apartment.   
‘Dang it!’ she thought. She had really wanted to wrap herself in their familiar comfort tonight.   
She knew it was a childish impulse, but she was completely spent, and just wanted something familiar around her in that sterile, impersonal apartment, that was in itself a constant reminder of her current parallel life. And those pajamas were her comfort-clothes. Sort of like an old teddy bear or a favorite snuggly blanket. 

They were old and faded, made of pink flannel and they had binary code printed all over them! The pajamas had been a present from her old hacktivist group – originally meant to be a joke, but she loved them. They had been washed so many times that in certain places they were threadbare to the point of being see-through, but she couldn’t make herself throw them out. And right now she needed them. 

‘Oh well,’ she thought, as she pulled out of the underground garage and turned into the street. ‘I guess I’ll have to make do with whatever is in that suitcase.’ (The one she hadn’t actually unpacked, she reminded herself – she just couldn’t bring herself to do it). 

She thought longingly of the comfort of her own apartment. ‘It really wouldn’t take long to swing by her place, quickly slip in, fetch the damn pajamas and be out again’, she mused absentmindedly. It would be the work of no more than five minutes – tops! 

On some level Felicity was aware that her tired mind was trying to tell her something, but she was too worn out to pay attention. And apparently her body had already taken over, she realized, as she was steering the car towards the opposite part of town – towards her own apartment. 

‘Oh, what the heck,’ she thought. ‘I’ll go in the back and be super-quick. No one will ever know.’ 

When she got to her apartment, she parked in the back, and sat for a few minutes watching the empty street. There was no one around. No unusual activity or suspicious-looking vehicles. She made a quick decision, locked her car and ran up the backstairs to her door.   
She was in and out of the apartment in under three minutes, the faded pink bundle secure under her arm, as she slipped back into the car.   
She had done a quick sweep of the place but everything seemed to be fine. Her security system had been set, no indication of anyone tampering with anything – everything had looked exactly as she left it. 

‘Then why do I suddenly feel like I’m a walking target’, she muttered to herself, as she fired up the engine and pulled back into the street. She took a deep breath, but couldn’t quiet shake the feeling that someone had been watching her. 

‘You’re being ridiculous,’ she told herself. ‘It’s just Oliver’s worry and paranoia rubbing off on you’, she tried to convince herself. But she wasn’t really buying it. She might just have made a big mistake, she realized – and all for the sake of a pair of pajamas!

***

“Evening Agent Smoak,” Dig’s voice was loud and clear over the speaker. Just the sound of it made her smile.   
“Hi guys,” she said as she sank down onto the couch in her temporary home, clutching her tablet. She dumped the pink pajamas on the table, and settled in for the call.   
Both men greeted her.  
“So,” she said. “I’ve got some news.” The silence on the other end suddenly became tense.  
“Yes?” Oliver said. “What did you find out, Felicity?” He sounded both excited and wary she thought.   
“Well,” she said, clearing her throat. “I had a meeting with Palmer today – a presentation of some data I’ve been working on for him – it’s to do with a different project than the one we’re looking into, though, so nothing very relevant for our purpose at all really,” she babbled on.   
“Felicity!” Oliver’s impatience carried easily over the speaker.  
“Right,” she said, gathering her thoughts. “I was doing my presentation like I said, when he got a call, and had to step out of the office for a few minutes. So I took the opportunity to take a closer look at his files – he left a thumb drive in his computer, the password protection off, you know, so I took the chance and snooped around a bit, and found some encrypted files he had on there…but then he came back and almost caught me so I didn’t get to do a full download,” she finished quickly, glossing over the panicked moment when she had realized she was in a very compromising position behind her boss’ desk.  
“He WHAT?” Oliver yelled. Even Dig was making worried noises.  
“Calm down, guys,” she said. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. I had downloaded most of the files to my tablet, and had just closed up when he got back. But I was in his chair, which, you know, probably looked a little strange, so I dropped a micro-chip on the floor and pretended to be looking for it. It was fine - he even helped me find it,” she explained. “Seriously guys, he didn’t suspect a thing,” she said with more conviction than she really felt. 

‘Probably best not to mention the tense moment when Ray had been standing in the door, glaring at her, or the hurried explanation she had offered – not to mention the flirty little exchange that had followed when Ray found the chip, both of them on the floor, crammed in under his desk,’ she thought. No, best not spill those beans.

“Are you sure, Felicity?” Oliver sounded anxious. “Because if there is any indication – any sign at all – that Palmer might be on to you, I want you out of there.” He said. “I don’t want you taking any chances, do you understand?”

Felicity felt a little guilty at the obvious worry in Oliver’s voice, and a sudden flash of heat spreading through her stomach. 

“Don’t worry,” she said. “It was fine. What’s more important is what I found in the encrypted files,” she continued, trying to sound more business-like.   
“I didn’t get everything, but I think I got enough. You remember how the data I got from his emails and his phone over the weekend gave us some random, un-identified accounts, names and numbers that couldn’t be traced or connected?” she asked.   
“Well, the encrypted files I found today hold the key to that information, I think. With them I’ve managed to pair names and accounts, and what seems to be dates and times. I’m thinking it could be scheduled meetings or drop-offs or something like that.”  
“Good work, Felicity,” Dig said approvingly.  
“Yes, except, we’re going to need some help actually identifying the people that are mentioned here,” she said. “It appears to be code-names, but there are a few things to go on. I was thinking that the guys at NSA could be of assistance with this part? Or… “ she paused, “I could just peak into their systems myself and do a little ‘shopping’ – you know? Borrow some of their software and databases to do the search myself?” she said eagerly. “If you want to keep this in-house, I mean,” she added hopefully.  
“Tempting,” Oliver said, a smile in his voice now. “But given that we’re working with them on this case, I suppose the polite thing to do would be to hand over what we have and let them do the search.” There was a weird echo when he talked, Felicity noticed, but she figured he was just moving around the office.   
“Yeah, I guess,” she said, her disappointment obvious to the two men. “They’re just so slow sometimes. And we can’t be sure they’ll tell us anything they find out.”  
Dig chuckled.   
“Felicity, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of opportunity for you to hack into the NSA databases at some point,” he said. “But this really is their investigation.”   
Dig’s amusement was contagious and Felicity couldn’t help but laugh at herself. Dig was right she knew. 

“Okay then guys,” she said, “I’m really beat and have a hot date with my bath-tub and half a pint of ice-cream… ‘God! that sounded kinky, even to he!’ she thought. “Not that there is any connection between the tub and the ice-cream…or anything hot about it at all, for that matter,” she back-tracked, desperately searching for the off-switch for her mouth.   
She could hear Dig chuckling, and some sort of noise from Oliver. She felt heat rise in her cheeks. Good thing this was only audio and not a video conference she thought.   
“Sure thing Felicity,” Dig said with a laugh. “But you might want to put that agenda on hold for a few minutes.”  
“Oh?” she said, confused. “Why is that Dig?”   
At that moment, there was a pounding on her door. Felicity jumped a little in her seat, and looked towards the hallway, confusion rising.  
“How did you know I was about to have a visitor, Dig?” she asked. “And who is it?   
“Open the door, Felicity”, Oliver’s voice came from outside her front door.   
“I’ll leave you two to it then,” Dig said, clearly amused about something, and then he was gone. 

Felicity disconnected and got up to open the door. Her gaze fell on the pink pajamas. She wondered if she should mention that little side-trip to Oliver, but decided he had enough to worry about already. He would just freak out unnecessarily if he knew, she thought.   
Stretching out the kinks in her neck, she hurried over to open the door. 

***  
Oliver took her in as she stood in the door way, her head tilted in an unspoken question. 

He hadn’t seen her since they’d said good bye Friday night – or Saturday morning really – and he was extremely aware of the hungry way his eyes took in every inch of her. ‘Just checking to see if she’s all right’, he told himself. 

She was still in her work-clothes, with her hair tied back in that ponytail he liked. She looked beautiful, but she also looked tired he noticed with a flash of concern. This whole thing was clearly taking its toll on her. 

“We need to talk,” he said, taking a step towards the door, expecting her to step aside.  
She didn’t move, and suddenly he found himself toe to toe with her, staring down into those familiar blue-grey eyes. 

“What are you doing here Oliver?” she asked, the exhaustion evident even in her voice.  
“I need to talk to you,” he repeated. “I promise it won’t take long – I can see you’re tired,” he added softly. 

“Look,” she said with a sigh. “Today was really…stressful, and all I want right now is to get in the tub, cuddle on the couch and then spend some quality time in bed!” She took in his startled look and he could practically see her mind turning over what she had just said.   
“Alone, I mean,” she added, a blush rapidly creeping up her neck. He would have laughed at her unintended innuendo if he hadn’t still been so scared and angry about what had happened earlier tonight.  
“Oh, never mind,” she said, raising her hands in defeat. “But it’s really not fair to call on me this late after the day I’ve just had. I’m too tired to be held accountable for what comes out of my mouth!” she said, finally taking a step back, allowing him in the apartment. 

Felicity closed the door behind them and walked past him back into the living room. She plunked down on the couch, grabbed a pink bundle from the coffee table, and cradled it in her lap as if for protection.   
Oliver followed her slowly, but stopped a few paces away from the couch, arms folded over his chest, probably sporting a pretty gloomy look on his face, he guessed, judging by her reaction.

“What?” she asked a little belligerently.   
Already on the defensive, he thought with an inwards smile. And he hadn’t even gotten to the tricky part yet. 

“Felicity, what where you doing at your apartment tonight?” he asked, fighting to keep his voice calm. He really felt like shouting right now. She had scared him to death with that stunt. There was a reason he had her moved to the temporary apartment, and she could have exposed herself completely going home like that.  
“What? How? How do you even know I was there?” she asked, the surprise seeming to jolt her awake a little.   
“I followed you,” he said matter of factly, not even bothering to sound a little bit ashamed.  
“You did wha… but why?” Felicity spluttered. “Don’t you trust me?”   
“Trust has nothing to do with it Felicity,” he said. “I’m trying to protect you – from the bad guys I thought, but clearly you need protection from yourself too!” 

‘Like pouring gasoline on a fire,’ he realized just as she flew into action.   
At his words Felicity jumped up from the couch, and was in his face in seconds. 

“Protect me from myself?” she yelled. “What are you talking about – that is so condescending, so patronizing, I…why don’t we just call it what it is, huh Oliver? You’re just being a possessive control freak, that’s what this is!” 

She was absolutely glorious in all her self-righteous indignation, he thought. But that was SO not going to get her off the hook for this, he reminded himself. 

“Felicity!” he yelled, to cut through her onslaught. But she just kept going about how he never trusted anyone else to do the job right, how he just had to control every little detail, and how he couldn’t share responsibility. Oliver listened for a few minutes, waiting for her to take a break. He finally gave up, grabbed her arms and pulled her in close to get her attention. 

“Felicity,” he repeated, looking into her eyes – and belatedly realized his mistake. Her eyes were blazing with anger, and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. And this close up, he just couldn’t help but let his eyes drop to her mouth. Those soft, pink, lips just inches away from his.   
‘Oh, I’m so screwed!’ was his last thought, before he bent his head and shut her up with a kiss. 

For a second she was perfectly still, then she sighed a little, and practically melted in his arms. He pulled her in, one hand coming up to tangle itself in her ponytail, the other on the small of her back, pulling her ever closer. He took his time, kissing her slowly, tasting her, breathing her in as if they had all the time in the world. 

He felt her hands wander up his back, felt her press her body to his, in response to his need and he kissed her deeper. He gave in to his senses, forgetting everything but the way her body fit into his, the way their tongues danced together, the way her nails scratched lightly over the back of his neck. His hands were roving all over her, pulling her closer, tracing every curve, as if to memorize her body. 

When he finally had to come up for air, he pulled back a little to look at her. She opened her eyes slowly, looking back at him, her gaze dark and stormy, both of them breathing heavily. 

“That is an unfair way to end an argument, Mr. Queen,” she said, her voice husky but no longer angry.   
Oliver smiled down at her. At least she was going for a joke, he thought with relief.   
“If it’s any consolation,” he said, “I’m not sure who won.” 

Then he took a deep breath. With an effort he released her and stepped back.   
“I’m sorry,” he said “I shouldn’t have done that.” This was getting to be a bad habit, he thought distractedly. Although, he wasn’t entirely sure if he meant kissing her or apologizing for it.

He ran a hand through his hair, and tried to get back to what he had been saying before he so rudely had interrupted the conversation.  
“What I was trying to say, is that, the whole point of this apartment is that no one can make a connection between your undercover identity and your real identity. But if someone had followed you today, and seen you go into your own building, you could have been exposed. I’m pretty sure no one else was there, so I don’t think anything happened, but please don’t do that again Felicity,” he pleaded.

“What was so important you had to go there anyway?” he asked, curious now that the initial fright and anger had been diffused.

She was hugging herself, and looking even more tired and forlorn than when she first opened the door. It was all he could do to just stand still and wait for her reply. Every instinct was screaming at him to pull her back into his arms and comfort her. 

“It was silly,” she said. “I wasn’t thinking. I had a rough day, and needed something that I left behind when we packed. So I went to get it,” she said indicating the pink bundle on the couch. “I won’t go back there until this is all over” she finished. 

He nodded. He wasn’t really sure what to do now. Coming over here had probably been unnecessary. He could have cleared this up over the phone. But not seeing her every day was hard. 

Oliver sighed, and placed a hand on her shoulder, making her look up at him again.   
“With the information you got today, I expect we’re almost there”, he said. “So just be careful from now on, okay?” he asked softly.

He bent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Then he turned and left. 

***  
“Still no word from her, Dig?” Oliver asked over the com, as he rapidly made his up the back stairs to the undercover apartment, his growing concern clear in his voice. It was early Wednesday evening, and Oliver was pretty sure he was about to suffer either cardiac arrest or a nervous breakdown – possibly both. 

“Nothing,” Dig’s reply sounded in his ear. “Maybe she’s just late getting home from work – if Palmer has her working on something important she might need to work late, and she can’t very well call if he’s right on top of her – figuratively speaking.” Dig was trying to come up with reasonable explanations for the radio silence that Felicity had been keeping since yesterday afternoon. 

The last they had heard from her was when she called during her coffee break Tuesday afternoon, to report that things were completely normal at ChemCor, no sign that Palmer was aware that she had tampered with his computer or phone. 

However, she had mentioned that Palmer wanted her assistance on another project and that she might be late getting back to the apartment that night. They had agreed that she could just check in when she had the chance, rather than set a time for a conference call as usual. 

It hadn’t appeared that there was cause for concern at the time.  
Now Oliver wasn’t so sure.   
It had been more than 24 hours since they last heard from her.

Dig had already checked with his contact at ChemCor, and their log showed that she had signed in for work that morning as usual. The strange thing was that there was no sign of her logging out the previous night. That could be explained by her walking out with someone else of course, and forgetting to swipe her card. But since she hadn’t checked in with either of them the previous night or this morning, it was definitely cause for concern. 

They had a very firm policy of always, always, keeping each other up to date on their whereabouts and status during an assignment, and 24 hours was too long to go without signing in. Something had to be keeping her from calling, and Oliver was getting seriously worried. 

Which was why he was at that very moment, taking the stairs to the apartment - two steps at a time - instead of using the front door and the elevator access.   
Felicity was going to be mad as hell, he knew, if she was in there, quietly preparing dinner, when he barged in. But he could live with that. Right now he was actually kind of hoping to interrupt her dinner and get yelled at.   
Better that, than the alternative that was playing in his mind. 

At the landing on her floor, he paused and listened for movement. There was no one in sight, and the only sound was the noise from a TV from an apartment two doors down.   
Oliver listened at the door for a few minutes but heard no sound from inside the apartment. He silently slid in the spare key, and opened the door. The door opened without a sound. 

There were no lights on inside, but enough light spilled through the windows from the city below.   
Oliver started moving through the apartment looking for signs of her, of anything that could explain where she might be. Dig could be right of course, and she might still be at work, but something told him that wasn’t the case.

In the bedroom he found a pair of old pink pajamas with a strange print on them, balled up on the unmade bed, as if she had been in a hurry to get out of the door in the morning. But he couldn’t tell if they were from last night or the night before.   
It was clear though, that no one had been in here for hours. 

In the bathroom, the tiles in the shower were dry, and so was her toothbrush – but that was to be expected he tried to tell himself. She was at work and hadn’t been here all day, he reasoned with himself. 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.   
Oliver froze for a second. Then he rushed to the front door to peek through the peep-hole at whoever was calling. 

A young man was standing outside. He looked slightly familiar, but Oliver was fairly sure he had never actually met him. He debated with himself for a minute but then decided he might learn something from the guy.

Oliver opened the door and looked at the stranger, questioningly.   
The guy looked taken aback, and double-checked the number on the front door.   
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I was looking for Meghan Seldon – I thought this was her apartment. I must have gotten the number wrong. Do you know which apartment she’s in?” the man said. 

He seemed friendly enough, and he looked completely harmless, Oliver thought. But as a rule he went by better safe than sorry – and right now, he needed all the reassurance he could get.   
“Who’s asking?” he said, not in the friendliest tone he realized as he saw the startled look on the younger man’s face.   
“I’m a colleague of hers – from ChemCor? My name is Barry Allen,” he said.   
That must be why he had looked familiar, Oliver realized. He had probably seen a security clearance file on this Barry Allen-guy from back when he had been hired. 

“I was just worried about her because she didn’t show up for work today,” Barry was saying. “I wanted to make sure that she was all right. She didn’t call in sick or anything,” he carried on. Then he stopped as if realizing that he might be sharing some pretty personal information with a complete stranger. 

"Wait, what?” Oliver snapped, suddenly paying close attention to Barry again.   
“Did you just say that Meghan didn’t come in to work today?” he asked – although Barry Allen seemed to have heard it as ‘I’m-going-to-beat-you-senseless-if-you-don’t-tell-me-what-I-want-to-know’, judging by the look on the other man’s face. 

“Sorry,” Oliver back-tracked. “Why don’t you come in? This is Meghan’s apartment – I’m actually here checking up on her myself.”

Barry Allen didn’t look too eager to step into the dark apartment. Oliver made an effort to unfreeze the scowl on his face and be friendly.   
“Look,” he said in a calmer tone. “I’m just here because I’m worried about her myself – my name is Oliver,” he continued, “and I’m a friend of hers. She was supposed to get in touch with me but I haven’t heard from her in a while”

He stepped back to let the other man in, switching on the lights as he went. 

Barry Allen followed him in, still a bit hesitant, and clearly not comfortable with the situation.

“So,” Oliver said, turning around to face the other man again. “You work with Meghan?”  
“Yes, for a few weeks now,” Barry said. “She just started at ChemCor, but we work closely together, and I was just worried when no one had heard from her. I know she’s new in town, and doesn’t really know anyone here” he looked speculatively at Oliver. “So I thought I’d swing by to check up on her…like I said.”   
“When was the last time you saw her exactly?” Oliver asked, trying hard not to sound like he was interrogating the man.   
“Yesterday afternoon,” Barry said. “She went out for coffee, and when she got back she was assigned to this other project with our boss – it’s in a different lab, so I didn’t see her for the rest of the day. And she wasn’t in today. I checked,” he added. “We were supposed to have lunch together, so I was worried when she didn’t show. And that’s when I found out she hadn’t been in at all, and no one had heard from her.”

“Now I’m afraid something has happened to her,” Oliver heard Barry Allen say, as if from a long way off, his voice echoing off the walls of the empty apartment. 

‘So this is what a heart attack feels like’, he thought as he felt ice-cold dread spreading throughout his stomach and seeping into his muscles, paralyzing him.


	9. The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Oliver is losing his mind with worry over Felicity and getting ready to rip the city apart to find her, Felicity is doing her smart-girl thing to try and get out of the situation she's landed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So time for a little action! 
> 
> I always felt that Felicity could do with more action time - not that she needs to kick ass, but she can out-smart the baddies any day :-)
> 
> Whether Oliver can handle it is a different story though....

Felicity slowly opened her eyes and tried to get her bearings. Something wasn’t right. This wasn’t her bedroom. It wasn’t even her temporary under-cover bedroom. And she wasn’t in a bed. 

In fact, she was pretty uncomfortable. Her entire body felt sore and her head was pounding like she had a hangover – but that couldn’t be. She hadn’t been drinking, she thought sluggishly. 

She looked around, searching for anything familiar to give her a clue. She couldn’t see much from where she was lying except that she was on a bare mattress on the floor, facing a wall.

Felicity tried to sit up.

That was when she discovered that her wrists were tied together behind her back. She struggled to sit, and realized that her ankles too were tied tightly with cable ties. 

‘Well, that explains the aching body,’ she thought wryly, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her bruised wrist and ankles. The fuzziness in her head was slowly lifting and her situation was beginning to register.

She wriggled around a bit to sit more comfortably, her back resting against the cold brick wall, and began a more thorough investigation of her surroundings. 

She was in a big, square room, with concrete floor, bare brick walls and a row of narrow, barred, windows with opaque glass up near the ceiling. Too high up for her to reach, she thought. There was a heavy-looking metal door in the far right corner of the room, but no furniture or fixtures of any kind. The only light came from the row of windows, and judging by the muted glow it must be late afternoon or early evening.

She guessed that she was in a basement or warehouse of some sort. 

“So that sort of takes care of the ‘where’,” she mumbled. 

As for the ‘why’, well, if the ties around her wrists and ankles were any indication, she was being held prisoner by someone, and it wasn’t hard to guess who that someone was - Ray Palmer. 

She tried to think back to last things she remembered… 

She vaguely recalled talking to Palmer in the lab, when he was giving her the run-down of the new project he was assigning her to. She had wondered why the rest of the team wasn’t working on this and had started to worry that something was wrong. 

She remembered him putting his hand on the back of her shoulder and feeling a slight prick, and then …nothing! Her memory was blank. She had no idea what had happened after that – or how long it had been since that exchange. 

She should be terrified, a voice in the back of her mind informed her, but she felt surprisingly calm. But then again – it could just be the effect of whatever drug he must have slipped her, she reasoned. 

It was just that even though the rational part of her brain knew that Ray Palmer was in business with bad people - and obviously was severely lacking in both judgement and morals – the more emotional part of her, just couldn’t see him as the kind of person who would actually hurt her. He had seemed to really like her, Felicity thought. 

Still, being tied up in a basement wasn’t a good sign, she decided, and she really needed to find a way out of there to warn Oliver. 

Oliver! The thought of him jolted her still somewhat foggy mind completely awake. Oliver needed to know that Palmer was very much on to her! ‘Probably the understatement of the year,’ the voice in her head commented drily. Oh crap! He would be so disappointed in her, she thought. 

Felicity started wriggling her hands to see if she could loosen the ties. They didn’t give at all. She only managed to cut herself, intensifying the throbbing in her wrists. 

She examined the ties that were painfully cutting into the skin around her ankles and decided she had to find something to cut them with, or perhaps something sharp to rub them against, till they broke apart. 

She was just rolling onto her knees in an attempt to get up, when lights came on and the door opened behind her. 

“Good, you’re up”, a voice said cheerfully. Ray Palmer strolled into the room, placing a straight-backed kitchen chair a few meters away from the mattress. He straddled the chair, resting his arms on the back of it, and looked her over. 

“Headache?” he asked in mock concern. “Yeah, the drug will do that to you,” he said in a carefree tone. 

“What did you give me?” Felicity croaked, her throat dry and scratchy. 

“Just a little something I’ve been experimenting with,” Palmer replied. “I was actually kind of curious about how long it would take you to regain consciousness –I’m still working out the dosage” he continued, as if they were talking about a lab experiment. 

‘Great, I’m a lab rat now,’ Felicity thought distractedly, while another part of her mind was furiously trying to think of ways to get out of this situation. “Any side effects I should know about? Should I be worried about turning green or growing horns?” she asked snippily, surprised to discover that she was actually feeling more irritated than scared.

Ray smiled an incongruously pleasant smile, and wriggled his finger at her, but didn’t answer. 

He was looking very pleased with himself right now, and Felicity was quickly revising her initial assessment of him. He was more than a little creepy, and she was becoming more certain with every passing moment, that he would be only too capable of hurting her. 

“Why are you doing this to me?” she asked, thinking it would be best to keep him talking. 

He barked out a laugh and shook his head at her. “You know very well why you’re here, Meghan,” he said.   
“Or should I call you Felicity?” 

‘Oh, more crap!’ Felicity thought. So he didn’t just know that he was being investigated – he also knew who she was. Now she was beginning to wonder just how much he really knew… 

“The question you should be asking is, what am I going to do about you Miss Smoak? See, I have a problem,” Ray continued. “I’ve got you – and I can pretty much guess what information you’ve been able to get with those little spy-ware devices of yours, which – believe me – is annoying as hell!” he said irritably.

“But what I don’t know is, who else knows, and how much do they know.” Ray looked at her speculatively for a minute. Then he got up, pushed the chair aside and in two long strides he was looming over her.

He grabbed her painfully hard by the arms and hauled her to her feet, looking her straight in the eyes, with a shockingly cold glare. 

She’d never really noticed how protruding his eyes were, she thought, in a weirdly objective way. ‘Huh! Am I having an out-of-body experience here?’ she wondered. If so the timing was really lousy. She had to get her head together. 

“So I’m going to need you to fill in the blanks, Felicity,” Ray was saying in a low voice, made all the more menacing by his complete lack of emotion.   
“Now, I’d like to make this as painless as possible, but it’s really up to you. You can either tell me what I need to know, or I’ll hand you over to some …associates… of mine, who are very good at extracting information,” he said, making it sound like he was giving her a choice of lab assignments – not a choice between quick death or torture, Felicity thought.

The cliché of it all would have been funny if she hadn’t been so scared in that moment. 

But she didn’t feel like laughing at all. All she could concentrate on was the ice cold fear spreading through her body, as Palmer marched her to the chair and started tying her to it. 

***

Oliver was pacing the floor of his office like a caged animal, the look on his face warning anyone from entering. 

His obvious imminent melt-down certainly had Barry Allen intimidated into silence. Oliver had brought him back from the apartment, having made a quick decision to tell him the truth about what they were doing, thinking that Barry’s knowledge of ChemCor and Palmer could be useful.

Now the younger man sat very quietly on the couch by the window, trying his best not to draw attention to himself.

Oliver on the other hand, was absolutely boiling with pent up anger and frustration - but mostly with fear. 

Fear for Felicity. He could not forgive himself for putting her in this situation. He kept going over the whole operation in his mind, trying to figure out what he could have done differently, berating himself for letting her go through with this in the first place. 

His pacing was brought to an abrupt halt when Dig entered with the latest update from their ChemCor contacts. Oliver was in his face before he was even in the door. 

But before he could say anything, Dig raised a hand and gave him a stern look. “Just listen, Oliver – and calm down.” he said. “Take a deep breath. You’re no good to anybody like this.” 

Oliver glared at him and was about to launch into yet another tirade about how they should have never let her go undercover in the first place, and how he needed to be out there looking for her – not stuck in an office waiting for news. But Dig seemed to read his mind and cut him off.

“Look, man, we’re doing everything we can, but it’s no good to go barging through the city kicking down doors randomly. We need more intel,” Dig tried reasoning with him.

“He has Felicity, Dig” Oliver snarled. “I can’t just sit around and wait – I need to go, I need to do something to find her!” He was almost yelling now. 

Oliver was struggling to calm down, but judging by the look on his friend’s face he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.   
He knew Dig was right - he needed something to go on. But he was losing his mind with fear that every passing moment was putting her in greater danger, that every minute they spend searching, was a minute she could be in pain. 

He kept picturing her at her desk, blond ponytail bobbing when she moved, blue eyes, smiling at him through those smart-sexy glasses of hers, nimble fingers tapping away at a keyboard – and those sassy come-backs she always had…

Oliver groaned and rubbed his hands over his face, as if to wipe away the emotional turmoil he was in. ‘Not her,’ her kept repeating to himself. ‘Please, not her.’ 

He kept pushing away the worst-case scenarios that presented themselves to him. He refused to even think about the possibility that they could be too late – he couldn’t allow that thought in, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to function once that happened. 

He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

“Okay,” he said, tension rolling off him in waves. “What have we got Dig?” 

Dig went over the information from ChemCor first. Their entrance-log had showed that Felicity had entered the building that morning, but no one had seen her – as Barry Allen had informed them – and the security cameras had no recording of her from that day either. 

It would seem that Palmer – or someone - had swiped her card, to make it look as if she had come to work, perhaps to buy more time before anyone started looking for her.   
The security footage from the night before didn’t show her leaving the building either, so presumably she had been taken sometime between re-entering the building after her coffee break Tuesday afternoon and normal closing time Tuesday evening. 

“So even by the most optimistic timeline Felicity was taken more than 24 hours ago,” Oliver summed up, his voice raw with anger. He felt an urgent need to punch someone – or to be precise: he felt the need to crush Ray Palmer! 

“Her phone and tablet are missing too,” Dig carried on. “So if we’re lucky she has them with her – or at least she had them when she disappeared.” 

“She disabled the tracking device in her phone when she went on that road-trip with her mother,” Oliver said. “But I made sure she reactivated it before going on this assignment. Any news on that?” he asked, hoping against hope that the signal would have suddenly sprung to life.

“Sorry, nothing yet” Dig said despondently. “Either Palmer has deactivated the device or she’s in a location where the signal can’t penetrate.”

Just then there was a notification of incoming video-feed on Oliver’s screen. 

“Do we have anyone with live cameras out there tonight?” Dig asked in surprise, as Oliver opened the notification.

“No,” Oliver replied tersely. “The only camera out there is the one in Felicity’s necklace – the one she wore Friday for the date?” 

“Barry,” he said with sudden inspiration, turning to look at the man on the couch. “Do you remember whether Felicity was wearing a necklace at work yesterday?”

Barry looked thoughtful for a second. “I think so,” he said. “She was wearing the same one she’s been wearing since Friday I think,” he continued. “A silver chain with a pendant that has some stones on it?”

“That’s the one Dig,” Oliver said, turning back to Dig. “If we’re lucky this feed is from her necklace – at least we’ll have visual - that should tell us something. Do you know if there’s any way to trace the feed?” he asked.

“That’s Felicity’s area of expertise, Oliver” Dig said. “But it must be transmitting somehow, so probably? I can ask some of the guys in tech.” 

“Maybe I can help?” Barry Allen’s voice interrupted their brainstorming again. Oliver and Dig both turned around to face him. 

“What’s that Barry?” Oliver said. “You know anything about tracking transmissions?”

“Well, not as such,” Barry said, a little hesitant in the face of Oliver’s volatile state. “But I do know a few things. Maybe if you tell me a little about the camera Megh…I mean Felicity, is using I can look into it?”

Without a word Oliver got up and fetched his lab top. Placing it squarely in front of Barry, he opened Felicity’s protocols on the camera. 

“Please,” he said in a strained voice. “Anything you can do.”

At that moment, the video-feed came through and opened in a new window on Oliver’s screen. 

The three men had a visual of an empty basement, and the front of a man’s jacket. Ray Palmer’s jacket it turned out seconds later when he stepped away and faced the camera – or rather Felicity, Oliver thought, grinding his teeth.

“Way to go Felicity!” Dig said to the screen, where the image bobbed wildly as Felicity was apparently moving around.

“That’s my girl!” Oliver said quietly to the screen, not sure whether relief or worry was winning top spot on his emotional charter just then.

Then he jumped up, ready to go. “Can you track it Barry?” Oliver barked, eyes glued to the screen, looking for clues to the location.

“Well, I think it might be possible to…” Barry mumbled, busily typing away at the lab-top. “I think I have it,” he said. “Felicity has this program on here that seems to do the job – we just need to run it, and...”

“Just do it, Barry!” Oliver snapped.

He didn’t take his eyes off the screen that was now showing Ray Palmer’s angry face full on - and covered in blood! 

‘Oh, dear God – had she done that? And if so, what would Palmer do to her now? Had he already done something?’ Oliver’s mind was running amok with nightmare scenarios. 

Then the camera angle shifted again, as Palmer bent over her, and only his chest was visible. 

“You get away from her, you psycho!” Oliver yelled at the screen helplessly as all he could do was watch. 

“Got it!” Barry said proudly behind him. “The signal is coming from an address about 5 miles from ChemCor.”   
“Wait a minute,” he added in a distracted tone. “I know this place – this is the warehouse where we recently purchased storage space for one of Palmer’s products.”

He looked up, just in time to see Oliver running out the door, Dig close on his heels. 

“So I’ll just wait here then?” he asked the empty office. 

***

Felicity’s hands were sweaty. She never had sweaty hands, but right now they were definitely sweaty. She knew she needed to find a way to let Oliver know where she was, to warn him. 

She had no idea where Palmer had stashed her phone and tablet, but they weren’t in the room, and she had little doubt that whatever Palmer had done with them, he had most certainly deactivated the tracking device. 

But it would seem that Palmer hadn’t caught on to the camera in her necklace. She just needed to find a way to turn it on – but with her hands tied behind her back that was a little tricky. She had tried twisting herself into a pretzel on the mattress but she just hadn’t been able to get to the necklace. 

Palmer was moving her to the chair, and plunked her down unceremoniously, when she realized, that in order to tie her to it securely, he would have to cut the wrist- and ankle-ties.

Felicity had no illusions of her own ability when it came to fighting – she might be superwoman with a computer, but she was no fighter - and Ray was almost twice her size, standing 6 feet tall and powerfully built at that. 

But she had been paying attention when Oliver and Dig had practiced their fighting for the past three years. Well, okay most of the time she had just been enjoying the sight of Oliver’s gloriously chiseled naked torso while he moved with animal graze, powerful muscles tensing and relaxing as he worked through the routines. 

She couldn’t believe she would never get to see that again, Felicity thought regretfully.   
Oliver working out.   
Oliver practicing sword-fight.   
Oliver glistening with sweat…   
‘Snap out of it, Felicity!’ her mind yelled at her. 

In spite of the distractions, she had picked up a few things over the years. Dig had even given her a few lessons in self-defense from time to time. Sort of a ‘fighting for dummies’, she figured, but the point wasn’t for her to take down trained killers. The point was staying alive long enough for others – for Oliver – to come to her rescue. 

Remembering Dig’s lessons now, she seized the opportunity the minute Ray cut her wrist-ties. 

She let herself fall forwards into his chest propelling herself upwards with her still tied feet, knocking him hard under the chin with her head. 

She heard the sound of his teeth slamming together, and a muffled cry. Then they were in a tangled heap on the floor, Felicity sprawled on top of a now cursing and bleeding Ray. 

She knew she had no chance of running with her feet still tied, but her hands were free for the moment, and she quickly pushed off the ground and stood up. She turned away from Ray, and pretending to straighten her glasses, she absentmindedly pulled on her necklace, turning the tiny camera on. 

Ray was off the floor almost as quickly and yanked her back violently by her hair. 

“That was really, really dumb Felicity,” he whispered, his face - now sporting a bloody and already swelling lip - only inches from hers. “This could have been over for you in no time, and without much discomfort. But now I’ll let my friends deal with you.” He was so angry he practically spat in her face. 

Felicity didn’t respond. Oliver would come for her. It was just a question of time. She just had to hang in there till he could get to her, she silently repeated as a mantra to herself over and over again, to keep calm. 

Palmer was on the phone now, yelling in a language she didn’t know, but it sounded Asian to her. He was clearly not happy with the turn of events and was shooting her angry looks, while dabbing at his split lip with his sleeve. Then he walked to the door and left, slamming it behind him. She could her him locking and bolting the door from the outside. 

Felicity sighed in relief. She was SO not in the clear yet, she knew, but she had bought a little time, and hopefully Oliver could get to her before it was up. 

In the meantime, she had to try and work out a way to help herself, she realized. “Come on, think Felicity”, she mumbled to herself. “What can I do...?” 

For lack of other options, she started rocking back and forth on the chair, trying to loosen the ropes. 

She wasn’t sure how long she had been working the ropes when she heard it. Loud noises from outside the basement. Yelling and crashing sounds. 

‘Here he comes,’ she thought, suddenly feeling completely calm again, secure in the knowledge that Oliver was just outside, coming for her. 

She started rocking the chair harder, having noticed a slight wobble in the front legs. As the legs came crashing down on the concrete floor one more time, the front part of the chair came apart, and Felicity fell to the hard ground on her knees. Pain flashed through her right leg, but she hardly noticed. Her legs were free, and she could get up. 

She was just getting to her feet when the door flew open, and Oliver came charging in. 

***

“Felicity!” 

Oliver shouted her name, as he blasted through the door, and into the room, that he had already memorized from the video-footage. 

He took in the entire room in a split second, before his eyes fell on her. She was standing by the far wall, in a heap of wood and ropes – her hands behind her back. Her hair was in disarray, blood ran down her right leg, and there was a large blood-stain on the front of her pink shirt. But she was alive. 

Oliver took it all in as he ran to her – and then he had her. She was in his arms, and he felt a huge burden lifting, as she smiled at him.

“I knew you’d come for me,” she said simply.

“Always,” he replied looking into her eyes.

“Are you all right,” he asked urgently, holding her at arms length to get a look at her. “The blood...?” he asked, as renewed worry crept into his eyes.

“Not mine,” she said. “Well, the blood on my shirt isn’t mine – I think I’ve scraped my knee and my wrists are bleeding a bit, but it’s nothing.”

“Here, let me see,” he said and reached for her hands – only to discover they were still tied behind her back to a piece of the chair. He hurriedly untied her, and proceeded to examine her wrists. 

Oliver felt the anger bubbling to the surface all over again as he saw the angry red swelling around her wrists, where her delicate skin was raw, bruised and bleeding in places. His jaw clenched, and he really wished there was a reason for him to punch Ray Palmer – again. But the man was already unconscious and lying bound and gagged in the hallway, where Dig was keeping an eye on him. 

Instead he concentrated on her. Oliver pulled her back into his arms, bringing her face to rest against his neck, as he stroked her hair. 

“What did he do to you?” he asked, aware that his voice was still raw with anger and worry. 

“I’m all right, “she said her words muffled against his neck. “He drugged me with something, and I only woke up a few hours ago. I have a headache, and I’m sore everywhere, but other than that I’m fine, I think.” Felicity finished with a sigh, relaxing for the first time since waking up in that basement. “I wonder if I can sue him for ruining my favorite shirt though,” she mumbled. “He got blood all over me.”

Oliver chuckled, and gently rubbed her arms to bring circulation back.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he said with a smile. It was one of his favorites too – but she didn’t need to know that. He had always loved the way that fitted, pink shirt made the blue in her eyes pop – and the girly color combined with the severe cut was somehow just so sexy. So her. He had lost count of the times he’d thought about opening those buttons, one at a time, slowly revealing… 

Dig appeared in the doorway, bringing him crashing back to the moment. 

“They’re on their way, Oliver” he said. Then he took a step into the room, and cocked his head. “Are you okay Felicity?” he asked.

“Fine, Dig – thanks,” Felicity said, lifting her head to look around him. “Just a bit tired now, really – who’s on their way? And where’s Ray?” she asked with a frown looking from one man to the other. 

“The NSA-guys are on their way,” Dig clarified. “And Ray is…unavailable at the moment,” he said with a crooked smile. “And he will be for a very long time!” Dig suddenly looked dangerous.

“You didn’t kill him, did you?” she gasped.

Oliver snorted. “No,” he said. “But only because Dig wouldn’t let me! He’s just unconscious, and bleeding a little bit.”

“Although most of the bleeding is your doing actually,” he smiled down at her, feeling both insanely proud of the way his IT-girl had handled herself and absolutely terrified at the thought of what could have happened to her. 

“But much as I applaud you giving him that split lip, would you please let me and Dig take down the bad guys from now on? You very nearly gave me a heart attack when I saw that bloody face of his on the video, looming over you, with murder in his eyes.” Oliver shuddered and held her tighter.

“Yeah, I wasn’t too crazy about that moment myself,” she said with a tired smile. “But I had to distract him so I could turn the camera on.”

“Speaking of,” Dig said from the doorway where he was observing the two of them with a smug smile on his face. “That was brilliant, Felicity – good thinking to keep that necklace on. It pretty much saved your life I think. It gave us a way to track you.”

Felicity smiled, and started to pull out of his arms. He really didn’t feel like letting go of her, he realized, but she clearly felt babied enough. 

She’d only taken one step away from him however, when she faltered and wobbled on her legs, as if her knees were made of Jello.

Oliver barely caught her when her knees buckled under her. He resolutely swept her up in his arms, and studied her now pale face. 

“We need to get her out of here Dig,” he said. “And I want a doctor to check up on her.” 

“Don’t need a doctor,” Felicity mumbled, “I’m just a little tired.” But her face was ghostly white all of a sudden, and she didn’t argue when he proceeded to carry her to the van, parked out back. She just rested her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes.


	10. The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a brief 'after the storm' episode, and a chance for Oliver and Felicity to finally work things out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is just a very brief chapter, that is sort of tying up Felicity's kidnapping and giving Oliver the opening he needs. 
> 
> Question is - will he take it? 
> 
> Also, I'm on holiday, so this week's chapter is very short (sorry) and it'll be about 10 days till the next up-date - sorry, but good things are coming!!! :-)

The office was mostly dark, lit only by a few lamps here and there, but it still looked like home, Felicity thought, when Oliver finally deposited her on the couch in his office.

He hadn’t let go of her once since she’d almost collapsed on the floor on the basement where Palmer had held her. He had carried her to the van, and held her in his arms the entire time, while Dig drove them through the quiet streets.

He hadn’t said much, just given her worried looks, and a couple of times he’d pressed a kiss to her forehead and mumbled something, too low for her to make out the words. 

And she hadn’t had the energy to ask. The whole ordeal had apparently drained her more than she had originally thought, and she was suddenly completely exhausted. 

She had been happy to just sit there, feeling safe and cared for, not willing to burst the bubble of intimacy that the dark interior of the van provided around them. 

She knew they had things to discuss – that tings were in no way resolved between them – but it would have to wait. For the moment she just enjoyed being in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder, and breathing in his scent.

Dig had called the doctor from the car. She had only been half listening to Dig’s side of the conversation, paying more attention to the way Oliver’s hard, muscled arms felt around her, and how his heart was beating steadily under her cheek. 

Now, back in the office waiting for the doctor to arrive, Oliver loomed over her, as if he was afraid she would keel over if he left her side. 

She didn’t complain. If he felt the need to be close she wasn’t going to argue. There were limits to how principled a girl could be, she reasoned – especially after the whole Palmer-ordeal. 

Felicity leaned back on the couch and sighed. 

“Are you all right?” Oliver asked for the gazillionth time. He seemed to think that every sound she made was a sign that she was in agony or something, she noticed, slightly amused. 

“I’m fine Oliver,” she said, surprising even herself with how scratchy her voice was. She sounded like she had eaten glass, she thought a little startled. 

“Maybe a little thirsty,” she added, suddenly feeling parched as if she had hiked the Sahara – lengthwise! 

‘Not too surprising really,’ she thought after doing the math. Her last drink had been coffee Tuesday afternoon – she was probably pretty dehydrated by now, which would explain the dizziness and fatigue. 

Oliver hurried to the small bar-fridge in the corner, to get her a bottle of water. She followed him with her eyes, but got side-tracked when she noticed the figure leaning against the desk, arms crossed over his chest, looking very awkward and out of place. 

“Barry?” she croaked. “What are you doing here? How do you…?” Felicity looked at Oliver in confusion.   
“Hi Felicity,” Barry said with a shy smile, raising his shoulders in an ‘I-don’t-know-anything’-gesture.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that,” Oliver said, walking back to her with the ice-cold bottle. 

Felicity was momentarily distracted from the questions her mind was throwing at her, as she watched condensation forming droplets on the bottle, rolling down over Oliver’s hand. For a second she couldn’t decide what she wanted more – to empty the bottle in one go or to lick the drops off his hand…

‘Oh, stop it!’ she admonished her easily distracted mind. ‘It’s just the dehydration talking’, she told herself, shaking her head slightly. 

Oliver opened the bottle and handed it to her with a tight smile. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have thought to bring water in the van.” 

Felicity shook her head at him, but was too busy drinking to reply. Oh God! The water was so good! Felicity was soon debating with herself whether she really needed to breathe or if she could just ignore that impulse and keep drinking the deliciously cold water. In the end the need for oxygen won out and she had to pause. 

“Don’t apologize Oliver,” she panted, hungrily eyeing what was left in the bottle. “ ‘s not you who’s kept me drugged and dried out.”

Felicity continued drinking, but gestured with her empty hand towards Barry, raising her eyebrows at Oliver in a way that didn’t need translation.

“Right,” Oliver said. “Barry. Yes, well, I sort of picked him up when I went looking for you at the apartment. I thought he could help, you know, because he knows ChemCor and Palmer and all that…” 

Felicity finished the last of the water and put the bottle down without taking her eyes off Oliver. Then she leaned back and took a deep breath.

“Explain that,” she said. “Oh, and hi Barry,” she added, leaning sideways to look past Oliver at her friend. She gave him a small smile, and returned her gaze to Oliver.

“Well, like I said,” he explained, “I went looking for you when we didn’t hear from you. Barry here had the same idea, so he and I bumped into each other at the apartment. I decided to bring him in and tell him everything, “Oliver finished. 

“He’s been very helpful actually,” he added, giving Barry a nod of approval. “Barry’s the one who located your camera feed.” 

“So you know everything?” Felicity asked, looking at Barry, feeling a little apprehensive. She wasn’t sure how he’d react to the fact that she had been lying to him for the past two weeks.

“Yes, Oliver explained it all” Barry said with an eager smile. 

‘So...that would be a totally okay with the lying then,’ Felicity thought, mildly surprised. 

“It’s absolutely awesome what you guys are doing,” Barry continued. The enthusiasm was practically bursting out of him. “But I’m so sorry for what happened to you, of course,” he added with a concerned frown. “Are you all right?”

“That is what I’m here to determine, I believe,” said a voice from the doorway. “I’m Doctor Lockhart,” the man said, walking towards Felicity. “Evening Oliver,” he added, nodding in Oliver’s direction. 

He placed his bag on the coffee table and looked her over, with a friendly smile. 

In fact, this man screamed ‘friendly’ Felicity thought. He was tall, but slightly stooped, with medium brown hair and no distinguishing features. He was so ordinary he would have been practically invisible if it wasn’t for the aura of warmth and friendliness that seemed to surround him

“Miss Smoak I presume?” he asked with another smile. 

“Yes, I’m Felicity Smoak,” she said smiling back. “But please, call me Felicity.” 

Dr. Lockhart shrugged out of his jacket before he started laying out test tubes for blood samples, swabs, a bottle of some pills and a few other items, humming to himself as he worked. 

“Oliver, could you and the young man give us a little privacy, perhaps?” Dr. Lockhart asked, turning towards Oliver. “I won’t be long. Ten - fifteen minutes tops.”

Felicity noted with interest that Dr. Lockhart spoke with a certain familiarity. It seemed the doctor and Oliver knew each other well she thought, and filed that piece of information away for later. She’d never seen him before, which was somewhat surprising, considering she knew pretty much everyone that Oliver saw these days, whether for business or socially. 

Oliver hesitated, as if he was about to protest, but then he apparently thought better of it, and followed Barry out the door, with a long glance at Felicity as he left.

“He worries about you,” the doctor commented with a knowing smile. “But from the looks of things we’ll have you back to normal in no time. Now, tell me Felicity, what exactly happened?” Dr. Lockhart asked. 

“I can’t tell you much,” Felicity said with an apologetic shrug. “I was drugged Tuesday afternoon – but I don’t know with what. I woke up late this afternoon – probably about 4-5 hours ago,” she estimated. 

“I haven’t suffered any other physical harm that I’m aware of,” she added. “I mean, other than the bruises to my wrists and ankles from being tied up, and being a little dehydrated.” She indicated the empty bottle on the table next to his bag. 

Dr. Lockhart was busy shining a small penlight into her eyes.

“Well,” he said, “I can see you’ve started taking care of the dehydration. As for the drug, it doesn’t seem to have any lasting effect, but I’ll just draw some blood for testing – maybe it has left traces that we can get some answers from,” he explained. 

Having drawn the blood, Dr. Lockhart gently but efficiently treated the bruises and wounds on her wrists and ankles.

“There,” he said. “That should do it. I would imagine that you are feeling sore and exhausted right now, but plenty of rest and lots of fluids and you should be fine.” He gave her another warm smile and started packing up his things. 

Oliver must have been keeping watch through the glass door because the minute the doctor started packing up, he was there, hovering over her again. 

The Doctor said goodbye and Oliver walked him to the door. They spoke for a few minutes in low voices. Felicity gave up listening in on their conversation and focused her attention on Barry in stead. He had drifted in after Oliver, and was now edging closer to the couch. 

“You can sit Barry,” she said, indicating the couch. 

Barry sat down on the end of the couch. 

“So,” she said. “Anything you want to ask? I should probably start by saying that I am really, really sorry for not being honest with you. I couldn’t, you know – but I wanted to. I wasn’t faking being your friend though. Just so you know…” 

Barry looked at her for a second. Then his face split in a huge smile, and he leaned forward and squeezed her hand. 

“Don’t worry about it Felicity. Oliver explained it all, and I think it’s so cool! I mean I wish you could have told me but I totally understand.” 

Just then Oliver walked over and cleared his throat. Barry immediately shut up - as if he was being reprimanded by the teacher, Felicity noticed with amusement.

“Doctor Lockhart has given you the all clear,” Oliver said directed at Felicity. “So I think we should get you home to bed. You need to rest. We can do the debriefing tomorrow – and you’ll probably have to talk to the NSA guys too he added.” 

“I should probably get going too,” Barry said, jumping up. 

Felicity got to her feet, still feeling a little week and woozy, but she felt capable of walking on her own now at least. 

“I’ll see you soon,” she said. “And thanks for helping out tonight.” She gave him a quick hug and watched as he shook Oliver’s hand, and walked out of the office. 

“Well,” she said, turning to face Oliver. She suddenly felt shy. Not quite sure how to proceed. 

Being alone like this, after hours, in the office, after the turmoil of the events of the past few days, she felt relaxed an elated at the same time. The air was somehow charged she felt. She wondered if he felt it too. That feeling of calm but something electrifying on the inside. Like champagne bubbles in the blood, she thought. 

He smiled at her. A slow, warm smile. Then he reached out and cupped her cheek with one hand, his thumb rubbing small circles on her skin. She let out a soft gasp and leaned into his hand, eyes closing briefly. 

She felt like things were changing. That something had changed between them. 

This was it. This was the moment she had been waiting for. She was sure of it.


	11. Starting over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is where it ends...Oliver and Felicity have been on a bit of a roller coaster and now - with Felicity's two weeks' notice coming to an end, time is running out for Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...sorry for the delay with this last chapter - holidays got in the way. But here we go....

It was the whoosh of the air conditioning system being kicked up to max and the sudden blast of arctic air that woke him up.

At first Oliver was disoriented. There was too much light. His bed had apparently shrunk over night, and something was poking him in the back. Then the headache hit him like a sledgehammer! 

He moaned and closed his eyes against the light, trying to ignore the chill and the noise. His hands searched his surroundings for the duvet his bed usually provided, but came up empty. 

God, he felt awful! His head was pounding, his stomach felt very unsettled at the slightest movement and he was pretty sure a small, furry, animal had decided to take up residence in his mouth sometime during the night. 

“Have you decided you’re going to live, or should I just seal this office off permanently?” Dig’s voice boomed from somewhere in the distance. 

Office…the word slowly registered with Oliver, and the events of last night started to come back to him. 

Palmer. The rescue. Felicity. The two if them, alone at the office after everyone else had left. 

It had seemed like a no-brainer. This thing between them…it had finally felt just right. Yet somehow at the critical moment he had frozen up. He had been so close, so ready to take that leap, but somehow he had managed to fumble it and she had run away. 

Not that he blamed her. He was an idiot. He had just stood there, not knowing how to respond to her, scared to say the wrong thing – and as a result saying nothing at all! 

He cringed at the memory, and was instantly rewarded with a searing pain shooting from his left eyeball all the way to the back of his head. 

Through the fog in his head, the emotional melt down of last night came crashing back. 

He had messed up good! He still didn’t quite understand how, but she was gone, and he had no one to blame but himself. He knew that much. 

So in response he had done the only sensible thing – he’d gotten absolutely wasted! He seemed to recall that he had intended to go to a bar, but had decided he didn’t want company while he was still sober, so he had started his bender by finishing off the bottles kept in the office for visitors and special occasions. It would seem he never made it out of the office. 

The smell of bourbon and cognac wafted at him on the arctic wind that was still blowing strong. 

‘Why was he being blasted with an ice storm?’ his sluggish mind managed to wonder. He was going to catch pneumonia on top of being severely hung over if this continued. But maybe that would be a good thing, his grumpy inner voice suggested. He might actually die. Then he wouldn’t feel this wretched anymore. 

Oliver contemplated that for a bit, but decided that dying was taking too long and he was very uncomfortable. He carefully attempted to open one eye, to get his bearings. The light was still painful, but he was adjusting to it now. 

Suddenly Dig’s puzzled face loomed over him. 

“Hey man,” Dig said. “You look like ten kinds of crap! What did you do last night?”

Dig’s sharp eyes quickly scanned the mess on the coffee table, and its immediate surroundings. Empty and half-empty bottles, knocked over glasses, paper strewn everywhere. 

“Never mind,” he said. “I can see what you did. Tequila, Bourbon…even Cognac? Basically an alcoholic trip around the world! Were you trying to kill yourself? Seriously man, with the amount you seem to have drunk you might actually have drowned!” Dig sounded both amused and mystified.

Oliver shifted on the couch and let another moan escape. It didn’t seem to elicit much sympathy from Dig, he noted. He decided to try and sit up but almost immediately regretted it when the room started spinning around him in crazy circles, making his stomach go all queasy again. 

“Leave me alone Dig,” he managed to say through the fur in his mouth and the pounding in his head. “They weren’t completely full when I started,” he rasped, indicating the bottles on the coffee table in front of him. 

Dig chuckled somewhere behind him. 

“Well, it seems they were full enough,” Dig said. “Now, why don’t I take you home, so you can shower, drink a gallon of mouth wash and swallow a small pharmacy, huh? You’re not fit for a debrief with the NSA-guys like this.” 

“What was the occasion anyway?” Dig asked, sounding mildly curious. “Drinking away the urge to kill Palmer? I would have thought you would have spend the night more… constructively,” Dig said with a smirk. “I would have thought you’d have been watching over Felicity like a hawk!” 

Rather than waste energy on answering, Oliver tried to get up but quickly sat back down when his stomach loudly protested the movement.

“Why is it so cold in here?” he asked instead, shivering. 

“I cranked the aircon to max when I got here,” Dig said. “Your office – and Felicity’s too actually – stank of booze!”

“’s not Felicity’s office anymore,” Oliver mumbled morosely, holding on to his head with both hands now. 

That seemed to get Dig’s attention.

“Excuse me?” Dig said, stopping his half-hearted attempts to clean up the mess on the table. 

“What was that? What do you mean ‘it’s not her office anymore’, Oliver?” Dig’s voice was not amused anymore. 

He put down the bottles he had been collecting, and loomed large over Oliver with a don’t-mess-with-me look on his face. 

“What the hell happened after I left?” Dig was talking in his quiet, menacing voice now – the one that was usually reserved for criminals or really pushy reporters. 

“I don’t understand, Oliver… Why the hell would she leave? You two looked like you were headed towards a very speedy…reconciliation,” Dig asked. 

“You both seemed to be more than ready to work things out between you. What changed?” Dig was leaning over him now, arms folded over his chest and an accusatory look on his face. 

Oliver winced – partly because of the pain, partly because of the memories of last night assaulting him. 

He had wanted her so badly. Wanted them. He had wanted it with every fiber of his being – just to take that final step, close the distance between them, and take the leap, hoping that she would follow. 

But he also knew that he didn’t really deserve to have her. He didn’t dare to reach out and take what she was offering for fear that he might ruin it. 

So he had done what he always did. He shut down, stepped back and put up his wall. 

But this time she wasn’t having it. She had given him this whole speech about how he was shutting people out, basically being foolish and selfish and hurting his friends in the process. 

He had wanted to tell her then, that it wasn’t like that any more. That heck! He had already let her in - she just didn’t know it yet. 

But suddenly it was over. She was leaving before he had so much as formulated the beginnings of an explanation. In complete disbelief he had watched her step back and walk out of the office, too stunned to speak, let alone move. He had just stood there, watching her leave. 

‘No, no, no!’ his mind had screamed at him. ‘This can’t be happening!’ How had they gone from complete bliss to utter disaster in a matter of minutes? How could she not see that he loved her so desperately that he was completely tongue tied around her for fear of saying the wrong, stupid thing and scare her off? 

‘Because you have been doing a fantastic job at pushing her away for the past three years, you big idiot!’ his angry inner voice was yelling at him. 

And he knew it was true. He had been very good at keeping people at arms length – until that night two weeks ago, when she had passed out on his couch and powered through all his defenses in the process, leaving him bewildered and in unfamiliar territory. 

He had been fumbling ever since.

“Oh man, No!” Dig was saying now. “Please tell me you told her?” he continued. “You told her, right?”

“Told her what?” Oliver mumbled. “She was out of here so fast I hardly had time to say good bye.” He didn’t look Dig in the eye though. 

The lights were too bright for his sensitive eyes, he told himself. 

But he knew full well that the real reason was that he didn’t want to see the look of disappointment in his friend’s eyes. He had little doubt that Dig was very unimpressed with him right now. 

“My God, Oliver!” Dig said, throwing his hands up in an ‘I-give-up-on-you’-gesture. 

“You didn’t tell her that you love her? You let her leave here thinking that you still haven’t gotten your head out of your ass, and decided to join the ranks of the living?” Dig looked like he might actually punch him this time Oliver thought. 

“You know, Oliver, for a smart man you really are unbelievably stupid sometimes!” Dig said. 

“Hey!” Oliver tried to protest, but realized he didn’t have the energy to argue – and also he kind of agreed with Dig, he admitted to himself. 

“You’re going to fix this,” Dig said categorically. “I hope you’ve gotten this self-pity out of your system now, because drowning your sorrows by drinking your way through three different continents is not an option! Now get up – I’m taking you home and getting you cleaned up, and then you are going to fix this mess before it’s too late!” 

***

Felicity had dragged herself out of bed before six that morning, feeling the full weight of a sleepless night, on top of the strain of the whole undercover-kidnapping-rescue-ordeal. 

Her entire body was sore, and the bruises around her wrists were throbbing. But it was nothing compared to how she felt on the inside.

Sick of crying into an already tear-soaked pillow, she had decided she might as well get a head start on packing before heading back to the office for the debriefing. But not even the extra cup of coffee or the cold shower she had treated herself to had managed to eradicate the cobwebs from her brain.

She felt like she was moving through water. Her body felt slow and sluggish, her mind fuzzy. 

And her heart…well, she was trying very hard to ignore her heart and the message it was sending. She couldn’t take any more crying right now. And she had work to do. 

After the shower she had been sorely tempted to slip into her favorite pajamas and spend the day wallowing in them, but had decided against it. For one thing, they weren’t really appropriate office attire and also she really needed her amour today – and in her case that meant a form fitting, just below the knee, electric blue dress and heels. 

With her hair pulled back in a high ponytail, and glasses firmly in place, she felt she could face the world – or more specifically, Oliver and the NSA-boys. No one was going to know that her heart had shattered into a million pieces last night, or that she was planning on spending the foreseeable future curled up in the foetal position on her old bed in her mother’s house. 

She just needed to pack up and be ready to leave the minute the debriefing was over and her employment at Queen Security officially at an end. She winced at the painful squeeze of her heart the finality of that thought brought on.

But the packing had been slow work. Partly because she was exhausted, but also, she suspected, because she kept hoping for a miracle. ‘So pathetic!’ she thought to herself, angrily pushing away thoughts of last night and how her hopes had come crashing down, just as she was beginning to think she had reason to hope. 

She fought with the zipper on her overnight bag for a minute. The stupid thing wouldn’t move, and in frustration she pulled harder, but only succeeded in getting it stuck more firmly. 

With an exasperated sigh she threw the bag down, and slumped down on the bed, resting her tired head in her hands. She closed her eyes for a minute and let the events of last night engulf her one more time. 

She had leaned into his touch thinking that this was when he finally declared himself. 

But he hadn’t. Of course he hadn’t. He was Oliver Queen. Loner, martyr and - unfortunately for her - over-the-top annoyingly lovable but perpetually unavailable. 

No, he had effectively ruined the moment by clearing his throat and suddenly turning all business-like. He had started talking about a protection detail for her apartment, clearing out the undercover apartment, what time to set up the debrief for and on and on… 

He hadn’t said a word about how he felt. About her. About them. 

She had watched him while he visibly shut down and pulled away from her - from the intimacy of the moment - and once again became her boss, Oliver Queen. 

And that’s when she knew. She knew how wrong she had been all along. Wrong to think that he would ever let her in. That he was capable of letting anyone in. 

Felicity had decided right then and there, that she had had enough! That she should be pissed at him for still playing emotional hide and seek. 

She’d cut through his planning session – in a somewhat snippy tone, admittedly. But honestly? He was lucky ‘snippy’ was all he was getting. She’d fumed inwardly.

“I’m exhausted,” she’d told him, “and I have a lot to sort out tomorrow – the debriefing, tying up lose ends,” she’d paused. “And handing things over to my replacement,” she’d finished, giving him a pointed look.

She’d started gathering up her personal things, studiously avoiding eye contact with him. She wasn’t going to cry, she’d promised herself. It was bad enough that she had so seriously misjudged where they were headed – she wasn’t going to break down and cry on top of everything too! 

It was absolutely intolerable! She was on the verge of bawling her eyes out in front of the man – and he had just stood there completely oblivious apparently! Felicity had mentally stomped her foot at his near-apathy. 

At the very least he had deserved a strong dose of Truth Tea, she’d decided. If he was going to walk away, he was going to hear what she had to say first. 

She’d turned around to face him again, hands on hips, ready to do battle. 

“There’s something I need to get off my chest before I go,” she’d said, harnessing all the anger she could summon (which regrettably wasn’t a lot given the circumstances). 

“You know how you keep saying that you can’t let anyone into your life because of the danger that would put them in? Well, guess what Oliver? I’m already in your life! And so is Dig. So are a lot of people. And so far nothing bad has happened to any of us because of that.”

Oliver had looked a little shell-shocked at her sudden attack, she recalled, but had remained silent. 

“So I don’t think this bull-shit excuse you keep peddling for not letting anyone in, is really about you being afraid that the people you care about will get hurt,” she’d continued.

“And if it were,” she’d said as an afterthought, “I’d ask Dig to kick your ass, because honestly Oliver, that is just so stupid – arrogant even!” She’d shaken her head in exasperation. “We all have the right to make that choice for ourselves!” 

“It’s become a crutch that you’re desperately clinging to, Oliver, rather than face up to the real problem!” Felicity had been on a roll. “And I think this is really about you not being willing to forgive yourself for things you’ve done in the past, some self-imposed sentence for imagined crimes,” she’d continued. 

Oliver had just stared at her with a haunted look on his face, so she’d powered on.

“But whatever the reason, bottom-line is, you’re still not letting anyone in, Oliver”, she’d said. “And even if I understand why, it still hurts the people around you.” She had looked at him, silently pleading with him to understand, willing him to say something.

But he still hadn’t said anything. He had just gotten that look, she noticed. That ‘kicked-puppy’-look that she just couldn’t resist, so she’d deliberately turned her head away, feeling deflated by his non-response. 

Now she kept going over the conversation, trying to understand how it had all gone so wrong. 

Things had felt SO right! She thought for sure that they were finally on the same page, that he felt it too, that he would finally forget his stupid self-sacrifice and just be human! She had actually thought that he had felt what she felt, that he wanted what she wanted. 

God! She had been so stupid! She should have realized long ago that he was just being nice, trying to let her down easy with that ‘it’s-too-dangerous’-excuse. It was so obvious to her now. He had never had those feelings for her – she had deluded herself into thinking that he did, when all it had ever been on his side was a case of basic physical attraction! 

And last night, he had probably just been worried about her. Concern for a friend and coworker who had been through an ordeal, sure, but nothing more. And she had completely misunderstood, over-interpreted and jumped to (the wrong) conclusions! So embarrassing! 

Suddenly mortified, Felicity briefly considered calling in sick to avoid the debriefing. To avoid him! 

She sighed and let herself fall back onto the bed, legs dangling over the side. 

No, she decided. She had to go in and get it over with. The proverbial ripping off the band-aid. It had to be done, and then she could leave. Then she could hide out at her mother’s, recuperate, and focus on what to do next.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. Someone was leaning on the buzzer, apparently hoping to make the door magically burst open.

With a load groan Felicity got off the bed, and made her way to the door. She was too tired to even bother checking who it was. Probably just one of her nosy neighbors stopping by with yet another flier about a lost puppy or something, she figured. 

She threw open the door, trying to arrange her face in an imitation of a smile. Then she froze. 

“Oliver!” she yelped, noticing that her voice sounded oddly squeaky. “What are you doing here?” He looked pretty haggard she noticed. Possibly even worse than she felt right now. 

“Can I come in please?” he asked, a quiet urgency in his voice.

For a split second she thought of shutting the door in his face, but she knew him better than that. If he wanted something he wasn’t going to give up that easily and she just didn’t have the energy to fight with him today. 

Wordlessly she opened the door wider and stepped aside to let him in. 

He took a few steps into her living room before he turned to face her. He looked absolutely wrecked she realized. Like he had the flu and his favorite pet had just died.

Felicity clasped her hands together to keep from fidgeting – or worse, hugging him! - and waited. He wasn’t getting any help from her, she decided, even if he did look unreasonably good in his casual Friday-attire.

A little too casual for a day at the office actually, she realized with a small frown, taking in the jeans and a white V-neck T-shirt. This was definitely not his usual office-uniform, she thought absentmindedly. But he did look indecently good in it, even with the 3-day scruff and eyes that looked like he needed sunglasses even indoors. 

‘Oh stop it!’ she silently snapped at herself. How could she even be noticing his looks at a time like this? 

She was just sleep-deprived and overly emotional, she told herself. Better just wait him out. 

“We need to talk,” he said. 

***

“Way to lead with the biggest cliché of all time,” he thought he heard her mumble, but it was too low for him to be certain.

She looked tired, he noticed, and sad. But also very determined and business-like in her blue dress, hair in place, all shiny and swingy ponytail, just screaming at him to reach out and run his fingers through the blonde tresses… 

And that dress! He silently moaned and prayed for strength. That dress had been his undoing several times already – watching her move around in it at the office had always left him fumbling for words. Why did she have to choose that dress today of all days?

‘Get a grip,’ he thought to himself. Now was SO not the time to drop the ball again!

For a second he looked around, debating with himself how to do this. The apartment was a bit of a mess, signs of packing everywhere he looked. 

So she was actually going though with it, he thought, cold dread pooling in his stomach. It dawned on him that he had never really believed that she would actually leave – he had always assumed that it would work out somehow. Clearly he miscalculated there as well, his grumpy inner voice noted acerbically. 

In the end he opted for just spitting it out in whatever form he could – things couldn’t really get much worse at this point anyway, he reasoned. 

“Felicity, I know you probably don’t want to see me right now,” he said, “but would you please just listen to me for a minute?” 

“I know I’m an idiot and that the way I handled things last night was…unforgiveable. I really messed up.” She just looked at him, an unfathomable look in her eyes.

“I should have never let you leave like that,” he continued when she didn’t contradict him. 

“And I was hoping you would give me a chance to tell you what I should have told you last night…” he paused, suddenly feeling shy. 

“Well, to be honest, what I probably should have told you two weeks ago.” 

She remained silent.

“Possibly three years ago,” he added quietly. 

Felicity looked at him for a moment, her eyes dark and apprehensive behind the glasses. Then she sighed, and leaned against the back of the couch, cocking her head to indicate that she was listening. 

Suddenly he was having trouble breathing. The fact that she hadn’t kicked him out on his face yet set small flutters of hope off in his stomach. 

He just wished she would say something. He had no clue whether he was talking himself into a kick in the gut or a happy ever after. 

“Look Felicity, the things you said last night…you were absolutely right,” he said, running his hands through his hair. He was very aware that his voice sounded all raw like he had a cold – or was about to cry. But that was ridiculous of course, he thought fleetingly. 

“But you were also absolutely wrong,” he continued. 

Her head snapped up. ‘What?’ He could see the indignant question forming on her face, as her brain registered what he was saying. She was about to interrupt – no doubt with a cute, sarcastic remark, he thought - so he held up a hand to stop her. 

“Please, just hear me out,” he pleaded. “You were wrong when you said that I’m not letting anyone in, because…” he took a deep breath, then he slowly stepped towards her and lightly put a hand on her shoulder in a gesture that was partly to make sure she didn’t bolt on him, partly because he suddenly desperately needed the reassurance of the physical contact. 

“I let YOU in, Felicity,” he continued softly, trying to catch her eyes. “I don’t know how or when it happened exactly, but somehow you wormed your way under that wall I always put up, and now I can’t imagine being without you.” His voice sounded strange to him, thick somehow, and he found it difficult to talk around the lump that had suddenly taken up residence in his throat. 

“I’ll gladly admit that I’ve been a complete ass,” he said with a small humorless laugh. “I didn’t realize how much you’d become part of my life until you were threatening to leave. And it nearly destroyed me! Felicity, please…” He paused and took a shaky breath and tried to compose himself.

“That night when I told you about my past, you told me that you had fallen in love with me,” he said, his voice almost a whisper now. 

“And idiot that I am, I didn’t say anything – and I’ve been kicking myself for that ever since. I don’t know if I’m too late, and I completely understand if you don’t want to hear this anymore, but I have to tell you now, what I should have said then.” 

She slowly looked up, and it knocked the wind out of him to see the mixture of pain and longing in her eyes. He just wanted to pull her into his arms, and hold her tight, to make it up to her. But he knew he had to finish what he had come to say to her. 

“That night I should have told you that I love you,” he said. “Because I do.” 

“I love you, Felicity, and I have been hopelessly in love with you for a very long time. I was just too blind and stupid and stubborn …to realize it.” 

He let his hand fall from her shoulder, looking at her imploringly. 

‘Say something’ he silently begged her. 

He had halfway decided on moving on to cave man tactics and simply grab her, and SHOW her how he felt, when she finally glanced up at him. 

***

He loved her. 

He’d just said that he loved her. 

He HAD just said that…right? 

She wasn’t hallucinating? Oliver Queen had just told her that he loved her? 

Thoughts and emotions ran riot as Felicity kept up an inner dialogue trying to decide whether she had actually heard what she had wanted to hear for so long.

She glanced up at him through her lashes, not really ready to meet his eyes full on. His face was so familiar to her, but now there was a new vulnerability there – an insecurity that she had never seen in him before.

‘Well, say something!’ her inner voice nudged her. ‘Don’t just stand there or he’ll run off again.’

Making an effort to stem the silly grin she felt bubbling up all the way from her toes, Felicity took a deep breath. 

“Yeah,” she said softly. “You really are an idiot, Oliver. No argument there.” 

Oliver’s face fell instantly, whatever hope had been there clearly wiped out by her words. 

“So I guess it’s a good thing that idiocy is the one thing that saves you from being completely pain-in-the-ass perfect,” she continued with a thoughtful frown.

“I mean, who wants to be with someone THAT perfect, right?” A small smile was turning up the corners of her mouth, mischief playing in her eyes when she finally looked him full in the face.

His eyes widened as her words registered, and he started to reach for her. 

“Are you saying, that...?” he began, but she quickly interrupted him.

“I’m saying that - big idiot that you are – I do love you,” she said huskily. “Of course I do. I think I always have. Possibly from the moment when we first met, although I know that sounds ridiculous and I’m not usually one to believe in silly things like love at first...”

The rest of her babbling was cut off as Oliver quickly closed the distance between them, his arms going around her, his lips crushing hers in a desperate kiss. 

It was like he couldn’t get close enough. His arms were like steel bands around her, one hand cupping her face, the other holding her securely against him. His kiss was almost painful in its intensity. But Felicity matched his passion perfectly, finally letting go of all her pent up emotions, and taking what she wanted. 

He moaned against her mouth and deepened the kiss, the hand on her back, restlessly travelling up and down her spine, making her tingle all over. 

Coming up for air briefly, her rested his forehead against hers, looking deep into her eyes. His were like warm pools of clear blue, enveloping her in a sense of home, of safety. 

“I love you,” he whispered, and Felicity felt her entire body resonate to those words. “I love you too,” she whispered back. And then he was kissing her again. 

This time there was no need to pull back, no restraint. 

His caresses turned more urgent as she pressed against him, running her hands over the expanse of his chest, feeling the muscle in his arms stretch the soft fabric of his t-shirt. They both felt the need to get closer, both of them pulling at zippers, unhooking buttons, clumsy and hurried, eager to remove the last barriers between them. 

She pushed his t-shirt over his head, and reveled in the feeling of his hard, muscular body under her hands, licking, biting, tasting him blindly, eager to get to know every inch of him. 

She was dimly aware that he scooped her up in his arms, and carried her towards the bedroom. The rest of the world dropped away, and the only thing that mattered was Oliver, and the things he was making her feel. 

He sat her down on the bed, leaning over her, boxing her in with strong arms, tracing hot kisses down her neck, before returning to kiss her lips, this time planting soft, light kisses along her lower lip, driving her crazy with need. 

Felicity tangled her hands in his hair, pulling his mouth to hers more fully to end his teasing. He let her guide him for a moment, and then he pulled back and dipped his head to the neckline of her dress, trailing kisses along the edge of the light fabric, from one side to the other. 

Felicity let her head fall back to give him better access, and let out a soft gasp. 

She felt him slowly pulling down the zipper on her dress, his fingers trailing over the skin he exposed. She lifted off the bed slightly to let him pull the dress away, and sighed with content, when she finally felt his naked body pressed tightly against hers. 

His hands were busy trying to unhook her black lace bra, when en unwelcome thought intruded. 

“Oliver,” she said breathlessly, trying to get his attention. “Just how important is it for us to be at the office for the debriefing?” she managed to ask before his mouth clamped down on her now exposed breast. She felt more than heard his low chuckle. 

When he raised his head to look down at her, he was grinning like a naughty schoolboy. 

“I say we play hookie today and let Dig deal with it,” he said. “Something tells me he’ll approve.”

Then he bent his head to kiss her again. 

“You’re the boss,” she mumbled against his lips, and decided that playing hookie once in a while was definitely healthy. 

***

Something was bunched up uncomfortably under him, something sharp poking him just under the shoulder blade. 

He tried to ignore it for a while, not wanting to ruin this perfect moment. He didn’t want to move and disturb Felicity, who was semi-asleep in his arms, his hands trailing lazy patterns on her back. 

But after a while the discomfort couldn’t be ignored any longer. Oliver squirmed around for a bit to retrieve whatever it was from under the covers, trying not to move too much. There was no way he was letting go of her now – not even for a minute. 

After a bit of maneuvering he succeeded in pulling out the offending object. It was her balled up black lace bra – the small metal buckle on the strap must have been the thing he felt. He slowly rubbed his thumb over the delicate fabric.

“Black…” he mumbled, absentmindedly.

“Are you going to eat that?” Felicity asked sleepily, her head resting comfortably in the hollow by his shoulder. 

He laughed quietly and pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“No, I was just thinking about that first night.” She lifted her head a little and looked at him questioningly. He smiled, then he tucked her head back down, stroking her hair. 

“What do you mean, ‘that first night’?” she asked. “Have I been unconscious again and not noticed we had a night? ‘Cause that would really suck!” he could hear the smile in her voice, even though he couldn’t see her face, where it rested on his chest.

“No I mean that night when you passed out because of your medicine and I put you to bed,” he explained. “You were wearing pink lace underwear that night, and somehow I’ve been picturing you in pink lace ever since. But believe me I like black too!” he chuckled and brought her hand to his lips for a kiss.

“Wait a minute,” she said, sounding slightly more awake. “How do you know what color my underwear were that night? I thought you said you didn’t peek!” 

“Huh?” Oliver said, ‘Oh crap, I’m busted’ written all over his face. 

“Well, you know…I mean, I didn’t…I just – well, it’s really hard to undress someone and NOT see a little bit,” he finally settled on. 

Then he realized she was laughing at him. 

He pulled her in tighter and kissed her properly this time. 

“So you have been picturing me in my underwear, you say?” she said slowly when they broke apart, a wicked little smile turning up the corner of her mouth. He looked at her helplessly for a second.

“I…” he began. Then he decided that talk was overrated and launched in for another kiss, this time not stopping until her chuckles subsided and her arms snaked around his neck, her fingers running through his hair, her breath hitching…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading - and for your comments along the way. Like I started out saying this was my first attempt at a fanfic and it's been a lot of fun - and definitely a learning process. 
> 
> I'm ready for more and I'm sure I'll get better with practise :-D


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